She is here to PUMP. YOU UP.

My cat is now on steroids.*

It all started about a year ago when I got a couch from Ikea, which she immediately developed a reaction to (and a bald spot on her tummy as well). One vet trip and multiple couch cover washings later, all was fine. Then last April she apparently developed "seasonal allergies." Another vet trip and a bottle of liquid-omega-acid-vitamin-something-or-other later, all was okay for a while, then not quite okay. When I took her to the vet again today she'd lost yet another pound (a year ago she was 12 lbs, in April she was 10lbs, now she's 9lbs)... Hence the 'roids.

If all goes well, she's going to be pretty fucking buff in about three weeks. I can't wait to see it.**

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* Alternate post titles:

• "She was a juicer. Using steroids. Diabonol, then Wisterol - they use that on horses, for Christsakes."
• "Just call her Rafael Palmeiro."
• "My cat can beat up your cat."
  

** OK, if all goes well she will not be scratching constantly and will have gained a pound or two. But wouldn't it be funny if she ended up that way instead?