This [insert media of choice] has warped my fragile little mind.

Instead of going on and on about how depressing last week was, and how painful it is to hear the death tolls rising every single day, and how everyone should give give give because lord knows they need it more than we do, and how if you're holding a goddamn video camera taping people about to get mauled down by giant waves perhaps you ought to PUT DOWN THE GODDAMN VIDEO CAMERA and yell at the people to run for cover instead of trying to make a buck [link excluded because it makes me too damn mad]...

Yes, instead of all that sadness I bring you the top five things I should not have been exposed to at age seven, as inspired by a raunchy REO Speedwagon song I heard on the radio coming home.

5. Dallas.
4. REO Speedwagon's Hi Infidelity.*
3. The Thriller video.
2. Three's Company.
1. Poltergeist.

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* For some reason unbeknownest to me, my parents let me play this record, along with Kim Carnes' Mistaken Identity (featuring the ever popular Bette Davis Eyes), over and over again. When I was SEVEN. That's just wrong.