My very own IMMD.

I've been following this site pretty religiously lately, as a way to find humor in life's little whatevers and whathaveyous. Most of them induce a smile or an "awwww!" and make me want to ignore reality in favor of those brief seconds where it all makes sense.

Today I had the opportunity to play the Buffy video game. I should note that I haven't played a video game (other than Super Mario Brothers for about 5 minutes recently and Zaxxon using my keyboard's arrow keys several years ago) in approximately 20 years, and I'd certainly never played with such a complicated controller. Once I got the hang of it, though, it was a lot of fun. The cast commentary was about half-authentic and certainly less than stellar (Willow is not dumb goddammit! and where the hell is Giles?) but after a while I was staking vamps like nobody's business.

And then my friend and I checked out the multi-player options, and there was one where we eventually realized we could just beat the crap out of each other (as Spike vs Buffy)... and while I abhor violence on general principal and would never wish physical harm on this person... it totally MMD.

"So look, I don't hate children. I don't know how that rumor started."

I stole that from a David Cross bit, where he goes on to describe his friends who've had children and how their most interesting stories revolve around their children staring at grapes.

I actually love the offspring of my friends. They are adorable and charming, and they do far more interesting things than stare at grapes. Like make pirate faces on command, or sit contently in my arms for many minutes at a time, or finally giggle at me after many encounters of shyness over almost two years.

The children I do not enjoy are the ones who throw temper tantrums at airports.

Grocery stores and toy stores I totally get and support, at least to some degree. But airports? Really? I get airplanes - the ear pressure and turbulence and bumpy landings and scary mean flight attendants and no food and all - and I have no beefs whatsoever about kids screaming their lungs out on airplanes - but airports?

I had one of those last night out of Oakland. Someone's 3(ish)-year-old ran around the terminal for 20 minutes pre-boarding screaming "BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET ON THE AIRPLANE!!!!!!!!!!" at the top of her lungs. Yeah, we don't want you to either, kid, I kept thinking. The older gentleman in line next to me saw my scrunched up face and said, "oh, but they're not always like that," to which I instinctively replied, "maybe so, but I still don't want any," to which he replied, "oh, but it's so rewarding, I have 4 grandchildren, wouldn't trade them for the world, [blah blah blah]," at which point I felt bad for being a grouch...

And then 30 seconds later I heard a couple my age a few feet ahead of me (who could not have possibly heard my conversation with Grandpa over the 3-yr-old tantrum) say "wow I am so glad we agreed not to have kids." And then I didn't feel so bad.

However! A brand-new online community that I am happy to promote has made me see the light. Temper tantrum advice here. Some of this is funny, some is sarcastic, some is spot on. And there is much more life enriching advice throughout the site. Including consumer electric advice! Now how much would you pay?

I've been a Dooce fan ever since I learned you could get fired from writing about your job on the Internet (she did - I aspire not to, though I'm sure I'm capable of doing so if my intentions were good). Her daily creativity, whether it be humor or photography or design or people-interactions, inspires me. She and her husband approach parenthood, and life, and married life with the same gusto-coupled-with-world-weariness that I expect I would in that situation. (And she mocks Mormonism. I mean, come on. You've gotta love her just for that.)

So, please click away and enjoy, and rack up the ads for her... Because I haven't bought any of her books yet and I feel a little guilty about that. Dooce and I thank you in advance.

Progress.

I had a long talk with someone today about these quarterly goals and whether they are helpful or harmful. In the end I decided they were helpful, except for last year around this time when I had the exact same running goal and ended up not meeting it due to a dying cat and hating work and general world-weariness that did not put me in a good space to be running 13 miles, yet I got as far as 8 at one time, yet I beat myself up about not making that goal. This year, though? ALL OVER IT. Six miles down as of Monday, seven additional to go. In eight weeks. Eh, whatever, it's been done... and if it's not done again, this year I'm simply not going to care. (But it will be done. Mark my words.)

In other goal-related news... October's Fugitives & Refugees attempt was a bit of a bust. The Wilhelm's Portland Memorial, which would've been a great Octoberish activity, is now closed to the public except during specific, sporadic tour hours. (This is most likely due to the book. Thank you, Chuck.) Mount Gleall Castle, Portland's equivalent of the Winchester Mystery House and also good around Halloween time, isn't accessible to the public, it turns out. And I'd really intended to go to Powell's rare book room, where the ghost of the founder allegedly hangs out on Tuesday evenings, but there was yoga to be done. Much more important for my psyche this quarter.

But! The Sauvie Island corn maize was taken a step further - I went to the haunted version and it was ridiculously awesome. (Next year I am working there. How fun would it be to walk 4" behind people dressed as a zombie? Hell, I'd volunteer my time for that.) And I went to the Roloff farm, not featured in Chuck's book for many reasons, the main one being that it wasn't around when he wrote it. But this?

Spooooooky!

Besides. Not that I'm competitive or hold myself to stupidly high standards or anything (ahem) but I've done plenty in the book already. Wild Abandon, Fuller's? Check. (Yum and meh, respectively.) Hippo Hardware? I love their hippos. The underground tour? Yup. The "getting off" chapter? Ummmmmm... no thank you. When the vegan strip club closed before I even moved here, the sordid life left nothing of interest to me.

Anyway, never fear. October may have been only moderately successful, but there is plenty of F&R in store for November and December. I may not even have to plan November's, if all goes well. Have I mentioned lately that I love this town?

And as far as The Plan, well, it's coming along. More to figure out this weekend, and more conversational Spanish to learn. Stay tuned.

Thought o' the day.

There are worse things than bonding with your older male boss over the virtues of the Twilight series.

 

(There, are... right?)

Get over it.

If I can't tolerate maintenance guys outside my window every morning disrupting my morning routine for the third week straight with at least two more weeks to go (no, property management people, I am not a day sleeper no I am not home all day LOOK YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT they cause me to shut my windows and they make a lot of noise during my dark, quiet time and I don't like that!), how the heck am I going to tolerate not knowing where I'll be tomorrow or the next day or the next week? 

 

Time to stop whining, accept a little mold-breaking and spontaneously deal with the situation at hand. 

 

Any thoughts on how to make that easier?  This creature of habit is a little concerned.

A haiku for my new toy.

no spots when I zoom

vibrant hues, options a'plenty

{hearting} this camera

Eco-lazy.

It's become a personal challenge at this point. How high can I pile it before I need to take the 20 foot walk to the recycling bin outside?

Ahhhh, single living.

I am sure living in SPAIN had nothing to do with it...

... but still, a good reason to whip up some hummous or splurge on that feta cheese for the salad, especially as winter and the darkness starts to set in.