"Try to behave, be happy that they made you a celebrity."

So my favorite Barenaked Lady got arrested for what appears to be snorting coke in his own apartment using a rolled up Canadian dollar (as an extra-special "F-U" to America, I guess), and now my favorite Batman is being charged with assault on his own family members.

My not so favorite Lindsay is gay, Amy Winehouse was surprised to learn she wasn't already dead, Eva Longoria was so desperate for a haircut that she had her husband do it, and Pete Doherty is in the news. AGAIN. (And again, and again.)

Yawn.

What I really want to know: why wasn't I told before now that Bob Geldof's daughter was named Peaches??