My latest impression of Homer Simpson.

So I was downtown at the annual Art & Soul festival this afternoon, and sometime between Luce and Lucinda Williams (who both rocked, by the way) I got a little hungry. The following is a re-enactment of my thought process as I wandered through the streets in search of a snack:

"Let's see what they have... BBQ, chicken on a stick, fried chicken, french fries, garlic fries, fried catfish, fried twinkies {insert Homer shudder}... Jesus. It's like, NINE THOUSAND DEGREES, do they really think all people want is fried - OOH! Hush puppies!"

I haven't had hush puppies since I was about eight years old. There was a once-good-turned-bad-turned-condemned all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant near my house growing up, and once or twice a year my dad would treat us to dinner there (we went during the "good" days). I always got the same thing - popcorn shrimp and hush puppies. All I could eat fried goodness.

After standing in line for 10 minutes I eagerly placed my order for hush puppies. The woman behind the counter sighed and said, "we're out of hush puppies." I literally could not stop my lower lip from poking out in protest. "Oh. OK, thanks anyway," I said, and I turned and - "OOH! Samosas!"

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Oddly, the once-really-good-turned-really-bad Chinese restaurant was in the same shopping center as the seafood restaurant. And the once-really-good Shakey's Pizza Place turned into a laundromat, the Hechinger's (east coast hardware store chain) turned into a Walmart and the Denny's turned into a strip club. I honestly believe that the whole neighborhood went to hell in a handbasket when I went off to college. "And the pool hall I loved as a kid is now a 7-11..."

Oh, and also? My new business plan involves a traveling fresh fruit, yogurt and granola stand that I can take to all the local summer festivals throughout the Bay Area. I figure I'll work about 15 days a year and make A FORTUNE.