I think you need to fire Bob in marketing.

In today's mail I got a preview of Ode magazine - a self-proclaimed "magazine for intelligent optimists." OK...

A) being an "intelligent optimist" is basically impossible in today's world, in fact it's somewhat of an oxymoron to me, and

B) I am really neither, and especially not both combined, when all is said and done. I don't even need the "non-optimist" disclosure, and I am not smart enough to read Utne, the Economist... I don't even bother with Time anymore. Occasionally I'll hit the BBC news web site, but if it's depressing, or requires some knowledge of historical events, or doesn't feature a cute baby animal, or requires any significant level of thought, I ask my smart friends for the summary. And then I go Dishing.

Next thing you know, I'll be getting a preview of FUD, the magazine about government organization, or Ego, the magazine about things that are of medium large size. Or perhaps Jonx, the quarterly periodical about authentic replicas people take to the Antiques Roadshow only to be told they're worth about $0.50.

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Make your own magazine! Take an oxymoron, then find a hip word that somewhat resembles the oxymoron in the Urban Dictionary to use for the magazine name... Or start with the dictionary and then find an oxymoron that fits. It's fun!

Er... I suppose it's even more fun if you're unemployed...