And now for something completely different.

One could say that I've had an off day.

I went to bed early last night knowing that I had to wake up early today (early for me, anyway - rise and shine is almost always between 6-7am). This morning I hit the snooze one fatal time (my clock radio only handles so many snooze hits... after which point it just shuts off... I *really* need a new clock radio) only to be immersed in an "I know what you did last summer"-corporate-stylie sort of dream. I don't recall the specifics but somehow the ship was set to explode, and my brother and I had been peripherally involved with setting the explosives but we didn't know why, and we were not allowed off the ship due to the investigation, which seemed a little odd - if they suspected a bomb on the ship you would think they would evacuate, but no, the investigators contained us all. So as soon as I was about to find out how I had been involved and what kind of sentence I was facing (other than death, as this was right before the ship exploded), I woke up.

Clearly a work dream. CLEARLY.

I woke up at 7:30am with a start from this dream. According to the plan last night, I was supposed to get up early to be clean and awake for an 8am meeting which was fortunately a 5-minute drive away. So I had 20 minutes to kinda clean up but not feel completely comfortable, and I was in no way awake for the meeting. I just kept thinking about the dream, and wondering why/how I'd been involved. Five minutes into the meeting I got the sense that the person I was meeting with had other priorities so I wasn't too concerned about my own distraction, although it was our last ceremonial bitch-and-moan session before I leave and I'd been looking forward to it. At least I got coffee'd up and fed.

Then later I sat through another meeting where I got really emotional for no apparent reason other than the suspected fact that my doctor switched a prescription to the generic brand and now my hormones are all off, and there's not much I can do about it since I won't have insurance in the near future. So I tried my best to hide my emotion (and I think I did OK) but it still bugged me that I couldn't contain - or explain - myself or my thoughts.

And then at the evening meeting that I was looking forward to, I got snubbed by someone which shouldn't have really surprised or bothered me but it did, and then (probably due to the aforementioned hormone issue) I started to feel feverish and even after eating something I didn't feel better, so I scurried out without really talking to anyone.

And now two hours later I've had some tea and played an hour of virtual Texas Hold'Em (which I learned about thanks to stalking ex-coworkers on Facebook), winning numerous points from strangers...

And I wonder if this is what my life will be like in Portland. And this worries me.

And so I will shut down Mr. Computer and turn to my other best friend, Mr. TV... well - actually - Mr. Planet Earth. I think I need a nature/nurture/I-am-really-not-that-important-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things night.

And some more cheese. That always helps.

Now spinning in my head 90% of every hour, although I am too lazy to update the list: Wilco - Sky Blue Sky - namely, Either Way... "Maybe the sun will shine today, the clouds will roll away... Maybe I won't be so afraid... I will understand, everything has its plan..."