Wednesday three.

Three signs I'm pretty sure Her Majesty's end is near, in no particular order:

• one of her ears droops (kind of like this, except that it's not as dramatic {yet?} and both creatures involved have black hair)... I have never seen or heard of that in a cat, and I'm pretty sure it's not an ear infection (and if it is, REALLY?? Angry Cat Gods, leave her be, will you?)
  
• she does a lot of groaning and high-pitched mewing instead of her normal annoyed meow, and she barely looked at me when I got home tonight
  
• she doesn't do that nauseatingly, heart-crushing, adorable half-hug thing anymore

I called her specialist for at-home vet euthanasia recommendations. I'm told I will know when it's "time."

So now, we wait...

We skipped Mt Rushmore too. Dorks.

Maryland -> California, August 1997.

Where the heck is Wall Drug? It's in South Dakota, along I-90 near the Badlands.

It's a bizarre little bumper-sticker place in the middle of nowhere, kind of like the Mystery Spot only without the gravitational anomalies. It's a kitschy highway rest stop, kind of like South of the Border only without the sombrero key chains. "FREE ADMISSION to this 76,000 square foot American Experience includes the Backyard with its Branding Iron Arcade, animated T-Rex, panning & mining experience for fossils and gemstones, Train Station Water Show & fun picture-taking props in a picnic area. Gourmet coffee shop! Pizza Parlor!" Now how much would you pay? But of course we had to stop, and we ended up spending way too much time there. Dorks.

Our next stop was the campground in the Badlands. We lucked out and got the last site in this bizarre little circle, then two of us hiked up to the top of the hill to take a picture. At some point we noticed a buffalo wandering (roaming?) about 50 feet outside the left side of this shot:

Our friend was in the tent napping. We feared for his life, but also for ours and therefore stayed put (dorks), and thankfully the buffalo roamed along. We didn't sleep much that night.

And then along I-90 in the Black Hills - some of the most amazing non-mountainous, non-canyony, non-national parkish scenery I have ever seen.


We toured the wind cave and headed up to Devil's Tower, where, upon realizing that to go up the monument we would have to pay $4/car, we just took a photo from afar. There were 3 of us in the car. It would've cost us $1.33 each to go up the monument. Dorks.

In honor of 2.5 upcoming days of mandatory fun, I bring you...

... a cool tree. Approximately NE Multnomah and NE 5th (?). Dunno, got off the train early to walk for a bit and look for something interesting on the way home. Not sure of the merit? Click on the photo and take a closer look.

I guess you could say I demanded it.

Before today I never took advantage of Netflix's "play" option, for a few reasons. Mostly because until about a month ago my computer desk chair was ridiculously uncomfortable (on purpose - didn't want to spend much time here). Also, I thought perhaps it cost more (it doesn't). Also because, much like my recent reversion to the actual CD instead of the digital album, I prefer to review the "cover," physically place it in the DVD player and go from there.

But today I had some ironing and no Netflix movies in hand. So I called up Conversations with Other Women and got introduced to this "play" concept.

It was rather reminiscent of the Before Sunrise/After Sunset films with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. If it had been cast with Catherine Zeta Jones, I would've used the 20-minute-me-no-likie rule and turned it off. But Helena brought a completely different depth to it. And of course I highly regard Aaron Eckhart's work, and in his whiny, 20-year-old-boy character I found something very familiar. (David, circa 2001?)

It was short. Got 90 minutes or so to spare while ironing, or need a filler between sending stuff back, I recommend it.

Another sort of (belated) Friday five.

Five things I will regain when Her Maj kicks the bucket*, in no particular order:

• 20 minutes a day, 10 minutes at 7am and 10 minutes at 7pm, that I spend making and administering her medical concoctions.
• the desire to live in a carpeted apartment.
• the 30 minutes I spend vacuuming every week, because she always has shed like a... a... well, like a cat.
• the ability to go on trips for just the cost of the trip.
• a lot more sleep** every night.
  

The biggest thing I will lose, other than an adorable furball full of unconditional love? That would be the perpetual "out" from awkward undesirable work-related happy hours. ("Um, sorry, can't make it, have to be home in an hour to give the cat her meds.")

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* You might think this is callous. It's not! You and I both KNOW she is going to drag this out for-EV-er... Damn cat.

** I will say, having a 4-lb cat go to sleep on your belly every night while you read, is much more pleasant than having a 12-lb cat settle there... but still.

Friday five.

Five things that made me happy this week, a week where I had pretty much run out of happy, in no particular order:

• Her Maj is eating regularly, at least for now.
• This American Life broadcast live in theaters across the nation, featuring a tearjerking (who knew?) story by Dan Savage, very funny stories by Starlee Kine and Mike Birbiglia, a sneak preview of the DVD commentary to Dr. Horrible as told by Joss Whedon (playing piano and performing for more than 9 people for the first time ever!), and of course, Ira Glass. If Sarah Vowell and/or Dave Eggers had been involved I would've died and gone to my own personal heaven. If you missed it, it's being rebroadcast May 7. Totally worth the $20 in my humble opinion. Aside from last Monday's acting class I haven't laughed that much in... suffice to say, a while.
  
• I may have found my new volunteer gig. It involves trees.
• I stuck to my picture-a-day goal. Not everything was captured well, or worth posting or publishing elsewhere, but I found something interesting or beautiful every day. This required creative outlet has been amazingly therapeutic. I won back my iPod after Lent but I still opt to leave it in my bag on the walk to and from the bus (or on the walk home if I have an hour to spare). I notice so much more that way.
  
• A guy I went to high school with put out an album that made its way to major record stores nationwide. On a whim I bought it and I like it a lot. I doubt he would appreciate comparisons but if you like things like White Stripes meets 60's pop meets catchy but not overly-so, check it out.
  

Compare and contrast.

I think I like the color one better, but the b/w shot is a more accurate representation of daily life in Portland.

A Friday five of sorts.

Today is Her Majesty's 11th birthday. Well, her "date 8 weeks later than the date I adopted her 11 years ago, when she was ~8 weeks old according to the staff at Berkeley Humane Society," anyway.

(My first tattoo had its birthday Wednesday and is now old enough for a driver's license permit, by the way. Happy birthday, Max! And damn, I'm old.)

Much like Her Majesty's lovely Christmas presents, I'm pretty sure she didn't want to hear the following five phrases uttered in a sterile cold vet exam room as her "happy birthday!" wishes:

• "... the fact that she's not responding to such a consistently high dose of prednisilone*, and the chemo-lite drug that usually works wonders had no effect either, is not a good sign."
  
• "... at this point other more invasive options would just do harm."
• "... where are you with all of this...?" {long pause} "I'm frustrated, she's still herself but she's clearly uncomfortable if not miserable, and I'm not going to be selfish about this... I think it's time to let it go."
• "... I think you're making the right call."
  
• "... when the time comes there are vets who do home euthanasia."

And so, she is now on "kitty hospice" which means no new drugs and possibly eliminating the existing twice daily prednisolone which seems to be doing more harm than good at this point. (I'm inquiring tomorrow after the last ditch test results are in.) And then waiting an undetermined period of time until she becomes someone other than Her Majesty (e.g. lethargic, catatonic, aggressive, etc) and calling the vet for an appointment with a high dose of anesthetics.

So anyway... happy birthday, Damn Cat.


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* High doses of prednisilone = lowered inflammation and generally, quick response and recovery BUT also = potential kidney and liver failure and also = accelerated muscle degeneration, ironically (given all those sports folks who use steroids as performance enhancers) which = Her Majesty not responding and in addition, falling off of chairs and beds a lot lately. So along with everything else I'm constantly worried that she'll crack a rib on the new cushy desk chair I bought while I'm at work one day.

Oh hai!

Whatcha reading?


Aw, man... not that Twilight crap again... Great. Guess I won't be getting much sleep for the next three days.

People at work will eat anything.

For the "new recipe" goal, on Sunday I decided to try these gluten-free, egg-free brownies. (I bought Ener-G Egg Replacer, but it looks like I could've used lots of other things I had handy too.)

They turned out okay - I think I should've mixed them longer because they were slightly gritty, and they probably could've used another minute in the oven, but between all the dark chocolate and butter you couldn't really tell.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon someone sent a note out about homemade cookies by X's office (I always love these - you can actually hear the stampede 2 seconds after the email is sent). I'd only let a few gluten-intolerant folks know about the brownies so that they were sure to get one. After the earlier email I sent out a note vouching that these were, at the very least, "interesting." Five minutes later they were gone.

And now, killing two goals with one stone, here they are:

Kings Canyon backpacking trip, 2002.

About three weeks before my 10-year high school reunion, I went on a week-long backpacking trip with some friends - Silver Divide loop out of Lake Edison. I had only car camped before this trip so I was a bit anxious about the logistics, the altitude and the pace we would be attempting (average 8-12 miles/day with 35 pound packs). But, okay, whatever. The friends I went with had done these types of hikes a zillion times so I was fairly optimistic, and I'd been pretty active at the gym for several months so it seemed like a reasonable endeavor.

I remember being at their house the night before we left. We were packing up our gear, and when I tried on my stocked pack for the first time I felt the blood drain from my body. There is just no way I am going to be able to do this, I thought. But I kept my reservations to myself figuring I'd either find a way, or I'd hang out at Lake Edison for a week while they had their adventure. That didn't sound so bad either.

The first day out, my concerns were still valid. We started mid-day and only went about 4 miles but it was pretty much straight up and I was hurting. The second day was pretty intense as well, but on day three we left our heavy packs at the campsite to check out a few lakes nearby. A 5-pound pack for a few hours, after a 35-pound pack for three days? I felt like skipping. In fact, I think I did.

Minnie Lake

Day four and five we saw so many amazing lakes, it reached a point where we'd look up, say, "oh, look at that amazing lake," and keep walking.

Glen Lake, near Purple lake, which really is purple when the sun sets (photos do no justice)

On the sixth day we reached the top of a particularly difficult summit and I remember exclaiming, "I feel GREAT!" My friend said it was because my muscles and lungs had finally adjusted. I thought it had more to do with the constant lack of oxygen. But I felt ready and willing to go another week.

It was pretty much downhill (literally) from there, and on the last night we camped at Mott Lake.

Mott Lake

This could very well be my favorite lake ever. Not just because it was at the end of a grueling week... I can't say why, exactly, but the serenity I felt at this lake was like nothing I'd felt before. Not sure I've felt it since, either.

One of the friends has since parted ways but I still enjoy memories of this trip, and I often look back at my photos and at the map he gave me. It was definitely the most physically challenging activity I'd ever attempted - and I survived. (And step class at the gym the next week? Piece of cake!) It was also the most subtle natural beauty I'd ever experienced.

The other friend hiked the Pacific Crest Trail a few years ago, where 20-mile days were the norm for six months straight. I simply cannot imagine living through that and it fills me with pride to know that she did. So while I probably won't embark upon such a trek, I'd like to do another week(ish)-long trip at some point, perhaps in my dear Rockies. What say you, Ghost?

Inspiration point.

I went on a long hike with a friend from work today (she promised that it counted as a "Portland thing" even though it was an hour outside of Portland). We got to talking about places we'd been and where we still wanted to go. I had a sudden, very pleasant revelation that I've seen more of the country and the world than most people, and that I need to remember that on a more daily basis.

I've been a bit at a loss of what to write about lately. So when I got home I scanned in a bunch of photos from my journeys, and I'll be sharing travel stories when I don't have anything else interesting to report.

But first, my new screen saver:

(Columbia River Gorge from Dog Mountain)

Braxton Hicks spring.

Monday was a lovely day for free cake at Pioneer Square (in honor of its 25th birthday) - 80 degrees, sunny, awesome.

Today was 50 degrees, overcast, equally awesome. Here's a little pink snow at the Lloyd Center MAX...

... and a little pink flower action at SW 3rd and Jefferson.

I have always preferred the reflection of the building to the building itself.

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Subject adopted from this.

"Arriving at one point is the starting point to another."

The first quarter of this year has disappeared faster than you can say "holy shit where has the time gone," and suddenly April is here. As previously mentioned, I did a pretty shoddy job on 1Q goals:

• run 10 miles - collectively throughout 1Q? yes. ultimately? nope.
  
• read at least one book a month - yes! January, plus more than one in February (exhibit a, exhibit b) and March (exhibit a, exhibit b, exhibit c)... seriously, people, I think I read one book in 2008 (excluding Buffy comics) so this is really progress, plus I've also theoretically joined two book groups
  
• road trip - possibly the Newport Seafood & Wine Festival? - nope... somehow the whale watching excursion slipped my mind during the hard drive cleanup debacle last weekend but it's back now, I'll have to investigate future possibilities
• and from the list, my first acting class was last Monday... it was weird... but there was potential... we'll see how that goes
  

It's been a tough three months, between Damn Cat and Damn Job and various other Damn factors, so all in all I'm happy with my achievements. And now, spring is here (at least for the next two days) and it's inspiring.

(One of these things is not like the others,
one of these things just doesn't belong,
can you tell which thing is not like the others
by the time I finish my song?)

But anyway, it is time to declare second quarter goals. The first unwritten goal is to keep reading a lot, but the actual written ones are:

• Go back to doing one "Portland" thing a week (interested to see how this goes - finding out about stuff is easy, it's the "doing" part that is always the challenge)
  
• Try a new recipe once a week (let the record show that I already know this one is gonna be hard - too set in my one-pan eating ways... but I now get Martha's magazine in addition to Sunset so between the two there's gotta be something worth making)
• Take at least one picture a day, of anything (I've signed up for a Photoshop class which will encourage this - although I've also mentally resigned myself to taking a walk or two during the day at work (rain or shine) where I always take my camera, and I always see something photo-worthy... today I saw an anti-minivan bumper sticker on a minivan and if I hadn't been driving, that would've been today's featured shot)

Ready, set, go!

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Title of this post complements of John Dewey.