Friday five.

Five people, places or things I ask you to keep in your thoughts in the coming weeks, in no particular order:

• Kenya.
  
• My oldest friend's very adorable 6 month old baby boy, who was diagnosed with infantile glaucoma and will have his first (of probably many) surgeries on Monday.
  
• The residents, organizations, and volunteers who continue to work hard to get the devastated New Orleans region back on its feet, two and a half years later. (Stole that from S., who is still actively involved - thanks, S.)
  
• My aunt, who underwent a bone biopsy to determine whether she has bone cancer in the midst of having pneumonia. She's a great no-nonsense lady who always hosts Thanksgiving dinner and her jello marshmallow salads are to die for... I like her a lot.
  
• The animals at the SF Zoo, who apparently keep having to deal with IDIOTS. Yeah, I said it.
  

And a bunch of other important things, but these are what came to mind tonight. I am dreading the third scary personally relevant situation that is inevitably coming my way. These things ALWAYS come in three's.

Early Friday five.

Five songs from the 70s that the guys should've gone with this week on American Idol, in no particular order:

• Hot Rod Lincoln
  
• Thank God I'm a Country Boy
• My Sharona
  
• Escape (The Pina Colada Song)
• Theme From Shaft

Bonus early Friday five - five songs from the 70s that the gals should've gone with this week on American Idol, in no particular order:

• Kung Fu Fighting
  
• Y.M.C.A.
  
• King Tut
  
• America ("TODAY!")
  
• Theme From Shaft
  

I mean, come on, guys and gals - show some range already.

________________
(Yes, it's that time again.)

Inching my way toward the 21st century...

Since I'm so unimpressed with Comcast I decided to set myself up with a Gmail account. This way, if I don't carry my cable service over when I move, I can still get emails.

I have to say, I'm pleased with the ease of importing emails from my Comcast inbox and automatically forwarding emails sent to my Comast inbox. I like the user interface Gmail provides. And my Gmail address is not a cryptic version of my name, it's actually my name with a relevant number at the end, which will not only be more meaningful to recruitment folks as I start to submit job applications via email, it will also remind you all of my birthday.

But there doesn't seem to be a way to add sender info to your contact list with the click of a button, which is a drag, and I DO NOT like that the sponsored ads are directly related to the content of the emails in my inbox. I know it's all automatic but it's still creepy. (If you know how to fix either of these, please comment.)

But I'm sure they will fine-tune all of this and soon Gmail air will be thinner and more streamlined than ever. Oh wait, am I mixing my technology?

Belated Friday five.

Five Oscar-themed food items I would have served at the Oscar party I almost invited you to, except that I'm still coughing up various lungs and have three papers to write and haven't cleaned my apartment in weeks, in no particular order:

• blood oranges (or alternately, red velvet cake)
• baby carrots (or alternately, Alaskan smoked salmon)
  
• Caribbean jerk tofu
• twigs and berries (or alternately, Alaskan smoked salmon)
• cheese (think I would attempt ratatouille? you must be crazy!)

Now taking bets on whether I cry my eyes out during the "tribute" segment of the show (or alternately, during Jon Stewart's performance).

In the valley of Oh. My. God.

In a last ditch effort to educationally cast my vote for the Oscars, which, by the way, you have until 4pm Sunday, February 24 to do... which is a full hour before the event actually starts, and which I can still win if I get the most answers right, because no other personal marketing efforts have indicated otherwise... :)

Tonight I coughed my way through another nominee.

I was originally drawn to this film because of Tommy Lee Jones, who I love unabashedly (um, I voluntarily watched Space Cowboys to view his presence and subsequently pronounced my love for this man, hello?).

But I really didn't grasp the extent of why I should love this film based on the very limited trailers - anti-Iraq? Susan Sarandon? Charlize Theron? James Franco? "Sleeper film"?

Let the record show, Oh, My God. See this movie. Holy freaking cow, this is a Bay Area viewer goldmine...

And I will leave it at that.. Vote, baby, vote! Movie passes are at stake!

Why YouTube is a good thing, exhibit #36.

There aren't a lot of reasons, but now and then you run across one. This is one of those times... This is another one.

And while we're ranting, who the hell is Pete?

I am soooooo with you, Con. (Well, on Comcast's frakking jackholedness, not the shoes - which are lovely on you, but which would make me topple over in a fit of clumsy imbalance.)

Why do new customers get cheap rates for 6 months and old customers get jacked up rates every year? Who do they think they are, the county tax assessor, for Pete's sake? And why do I keep PAYING them? Honestly, the only cable shows I regularly try to remember to watch anymore that I would not want to watch as a series on DVD, or that I cannot get on ye olde Interweb, are Ace of Cakes and Dirty Jobs. And 7 times out of 10, I forget to watch them.

For this I pay $60 a month? What is WRONG with me?

I'm not saying I don't enjoy a good Project Runway or America's Top Model marathon on the occasional Saturday, or that I don't get good tips from Ina Garten or Alton Brown now and then, or that the Roloff family has lost their charm. (I won't go into the Reba reruns and Hanna Montana episodes I get sucked into, or the number of times I have watched 28 Days or A Walk to Remember, because something ELSE is clearly wrong with me. No worries, though, I'm going to redeem myself with American Psycho tonight... which clearly means that there is yet something ELSE wrong with me... SIGH.)

I'm just saying that I have gotten spoiled with this concept of queuing up an entire season of, say, Planet Earth or The Closer, and being able to watch up to 12 commercial-free episodes in a row.

And I'm also saying that if I didn't have cable, I could put the money I saved toward sending my brother an Ace of Cakes cake birthday cake 10 months from now. Because yes, they are THAT DAMN EXPENSIVE.

That's all I'm saying.

And another entry for the "next time I complain about *my* life, remind me about..." file.

Holy cow.

HOLY. FREAKING. COW. (They're some variety of warts, but they look like tree branches. TREE. BRANCHES. HOLY. FREAKING. COW.)

I really wonder what other strange illnesses are out there, that will soon be brought to me by the Discovery Channel or The Learning Channel.

Wait - Anthony Hopkins as a creepy murderer? Get out!

Yeah, Ryan Gosling notwithstanding, it was not that good. I do not recommend the time suckage.

And in other news - WOW!! (And by the way, YAY!! This might actually happen.) Regardless, it's fixing to be a very interesting November.

Wow.

And the award for best use of silence in a film goes to...

... certainly not me, who coughed my way through a double feature this afternoon.

The Oaks Theater was showing Michael Clayton and The Diving Bell and the Butterfly back to back, and I could see them both for $12 (now how much would you pay!). Even though MC was on my "no thanks" list I figured $5 for 2 hours of George Clooney couldn't be a bad thing. Plus, Her Maj would NOT shut up this morning, I had a pile of work glaring at me that I desperately wanted to avoid, and I really needed to get out of the house.

I was pleasantly surprised with MC (as I was with The Departed last year), and while I will be shocked if MC wins any of the awards with the possible exception of Best Original Screenplay, Clooney's performance was stellar throughout and especially during the last ten minutes. In the last 90 seconds (watch through the initial credits) you could've heard a pin drop in the theater.

And it was a surprisingly easy transition between that and DBB, which was just plain lovely and heartbreaking and inspiring. Dear lord, if I *ever* complain about anything ever again, remind me of this man. Except for the imagination scenes, it was impossible to believe that any of them were acting, that they weren't just filming a documentary. (And by that I mean the kind of documentary where you can hear what he is saying to himself, in his head. You know.)

I think I got even sicker throughout the day, but if it saves me plowing through Variety.com, HollywoodReporter.com, the NYT Carpetbagger blog and Nikki Fincke's Deadline Hollywood (as my crazy friend who [used to have] too much time on his hands recommended in order to win the Oscar poll), well, it was time well spent.

There will be blood. (Lots and lots and lots of blood.)

I saw American Psycho when it came out in 2000. I totally got Fight Club, released a year prior. Damn skippy, I was not my fucking khakis.

At the time, I did not get American Psycho. At. ALL. (Other than, hmm, Christian Bale is hot.) But I ran across the book at Powell's earlier this week, and it was on sale, so I figured I'd give it a go. After all, the author wrote Less Than Zero, and I got that movie. And it had "international best seller" on the cover, which meant it was surely worth my $8.

(My marketing teacher would be so unimpressed with me falling for such an elementary ploy.)

The rawness of it drew me in completely - I could not put it down. I think I get it now. The excess of the late '80s, obsession with everything money can buy, boredom from a boring job, frustration with being utterly indistinguishable from your peers, thinking that Genesis (sans Peter Gabriel) and Huey Lewis and the News were the greatest bands ever. Just the latter would turn me into a serial killer, for sure. But there's a lot more to it, and I would really like my future book club to dissect it. But first I want to watch the movie again.

(All of which is not to say, oh boo hoo you rich yuppie, so bored with life and your rich girlfriend and your $500 nightly dinners and your 2-hour daily workouts that you have to resort to torture to entertain yourself.)

And I did finally see the actual movie noted in the subject. I enjoyed it very much. My friend (who did not enjoy the film) was somewhat appalled when I laughed out loud at inappropriate times, like when DD-L's character was talking to the oil tycoon in the restaurant and he says "One night, I'm gonna come inside your house, wherever you're sleeping, and I'm gonna cut your throat." Or the very last line of the film. His behavior was so ridiculous I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

Now, if only I could bear the thought of sitting through The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, In the Valley of Elah, Eastern Promises, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Charlie Wilson's War, Away from Her, Atonement, Michael Clayton, The Bourne Ultimatum, American Gangster, The Golden Compass, Transformers (REALLY??), 3:10 to Yuma and the third Pirate movie over the next seven days, I could actually make educated guesses for ye olde annual Oscar poll. Alas.

I do want to see everything up to Atonement (but nothing further than Atonement, including Atonement) in that list. Right after I get "The Heart of Rock 'n Roll" out of my head...

Pre-Friday five.

Five actual reasons why I am moving to Portland (now that I have visited, whereas before it was speculation), in no particular order:

• The transit system? ROCKS. $4.25 gets you all day access to ALL the light rail trains (which run from the airport to a lot of other places), ALL the buses (of which there are many) and ALL the streetcars (all two of them). ALL DAY. LESS THAN $5. For reference, take a one-way ride from SFO to Berkeley on your friendly BART train. Or use this example: it cost me $6.25 just to get home from the airport via public transportation (bus - rail- bus). And my money was only good for one ride on each of those.
  
• Oh and also, the bus drivers are soooooo nice. I made it a silent mission to find a mean bus driver but there were none to be found, even in the Tenderloin-y parts of town.
  
• The brewpubs? ROCK. I am not even a huge fan of beer, but I fell in love with my new best friend the Great Divide Oak-Aged Yeti (from Denver, but I had it in Portland)... at least I think that was it. After a couple, who can remember the name? But every one of the pubs we visited had locally grown ingredients, and that just might be reason #3.5.
  
• The Hawthorne District? ROCKS. A Parkway-like theater, a couple music venues, a lot of coffee shops and bars and restaurants and a Noah's and a Fred Meyer. Now how much would you pay... Not to say that the NE and the NW aren't cool as well. Just a little too much like where I live now, and the whole point of this is change, right?
  
• The weather? My kind of weather. Cloudy, overcast, cold, now and then a drizzle, now and then an hour-long shower, and then the sun comes out for a little while and goes back in. Much like Colorado weather.
  

And, of course, assuming I get a decent paying job... the price is so very right. I looked inside a couple of apartments and looked at the outsides/surrounding neighborhoods of a LOT of apartments, and yeah. The price is right.

No pun intended, but...

... there's a cat at the volunteer place who's been there for almost 5 months. (The longest I've seen any other cat in the adoption area was 3 months, I think.) Allegedly, she is somewhat docile in her cage but turns feral when you try to pick her up, so she hardly ever gets socialized, which means that she will have a very difficult time finding a home. (The notes on the clipboard on her cage are not encouraging to adoptees either - "experienced cat people only," etc.)

She is now my pet project. I spent a bit of time with her this evening while she was "behind bars," and not once did she emanate any feral tendencies. So after we played through the bars for a while, I told her that I would make it my job over the next two months to get her out and about, even if it means some scratches and bites along the way. If she stays in the cage she will never be adoptable...

It doesn't hurt her case that she shares the same name as Her Majesty. It also doesn't hurt that I seem to have cat pheromones in my blood. No kidding - I have never met a cat who wasn't 100% comfortable around me. (OK, well except that one cat the other week who seemed to be high on meth amphetamines and no one could go near her, but otherwise...)

Normal people might be alarmed at the prospect of attracting cats everywhere they go. But hey, they're furry and warm, and they're all about unconditional love. And especially on a day like today, you takes what you gets.

Enjoy your warm (with or without fur) S.O.s today. Her Maj and I will do the same.

________________

Let the record show that I will never, ever adopt a kitten again. Not only are there too many sweet older cats who wait and wait for adoption who - GASP AND SWOON - actually GET ALONG with other cats (ahem, Her Majesty, yes they exist) - but a mere five minutes in a room with one tonight reminded me that kittens are too damn much work.

OK, end of CCL post for now.

Observations.

Absinthe tasting night followed by a 7 hour class on marketing featuring a very energetic instructor who constantly refers to your organization's widely acknowledged brand identity and marketing angles, does not a happy Jen(n) make.

But the nap immediately following class? GOLDEN.

I sure have a lot of crap to get rid of before I move. Anybody need a desk? Red corduroy chair? Really used dining set with only two chairs? Too big for me clothes that, come hell or high water, will never fit me again because I am going to stay in shape dammit I am?

(I'm also appalled at the sheer number of pens I have accumulated in the past few years - need a pen? Or 14?)

I am kinda keen on this idea of a studio apartment and far less stuff than I have now. I do admit that a large, yet reasonably priced, one-bedroom apartment has been very nice to me and Her Majesty for the past three years, and it would really be cool to have an official crafting area in my abode at some point... But I think I'm gonna go small to start. Maybe the rest will come with the house I am destined to buy in Portland.

The Wire is a really, really good show, and I don't even usually like shows like that. As is Iconoclasts, if I haven't already mentioned that. Which I have - Ed Vedder and surfing legend Laird Hamilton? WOW. (Shameless plug - now available on iTunes! For REALLY CHEAP!) Season 2 also features Alice Waters interviewing Mikhail Baryshnikov and vice-versa, and the following other interview pairs: Maya Angelou and Dave Chappelle, Quentin Tarantino and Fiona Apple, Lorne Michaels and Paul Simon (which is particularly interesting when it gets to the discussion about 9/11)... Anyway - sheer genius. I want to work for Sundance someday. Season 3 features Mike Myers and Deepak Chopra - can you imagine?? Check it out.

And Oregon is one of the few remaining states that doesn't let you pump your own gas, and that doesn't have sales tax. The next week should be interesting as I try to remember that. But it might be a good angle to pitch to the folks when (and if) I tell them I'm moving up there, and they should consider it. They'll eat that stuff up.

Thank you, Jackie Moon.

Even if it was for the world's worst beer ever, it helps me rag even more on the LOSER. Tom Brady - suck one. Ha-ha!

OK, off to write a paper on how to revise legislation for nonprofits as it relates to interested parties. Sigh. Three more of these classes, and you can stick a fork in me.

The agony and the irony.

I made too much money last year to deduct my certificate program tuition (assuming I can even do that for non-university courses)... and I didn't give enough away to charities to deduct that either. AND I did something strange on my W2 when I started the new job, so I wasn't having enough taxes deducted throughout the year and now I owe a lot of money.

Get bent, tax man.

Public service announcement.

I confess that I am posting this without doing 100% of the research on this issue, simply because someone else I trust did 100% of the research and sent me the information. And also, simply because I can't believe we are still conducting aerial pesticide spraying in this country at all. Really? Has technology not advanced far enough to prevent this need?

STOP AERIAL PESTICIDE SPRAYING!
The California Department of Food and Agriculture (CDFA) has announced plans to resume aerial pesticide spraying for the Light Brown Apple Moth (LBAM) in summer of 2008. The campaign began in 2007 in Santa Cruz and Monterey counties using a synthetic pheromone along with other chemicals encased in microscopic plastic capsules. CDFA will expand the program to the San Francisco Bay Area with plans to continue spraying each month for up to 5 years or indefinitely until the moth is eradicated.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE LBAM SPRAYING?
1) Hundreds of people in Santa Cruz and Monterey County have reported adverse health reactions. The spray has not been tested for long-term human toxicity and is being applied in microscopic plastic capsules that could pose inhalation risks.

2) The spray contains ingredients that are highly toxic to aquatic species, as well as surfactants, that might have contributed to algae bloom (red tide) and the drowning of hundreds of waterfowl.

3) Biologists agree that the spraying - an outdated, unsustainable, expensive pest control method - will not eradicate the moth. The CDFA should switch to a control vs. an eradication program using least-toxic methods that farmers already apply, e.g. pheromone traps or sticky ties.

4) CDFA itself says the moth has done no crop damage in California to date. Priority must be given to public and environmental health and safety over speculative economic loss.

5) The aerial spray program disproportionately impacts vulnerable segments of the population, including those with the recognized disability of multiple chemical sensitivity, who are in many cases forced to relocate, and the homeless, who have no option to protect themselves from spraying.

[Ed. note: it's also a really cute little moth! I love moths.]

More information that has been vetted by scientists and other activists.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

• Sign the petition at www.stopthespray.org, get informed and become active!
• Contact the media: newspapers, weeklies, radio and television stations - voice your concern.
• Ask Governor Schwarzenegger and CDFA Secretary Kawamura to stop the spray program and shift to sustainable methods of least-toxic pest control.
• Ask your Assemblymember to support proposed legislation to stop spraying without consent and safety data and to do whatever they can to stop the spraying until legislation can be passed.
• Ask your federal Congressional representatives and Senators to tell USDA to support safe pest control and to lift the USDA quarantine of California crops from areas where the light brown apple moth has been found.

Lo and behold, an actual Friday five.

Five questions I am growing weary of answering despite the fact that each time I am asked I get more and more excited about this decision, and their answers, in no particular order:

• Q: Why Portland? A: Varies among the following... I've always wanted to spend a good chunk of time there... I'm tired of sun... I'm tired of it taking me 30 minutes to drive .15 miles... Everyone I know thinks I would love it there... To borrow a quote from a friend, I want to live in a small town without having to live in a damn small town... Whaddya mean - why not Portland?
  
• Q: Do you have a job there? A: Not yet. I'm going to start looking in February (ack, which is officially now!), but to be honest, I would be happy and financially comfortable working at Peets for a few months while I figure it all out.
• Q: Are you going to apply for a job with [current organization]'s Portland affiliate? A: I will be more than happy to volunteer with [current organization]'s Portland affiliate, but no, I am not seeking employment with them. I am, however, looking into [previous organization]'s job postings. Could be an easy in for the first year while I figure it all out.
  
• Q: Do you know anyone there/Do you have a lot of friends there/Do you have family there? A: I know one person there. I know a lot of people who are planning to visit! I knew no one when I moved to the Bay Area, and that's worked out pretty well so far.
  
• Q (more of a statement): It rains a lot there. A (more of a response): Varies among the following... I like rain... Really? I had no idea!... Yes, I am aware - but the other 7 months are lovely... Not as much as Seattle!
  

I've gotten mixed reactions about the "do you have a job yet" question. I guess in some peoples' opinions, it's slightly inappropriate for an established 33 year old professional to pack up and fly by the seat of her pants - this privilege seems to be reserved for 23 year olds. And in other peoples' opinions, they are incredibly jealous of my lack of ties/mortgage/kids and my ability to just pack up and fly by the seat of my pants - these are the people I will likely keep in touch with.

This weekend I think I'm going to share the news with my parents. I've been dreading this immensely. I fear that Mom will cry because I'm not announcing that I'm moving back east. What she doesn't know is that this is a mid-step before that decision (which is possibly inevitable) - if I move to Portland, and end up moving back east, even temporarily, I will know whether Portland is worth going back for.

But don't tell Mom any of that.