"It's not lupus!"

So I've had this lower back pain for over a week now... internal pain, not muscle pain, not an external bruise. No other symptoms. I hate doctors so I did a quick scan on the interweb and noticed a lot of references to kidney stones, so I started drinking more water and the pain went away.

Almost. Now I have a metallic taste in my mouth and the pain is back. I did another quick scan on the interweb, and... Five things I'm pretty sure it's not:

• kidney disease
• Crohn's disease
• copper toxicity
• jaundice
  
• or, my favorite, pregnancy
  

So yeah yeah yeah, I will call the doctor on Monday if the symptoms don't go away. But GOOD LORD! I wonder if there's a pill for interweb-induced-hypochondria... This is worse than watching a House marathon.