"So look, I don't hate children. I don't know how that rumor started."

I stole that from a David Cross bit, where he goes on to describe his friends who've had children and how their most interesting stories revolve around their children staring at grapes.

I actually love the offspring of my friends. They are adorable and charming, and they do far more interesting things than stare at grapes. Like make pirate faces on command, or sit contently in my arms for many minutes at a time, or finally giggle at me after many encounters of shyness over almost two years.

The children I do not enjoy are the ones who throw temper tantrums at airports.

Grocery stores and toy stores I totally get and support, at least to some degree. But airports? Really? I get airplanes - the ear pressure and turbulence and bumpy landings and scary mean flight attendants and no food and all - and I have no beefs whatsoever about kids screaming their lungs out on airplanes - but airports?

I had one of those last night out of Oakland. Someone's 3(ish)-year-old ran around the terminal for 20 minutes pre-boarding screaming "BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET ON THE AIRPLANE!!!!!!!!!!" at the top of her lungs. Yeah, we don't want you to either, kid, I kept thinking. The older gentleman in line next to me saw my scrunched up face and said, "oh, but they're not always like that," to which I instinctively replied, "maybe so, but I still don't want any," to which he replied, "oh, but it's so rewarding, I have 4 grandchildren, wouldn't trade them for the world, [blah blah blah]," at which point I felt bad for being a grouch...

And then 30 seconds later I heard a couple my age a few feet ahead of me (who could not have possibly heard my conversation with Grandpa over the 3-yr-old tantrum) say "wow I am so glad we agreed not to have kids." And then I didn't feel so bad.

However! A brand-new online community that I am happy to promote has made me see the light. Temper tantrum advice here. Some of this is funny, some is sarcastic, some is spot on. And there is much more life enriching advice throughout the site. Including consumer electric advice! Now how much would you pay?

I've been a Dooce fan ever since I learned you could get fired from writing about your job on the Internet (she did - I aspire not to, though I'm sure I'm capable of doing so if my intentions were good). Her daily creativity, whether it be humor or photography or design or people-interactions, inspires me. She and her husband approach parenthood, and life, and married life with the same gusto-coupled-with-world-weariness that I expect I would in that situation. (And she mocks Mormonism. I mean, come on. You've gotta love her just for that.)

So, please click away and enjoy, and rack up the ads for her... Because I haven't bought any of her books yet and I feel a little guilty about that. Dooce and I thank you in advance.