Wednesday, April 23, 2008

An abysmal #$%! showing.

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?

I'll be sure to work on that in the coming months. Perhaps I can start with today's bloody adventure (literally... and also in the English cussing way).

After a lovely discounted massage at NHI, I did some browsing at Ikea for microwave carts, coat racks and computer desks (all of which I will need one of in my new place) and then headed over to my blood donation appointment.

[Ed. note: Easily squirmish readers should skip to the next post. Ye be warned.]

I have small arm veins, and my right arm is especially tricky so I always opt for the left, which is why I have numerous hole scars where my elbow bends. Today it took the guy several pokes and some rooting around to find my vein. Literally, rooting around. While the needle was in my arm. I've had nurses who had trouble finding my vein before but there was usually just lots of poking, no rooting, and in all but one case it took less than a minute.*

Anyway, whenever I give blood I am always fascinated watching the needle go in, and today was no exception - what with all the rooting - although since I felt kinda bad for the guy I occasionally looked away or over at my magazine to reduce any pressure he must've been feeling. At one point I said something like, "good thing I'm not a heroin addict, huh? heh heh heh" to try to ease his nervousness. (I don't think it worked. I later suspected that joking about heroin addiction in a blood donation clinic is on the same level as joking about bombs at the airport.)

I'm not particularly bruised from the experience, and I got to read about Drew Barrymore's design secrets, and I gave "the babies" some blood, so all in all it was a good experience despite a minor setback in the beginning.

I mean, a good fucking experience. Now go give some goddamned babies your blood. Ahem.

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* The one case where it didn't? About ten years ago, a novice nurse was poking poking poking and finally found a vein, but the gadget w/vial she was supposed to attach behind the needle malfunctioned which sent the needle careening into my arm. I actually felt it hit my bone... At which point I said something to the effect of "Jesus fucking Christ!" and she apologized profusely and called over her boss to finish up.

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