Official, and unofficial, favorite new sayings.

Last weekend at a dinner party I got instructions from my English friend on how to respond to asinine questions/comments/suggestions from the many asinine people in my life. It's quite simple. You look them straight in the eye, adopt a temporary English accent, and say with authority, "Piss off, you're an idiot!" I practiced a few times that night but have yet to employ this in my daily life. I really hope to soon. I figure it's sure to be a hit.

Tonight I was watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and for the first time in my life, I really gave some thought to that kid, Charlie Brown. I mean, really now. What message does this send? What was the original intent? Did he not have parents? Did his parents not realize he was on the verge of suicide nearly every day of his life? What on earth kept him going every day? Did those obnoxious little brats he hung out with not have parents? Did their parents not teach them that it wasn't nice to ridicule their classmates and then kick them when they were down? What the hell did he ever do to anyone? No one ever gave Lucy shit for missing all those damn fly balls and losing games as a result (well no one except for Charlie Brown, that is).

I wonder how people would've reacted if he'd looked them all straight in the eye and said, "Piss off, you're an idiot!" Maybe it's not as effective when you're eight, though.

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Find out more than you ever wanted to know about Charlie Brown & Co. FAQs include interesting factiods, as well as answers like "There are two answers to this question: the official, and the unofficial." (Sadly, I'm not kidding. And yes, I fully intend to work that statement into my daily life as well.)