"Grace" must get it from me.

I was at the dentist today for my regular 6-month tartar intervention. There's a new hy... hi... tooth-cleaning lady so she was asking me all sorts of questions (of course while my mouth was gaped open and she was poking around - really, have these people not SEEN the Cosby dentist skit?).

Anyway. I guess she noticed something weird on the inside of my bottom lip and asked if I'd had any "trauma" there. I patiently pointed to the HUGEMONGOUS SCAR (okay maybe it just feels that way to me) from where I busted my lip open falling off a swing when I was four years old. "Oh wow! They did a really good job stitching that up - I barely noticed it." Uh-huh... Riiiiight.

Then she asked about the caps on my two front teeth, and I explained how I fell off my bike in second grade and broke my fall using my teeth and the handlebar. "You were busy as a child!" Uh-huh... CLUMSY, more like.

And then I started thinking about my other scars over the years. I really don't have that many to speak of (nor did I ever break any bones knock on wood)... The only other significant scar was from when I was 14 or so, and my brother played a prank on me by locking me out of the house when I stepped outside for a few minutes, and then turned his music up so loud that he claimed not to hear me knocking or ringing the bell. So I pounded on the door, and rang the doorbell, and then pounded on the glass, and at some point my arm went right through the window. I'll spare you the details. But I will say that they didn't do such a good job stitching that one up, you can still see the "holes" where the stitches were.*

Of late I have scars on my arms from burning myself on oven racks... (At the rate I'm going, my arms could someday look like this.) And all the bruises I find these days but can't remember where they came from.

Yeah, well. My mom hasn't called me "Grace" (with implied air quotes) all these years for nothing.

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* He eventually heard my screams and came upstairs to open the door... And then he went a little pale at the sight of all the blood, and gave me the most genuine hug he's ever given me. Minus all the bleeding and pain, it would've been kinda sweet.