Be born again (toll-free).

This was too funny not to publicly laugh at. Or to be publicly very, very afraid of. I now lean toward the latter.

I didn't get much farther than the following instructions on how to translate something into "Alphabetics" before starting to projectile-vomit uncontrollably:

Look before and after a word in its alphabetical listing (such as in a dictionary or lexicon). If a word (such as your name) does not occur in the listing, merely insert it alphabetically where it belongs. Sometimes you will find relevance in words tens of words away from the original word.

But I did learn from a related site that my area code means "band of soldiers" (according to whatever BDB is) or "no rebellion, no uprising" (according to whatever CLBL is). Oooooo-KAY then.

There is so much fun to be had with this. Too bad I'm now so irritated that THIS is how the bloody fundamentalists prove their completely irrational and inhumane points. I mean, Jesus F'ing Christ on a pogo stick, already.