Attention, charities who send me mail asking for money:

Spell my name wrong (first or last) and your envelope automatically goes in the trash. So if you really have the cure for cancer and just need a few more benjamins, kindly do your research.

Sadly, this can help. And starting September 1, you can even add comments to my ZabaBlog saying what a cheapskate bad samaritan I am!

Jesus H Christ.