Nowhere near Friday five.

Five airplane etiquette rules, in no particular order:

• The aisle is not a bar and this is not happy hour... particularly when it's a four hour flight. Please sit down and be quiet.
  
• Chatting loudly (while seated across from each other) about how rude it is for others to stand in the aisle and chat loudly like they're at happy hour, is just as rude.
• Don't start the sudoku game in the in-flight magazine unless you plan to finish it. (Attn: me.)
• Use your seat's arms to help you stand up, not the back of the seat in front of you. Your triceps will get a nice workout and the passenger in row ahead won't be rudely awakened whenever you have to pee.
• Every time you slam your tray table up or down, or type fervently on your laptop which is sitting on your tray table, a puppy dies. It's true. A CUTE LITTLE PUPPY. Be gentle, people.

(Now get off my lawn?)