People who have way too much time on their hands.

I'm sure that by now, most of you have heard about this list. I'm also quite certain that hits being generated to this list are from people who cannot believe such a list exists, and therefore they must check it out themselves. (I am one of those people.)

So not only is George Michael gay, he's also a - GASP AND SWOON - Texan! I'm not sure what Jared Leto's band is doing on the list (nor Bright Eyes or the ladies' man Barry Manilow either, for that matter), but I can already see Kathy Griffin using the fact that Clay Aiken made the list in her next act.

Not surprisingly, the "safe band" list is much smaller. Also not surprisingly, I have heard of none of the bands/musical acts save one - Ms. Cyndi Lauper, who once promoted "girls having fun" in various ways, oh and also she performed in the last season of Queer as Folk. And isn't it ironic.

I also learned today that in 2005, Congress and the President approved a bill to extend Daylight Saving Time by two months in an effort to save energy. This goes into effect this year. "The Secretary of Energy will report the impact of this change to Congress. Congress retains the right to resume the 2005 Daylight Saving Time schedule once the Department of Energy study is complete."

Because, yunno, heaven forbid we enforce other environmental regulations that would save more energy than this.

Now taking bets on the amount of money the "report" and subsequent Congress deliberations will cost, and how much farther the polar icecaps will melt off while our fine representatives debate the merits of one more hour of sunlight each day for one month a year.

I failed calculus in high school...

... but I rented Proof anyway, on a friend's recommendation (which was, basically, "how bad could 2 hours of Jake Gyllenhaal be?"). All she really had to say was that Hope Davis was a supporting actress and it would've been in my queue, Jake or no Jake.

I was pleasantly surprised with the movie. Normally I'm not a big Gwenyth fan, but she gave an outstanding performance.

Overall, though, I think my appreciation of the film came from the plot. Most of the [four] people who read this have reached the age where we are beginning to take care of our parents, and perhaps are in a stage where we still think we know more than they do and yet we still have so much to learn, much of it from them. In that regard, the story was really quite touching.

Speaking of all that... My mom has her final knee surgery tomorrow. Send a happy thought her way, won't you?

It's no liger, but...

This is one of the most gawky-yet-adorable creatures I've seen in a while. More here, and here, and here. Even Her Majesty was enthralled.

This post brought to you by The Band.

Up on Little Carson Creek Falls, frogs breeding

Rain then sun then rainbow, crazy weather - so misleading!


The most unusual rocks, their colors gleaming
Nice way to spend a Sunday, if I ever do say...

When I get off of this mountain
You know where I want to go
Straight down the Golden Gate Bridge
To a place called Destino...

(Thus ends the month of birthday celebrations.)

"If you're asking me what vibe I'm gonna lay down it's gonna be very much just a 'chill out, let's get to know each other' type of vibe."

I had (what hopes to be) the last one-on-one meeting with my "manager" yesterday, and he was asking me about what I'll be doing in the new job. So I started to tell him, and he went off on his own stories for about 15 minutes, and as he was talking it occurred to me that he IS David Brent.

Exhibit A, the subject line.

Exhibit B: "Some people are intimidated when talking to large numbers of people in an entertaining way. Not me."

Exhibit C: "I'm already exploring the entertainment avenue with my management training, but I'd like to do that on a global scale really. "

Exhibit D: "When people say to me: would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss? My answer's always the same, to me, they're not mutually exclusive."

He even looks a little like David Brent, which I also observed yesterday as he was going on and on about himself.

But in all fairness, also like David Brent, he's not a bad guy. He means well. He's just a terrible manager.

"I've always been intrigued by the letter Q."

I recently had the pleasure of watching two fascinating documentaries about word obsession.

Word Play made me want to do a New York Times crossword puzzle - even though they are incredibly difficult (even the Monday ones, to my wee little brain) and even though the puzzle creators apparently like to fuck with you - simply because Bill Clinton and Jon Stewart do them.

Word Wars made me want to play Scrabble, even though the movie only featured regular people and not Adam Horovitz (an avid Scrabbler).

The films highlighted several puzzlers and Scrabblers, and I could see how some people might find these folks... er... weird, to say the least. Their brains think in ways I cannot even begin to imagine, and they spend HOURS every day doing this stuff.

I didn't find them weird, but I did wonder about their mental stability at certain points, due in large part to nervous tics and Maalox-guzzling and things like that. My viewpoint changed completely when a former national champion of the annual crossword puzzle competition described how one of her boyfriends used to give her a hard time about doing crossword puzzles, and she finally retorted, "yeah, well what have you ever been the national champion at?"

Right on, sister. Wordies unite!

Were you aware...?

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. customer service rep at Blockbuster Video
2. babysitter for Satan's offspring
3. waitress
4. office monkey

Four movies I have watched over and over:
1. Princess Bride
2. Breakfast Club
3. Muppet Movie
4. Home for the Holidays

Four places I have lived
1. suburban Maryland
2. suburban Colorado
3. urban California
4. redneck hills of southern Virginia

Four TV shows I like to watch:
1. Roseanne reruns
2. Daily Show
3. Good Eats
4. VH1's "I Love the" anything

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Belize
2. Australia
3. 12 western European countries in 7 minutes
4. Alaska

Four of my favorite foods:
1. pizza
2. cheese
(do I really need two more?)

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. in my warm bed
2. on a warm beach
3. in a warm car
4. sitting on THE SUN

Yeah, it's still freezing in my apartment. STILL.

It's funny 'cause it's true.

This hit a little too close to home. But then I reconsidered, and decided that it's just damn funny. Kind of like when you think about what "S.W.A.G." is actually an acronym for, and how people take those numbers as the gospel too.

It's a nice day to start again.

I go from excited, to scared to death, to excited, to planning exact details of how I will do things and how I will communicate, to excited, to feeling incredibly anxious about the change and hoping that everything will work out after the initial shock wears off all around.

I feel like I'm about to get married.

Belated Friday five.

Five things that make a good birthday, in no particular order:

• Do something outdoorsy. (Ran 7 miles. Check.)
• Eat good food ...
  
• ... and drink mimosas ...
  
• ... with good friends. (Brunch at the Claremont. Check.)
• Take a nap with Her Majesty. (Much needed after good food and mimosas. Check.)
  

File under: recently viewed.

You may have noticed that I've been on a Hollywood movie kick lately, just to see what all the fuss has been about. Not much, turns out.

• The Devil Wears Prada: don't get me wrong, I do love Meryl Streep (present movie excluded) but seriously, she won the Golden Globe over Annete Bening in Running with Scissors? That's just wrong on so many levels.
  
• Rumor Has It: the entire premise was ridiculous, but I MAYBE would've bought it had it ended when she goes to his door and he opens it and... it leaves you hanging as to what happens. (Happy endings = BAH.)
  

We now return me to my regularly scheduled indie depressing flicks.

Just call me Mrs. Roper.

Ever since the last upstairs neighbor moved out a few weeks ago, I've heard lots of noise from the new tenants. Last night was the final straw though - starting around 10pm, continuing until about 3am, there were tons of people laughing, shrieking, going to and from the balcony to chain-smoke and talk loudly. I was able to fall asleep around 11pm, but woke up at 12:30am and couldn't go back to sleep until I finally blared Ben Gibbard's voice in my ears.

This morning, I found cigarette butts and trash on my balcony, and a bunch more where that came from on the ground below our apartments. Call me naive but I just don't get how people can be that inconsiderate and oblivious to those around them.

On second thought, Mrs. Roper probably wouldn't have minded the absolute mayhem that occurred in the apartment above me last night. "Oh STAN-ley, they're just kids." So, just call me Mr. Roper.

Hmmm... I'm also incredibly cheap. Perhaps I should invest in a broomstick with which to pound on the ceiling, and also some leisure suits...

Public service announcement.

Sayid from Lost, Prairie Dawn from Sesame Street, and Horatio from Hamlet would all be acceptable "awards" (e.g. "The Sayid Award") for your level-headed friends.

Forget cell phones... What the hell did we ever do without Google, anyway?

Not even close to halfway to Friday five.

Five TV-related pet peeves, in no particular order:

1. Comcast's TV listings section doesn't remember my ZIP code even though I've entered it nine million times.
2. Every time I go to Comcast's TV listings I sing that annoying tune, "I wonder what's on TV toniiiiiiight," that Live 105 uses to prequel any TV promos for the evening.
3. Nothing is on TV on Monday nights.
4. Tim Goodman.
   
5. That *I* don't get paid to watch crappy TV and blog about it.

I agree - it probably is the "worst date movie of all time."

Exhibits Michael, Chris, Kenny and Izzy of why I will never marry. The worst part is that it's a remake of an Italian movie, and it was so much like High Fidelity (written by a Brit) that it was ridiculous... which just proves that men all over the world are stupid.

Otherwise, I regret to inform you that I actually liked the movie... the actors did a very good job and it didn't seem too far from realistic.

I don't get the young-girl obsession with Zach Braff though. He's really not all that.

Public service announcement.

The Shins on SNL. Tonight. Be there or be square.

In other news - I can't possibly wear any more clothing layers at the same time and still be a functioning member of society. Therefore, I will be in hibernation under my down comforter until the weather gets a little warmer.

Commerical break.

I found this while looking through old photos of my first cross-country road trip. Taken somewhere between Montana, Washington, Oregon, SF, LA, Texas and Kansas...

Yeah, we took the "jagged line" approach to cross-country trips that year. It was quite a trip, 11K miles and 30 states in 3.5 weeks. Worth every minute.

Why I'm still single, exhibit #685.

My brother sent me this link to a site that lets you download and play Coleco Vision games. Those of you slightly senior folks who grew up in the Atari age probably won't appreciate this as much as I do. When I was a kid, Coleco Vision was the cat's meow. The bee's knees. THE video game system to have.

I'm embarrassed to admit how much time I spent on that damn thing between the ages of nine and twelve. Suffice it to say, when I started playing Donkey Kong Jr this evening, I immediately remembered the music for the second level right before it started. (I scored 71,100 my first time playing that game in almost 20 years, thank you very much.)

My favorite game when I was young was Zaxxon, a flying shooting game that was quite difficult for me. I remember it being very high-tech and graphically amazing. The coolest part was that you had to remember to use the up arrow to go down, and vice versa - just like a real plane! (Hey, I was ten.) And you were lucky if you made it to the big bad spaceship, which I called Zaxxon even though I'm not sure what the name "Zaxxon" actually referred to.

I started to play that after all my Donkey Kong Jrs died, and I only made it to 9600. I just couldn't get past how totally elementary it looks now. OK, and also, honestly it's still a hard game to play. I mean, gorillas wearing diapers trying to save their gorilla dads by climbing chains and avoiding snapping mouths is one thing. Flying through the air trying to remember that up is down and down is up, while avoiding horizontal and vertical missles, while on a quest for the Big Bad - that's on another level altogether.

So yes, folks, this is how I will be spending my evening. It's Netflix's fault - they're late with my next two installments of entertainment.

OOOH! It comes with Frogger! Doo doo doo do do, do, doo doo doo do do, do, doo doo doo do do, do, doo doo doo, SQUASH!

I gave them the college try, I really did.

But I just couldn't watch more than 30 minutes of Wedding Crashers or The Break-Up. Normally I don't enjoy this type of romantic comedy, so I'm not surprised that I had to turn these off. But I really think my distaste for these in particular is because I'm 100% anti-Vince Vaughn.

I can only hope that my disgust for him has nothing to do with Jennifer Aniston and that whole debacle, which I read about in Star and Us Weekly on the elliptical at the gym.

I'm pretty sure that it's just that he's an ass. The only movie in which I have ever truly enjoyed his performance was Clay Pigeons. Rent it.

On the upside - literally - 49 Up was pretty interesting.

But I waaaaaaaaaaaaaant it!!!

Oh. My. God.

Curse you, Steve Jobs. Curse you and the horse you rode in on.

"I don't have the stress and spite for my fellow coworkers anymore!"

That was a line from an IM chat I had with a friend today, who recently changed jobs. Her words... that I will begin practicing tomorrow once I hear the official, final confirmation after a long and marvelous chain of events.

Ah yes, the old "starving children in Ethiopia" rationale.

I've been running my heat since 3pm. It's a crappy little space heater that only heats the area directly in front of it, but dammit, I've been cold since Friday morning. Some people don't even have heat! Why shouldn't I enjoy mine?

I am behind in just about everything, due in large part to a wedding-gift-excursion that turned from a 45-minute errand into a four hour ordeal. As a result, I can either ignore the last four episodes of The Office that I have to watch before I can return the DVD, or I can be diligent, take care of my extracurricular activities in a timely fashion, and watch the DVD tomorrow night.

Guess which option I'm choosing.

Hey - some people don't even have DVD players! Why shouldn't I enjoy mine?

Make mine green, thanks.

Last Thursday night I was enjoying a little Hokie wine, compliments of my brother, and watching Grey's Anatomy. There were several conversations around being the "ham" vs being the "egg." In case you're not familiar with this term, being the "ham" means that you're fully committed to something (as in, the pig had to die to produce the ham). Whereas, being the "egg" means you're not really that committed to something (as in, chickens can lay an egg and go about their day).

I am the first to admit that I'm the "egg" at work. No surprises there. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I'm the "egg" in many other areas of my life. I have about nineteen half-read books on my dresser, I give the dating search a half-assed try every now and then yet complain about being single more often than not, after two years I finally figured out what to do with the space over my bed and even bought the materials - which are still in the bag on my kitchen table... The only things I've been the "ham" about recently have been plowing through various TV shows on DVD. (I'm even an "egg" when it comes to watching the damn shows when they first air - so much easier just to wait for the DVDs to be released.)

All this is OK with me, though - after all, I'm a vegetarian!

________________
Speaking of eggs - next time you have a little extra cottage cheese in your refrigerator, throw a tablespoon of it into your scrambled eggs while they're cooking. You won't be sorry.

"Let's start with ridiculous and work backwards."

It had a happy ending. I hate happy endings. Especially when they're as predictable as this one.

Otherwise though, entertaining.

Thank God they don't read this.

In case you question my sentiment that my parents (namely, my father) are nuts. Or that they just don't have enough time on their hands.

(OK. This mouse totally cracked me up. If only I were this creative... though I did bring home two perfectly intact walnut half-shells with which to craft a personalized "retired nuts" plaque for them for next year's Christmas gift.)

We were "LYLAS"s waaaaaaaay before BFFs were cool.

My friendship with my oldest friend is old enough to drink. I can't believe I've known someone who is not related to me for 21 years.

Here's to good friends, tonight is kinda special...

Oh and also??? Why the hell do I have to go to College Park, Maryland to get good vegetarian General Tso's Chicken? My kingdom for a lead on the Left Coast. The one I found in downtown Oaktown was inedible.

"It's a free ride when you've already paid..."

"Jolie and Pitt, who have been raising awareness about poverty during their stay, have been residing in the luxury Four Seasons hotel on the Papagayo peninsula with their three children Maddox, 5; Zahara, 23 months; and Shiloh, 6 months, nanny and personal chef since last Friday."

"Float. Just float."

This year was truly Home for the Holidays. Normally I watch that movie every Thanksgiving and Christmas to remind myself that other people's families are just as nuts as mine. This year I didn't have to watch the movie - I LIVED THE MOVIE.

My parents are getting crazier by the minute, what with all the spending time together nonstop and not ever leaving the house. My uncles and aunts are apparently also insane, my brother is ever the wisecracker.

The best part was that my own personal "Russell Terziak"* actually called me on Friday. I was sitting in the living room watching TV, the phone rang, my dad got up to answer it, and came in holding the phone out to me, saying "it's Russell Terziak." Stomach dropping. Last person on earth I want to talk to. SIGH. "Um. Yeah, Russell. I'll call you tomorrow. We'll have lunch. It'll be greeeaaaat."

(OOPS! I didn't call. Oh well.)

The strangest part is that every time I go home, everything shrinks. It seems impossible to me that I could actually walk, live, function in my old room - even with the suitcase moved out of the way I was still tripping over furniture. My street seemed smaller, my elementary school looked visibly smaller, even the backyard and the strip mall on the corner were teeny.

It's not like I hadn't been there since I was 7 years old. I lived there through college, same size as I am now, more or less, and I didn't have these issues.

It's the opposite of this. Only without the elephant.

________________
* Check the quotes on IMDB if you haven't seen the movie... Yeah. It was like that.

... and a happy new year.

Band of Brothers DVD set for my dad - $59.00.

Three "rare" Simpsons collectables for my bro - $42.00.

Two Anita Shreve books for my mom - $12.00.

Beating my brother at Trivial Pursuit: 90's - PRICELESS.