42 loooong minutes into it...

... finally, PIRATES! And then Captain Blood turned into a pirate, and then the real pirates were gone, and then within three months Blood was the most powerful pirate in the Caribbean, and then in the end he went back to the English army (which he disdained at the beginning of the movie).

Maybe I don't know enough about actual events in England's history to be able to appreciate the film. I just didn't see what all the fuss was about. (Pre-pirate he was a doctor, and I mean, come on, with a last name like "Blood" what other professions are really options for you? Vampire? Mortician?)

It did incent me to watch Pirates of the Caribbean again, though. But first I got distracted by The Breakfast Club rerunning on TV for the nine millionth time. Despite the commercial breaks and awful license with cutting scenes (to the extent that I'd be saying the lines along with the characters, and suddenly it would be the next scene but the actual scene wasn't finished, so I'd have to say the missing lines really quickly to catch myself up with the next scene - yeah, I'm that much of a dork about this movie - which I why I rarely watch the TV version anymore, but I happened to be ironing and cleaning up iTunes simultaneously so it was nice background)...

What was I saying? Oh yeah. What a brilliant movie.

Except that there were no pirates.