Belated Friday five.

This feels like a deja vu post, but five things I will not miss about being home, in no particular order:

• Dial-up internet access.
• Washing the dishes before I put them in the dishwasher.
• Calling to report my whereabouts every two hours.
• All the damn Bush bumper stickers.
• Not being able to buy wine at the drugstore.

All in all the trip was OK. I didn't plan in advance, so I spent way too much time cooped up with my parents,* all my visits with friends were somewhat rushed and I didn't get to see my extended family.

On the plus side, I did run about 30 miles throughout the week simply because the treadmill was an easy escape from the nitpicking questions (which Mom would ask, and then Dad would walk into the room and repeat a few seconds later) about every little thing I was reading or watching or eating or thinking. And I am now officially hooked on Guitar Hero, courtesy of my brother.

Next year if I go home I'm making an hour-by-hour schedule... Or staying at a hotel. Or taking some crack with me.

________________
* I spent this past Thanksgiving with a friend and his family, and the drama factor was so low that I forgot to detox by watching the movie I watch every single Thanksgiving and Christmas. I actually remembered the next day, put it in and got distracted so I never finished watching it. This past Christmas day, though? I was jonesing for it sooooo bad. Float. Just float.

"My precious time keeps slippin' past."

Even though parking is free at work, I try to take the bus at least once a week. It's a 5-minute walk from where I get off to the office, and if I'm early I can stop by Whole Paycheck and get a fresh bagel or latte. It's hard to be early, though, when the bus is constantly 20 minutes late. I really don't understand how that works because my bus line only RUNS every 20 minutes... So does another bus show up right after the bus I get on?

This morning I waited patiently for 20 minutes in the freezing cold* and just as my toes became frostbitten and I was about to cross the street, head back to my garage and get into my car... the bus arrived. Environmental duty of the day done.

Speaking of public transport. I fly home Saturday night, and I'd offered to spare my parents the trouble of picking me up at Far Far Away Land Airport in the wee hours of the morning by saying I would take the bus to the Metro and they could pick me up at the stop closest to them around 8:30am. The bus didn't even start running until 7am and this whole process was going to take me about 3 hours. So of course, secretly I was hoping they would say, "oh, nonsense, we'll pick you up at Far Far Away Land Airport, don't be silly," but instead I got "OK sounds good, call us when you're 3 stops away." Guess they finally caught on to all the Guess jeans and video games I insisted on having as a child, and for that I can't blame them.

I got a shocking call from my mom this afternoon. She said, "call your brother, he wants to pick you up at the airport on Sunday morning." I said, "does he know I'm getting in at 5:45am? And that it's Far Far Away Land Airport, not 15 Minutes Away Airport?" She said, "yes he does, now call him and say thank you." I said, "do I really have to call him?"

I never, ever talk to my brother on the phone. Occasionally I get a random email or text message from him, or vice versa, but rarely do we actually have a conversation unless we're in the same room. So I called him, and I said, "hello, this is your sister," and we proceeded to have a hilarious conversation and made plans to play Guitar Hero (awwwwwyeah!) and make homemade pizza while I'm home, and he really truly is going to pick me up on Sunday morning because I'm "already going out of my way to come home, why should it have to involve a bus and the Metro in addition to a six hour flight."

Of course, he is still my brother who has trouble waking up before 10am if his life depends upon it, so I'm taking all the bus-to-Metro info just in case, but still... He really surprises me sometimes.

Happy holidays to you and your crazy families this season.

________________
* HA! I thought this morning was cold? Wait till I hit 35 degrees on the lovely east coast!

Never thought I would say this...

... but I wish I lived in West Hollywood. Or at least, that I lived there last Monday. Have I mentioned that I {heart} Joseph Gordon-Levitt? (Recently, I mean?)

Short commutes are dangerous to my ongoing mental health.

You know how they say that if you can't get to sleep after trying for at least 30 minutes, you should get up and do something else, and that you shouldn't do anything other than sleep in your bed because it encourages sleeplessness if it's not your "100% pure place o'sleep"?

In my previous job I had to commute about 60 minutes round trip once or twice a week (luckily, in reverse traffic). In the "going" portion of the commute, I listened to either Plans, Transatlanticism, Oh! Inverted World, Chutes Too Narrow (the four albums I bothered to put on cassette tape since I don't have a CD player in the car), or my iPod on complete shuffle when I remembered to bring it with me. In the "return" portion, I listened to The Crane Wife and talked to myself about the joyous crises of the day and how I really, really, really needed to find a new job. (And cursed California drivers, of course.) It was therapeutic.

My commute is now 5 minutes each day. When I get home I usually spend the first 2 hours unwinding and talking to myself about the crises du jour/week and how I should've could've would've handled them better. And then I stew for another hour until I find some distraction, which usually ends up being something crafty, a TV series on DVD, a writing project, or a glass (or three) of wine. Or a combination of any/all of those things.

In some cases this is good because I am learning from my mistakes and I am definitely employing those learnings going forward. In most cases this means I never really escape from work.

I need a longer commute. Maybe I should've agreed to that second interview in Mountain View...

I will survive.

It's been a while since I've done a meme, and I saw one on a friend's blog recently, so I figured, what the heck. Apparently, each of the Survivor contestants have to fill out a questionnaire and they get asked the same questions each year, presumably to figure out where their weaknesses lay so that everyone else can tempt them with cocoa and fresh avocados and peanut butter and whatever.

I don't ever watch Survivor, ever (no patience) but I'm a sucker for a meme so here goes... Ironically, there's no "books/music you would want on a desert island." Guess I'll save that for a Friday five someday soon.

FAVORITES:

• Colors: sky blue, sunset pink (only in actual sunsets), any shade of green... and of course, black.
  
• Scents: the smell of bread baking, cinnamon, fresh coffee, sawdust, freshly cut grass.
  
• Flowers: any that are still in the ground.
  
• Board Games: Risk, Monopoly, Scrabble... I'm old school.
  
• Video/Computer Games: other than the pirate game on Facebook I don't play these things, unless you count the re-enactments of Coleco Vision's Zaxxon and Donkey Kong that my brother ran across a while back.
  
• Sports to play: flag football, long distance running (which I *will* get back into, I *will*).
  
• Sports teams: don't really know, don't really care (especially since John LeClair pimped himself to the Penguins), although occasionally I will watch a hockey or football game... Nothing like good clean violence to soothe the savage soul.
  
• Outdoor activities: hiking, running, walking, people-gawking.
  
• TV shows: “House," "Good Eats," "Roseanne" reruns, "Buffy" reruns.
  
• Movies: “Princess Bride" and "Hair" all the way.
  
• Music: the Decemberists, the Cure circa 1989, Modest Mouse... everything else depends on the time of day, the time of year, the weather outside, and my mood at the time.
  
• Magazines: Runner's World, Running Times, Sunset, Mother Jones.
  
• Books/Authors: anything by Hemingway, Kerouac, David Sedaris or Stephen King.
• Cereals: Grape Nuts.
  
• Fruit: Um... grapes? Bananas? Sadly, I don't like a lot of fruit. Unless it involves peanut butter, which apples go really well with.
  
• Chips/snacks: Frito's as a guilty pleasure (the "scoops" are particularly enticing), reduced fat Trader Joe's imitation Cheetos as a semi-guilty pleasure. Otherwise it's reduced fat Triscuits, no exceptions.
  
• Cookies: if there's no peanut butter involved, no thank you.
  
• Candy bars: if there's no peanut butter involved, no thank you.
  
• Alcoholic drinks: oh... any will suffice, no peanut butter required.
  
• Non-alcoholic drinks: Peet's anything, cranberry juice, decaf green tea if I need to chill out.
  

Et tu, Brute?

Belated Friday five.

Five movies I have watched recently, and my opinion of those movies, and in some cases, what you should watch (or rewatch) instead, in no particular order:

• Two Weeks. Sally Field, Tom Cavanagh, a bunch of other people who looked vaguely familiar... I really expected more from this. Go for Steel Magnolias instead. Even a rerun on Lifetime with commercials would be a better use of your precious hour and a half. (I've probably seen it 20 times and the hospital scene makes me bawl Every. Single. Time.)
  
• Freedom Writers. About halfway through I wandered off and started making cookies out of sheer boredom, meanwhile hoping that something in the film would grab me and pull me back in. No such luck. Watch Iron Jawed Angels instead - same lead characters, much better film.
  
• Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly. Sixty minutes of pure genius comedy. Just keep watching his show.
  
• BSG: The Story So Far. A colossal waste of time, just as the reviews on Netflix predicted, but I still got a fix. Skip it and go straight into season 3 whenever it's BLOODY RELEASED ALREADY AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH.
  
• The Lord of the Rings trilogy. It was on some cable network yesterday, the whole trilogy, and while I was doing various cleaning and much-needed organizing things around the apartment I left it on in the background.

People. If it's been a while since you've seen these films (and I know all of you have seen these films) you should really watch them again. At some point during The Two Towers, probably around the time that Aragorn bursts through the castle doors in that manly way of his, I ended up just doing the cleaning during the commercials because I got totally sucked back into that world...

And I also realized that I really need to go to New Zealand.

Really. And really soon.

Public service announcement.

The Closer: the Singles gal as the Deputy Police Chief of the Priority Homicide Division of the LAPD? Really, really good.

Saving Grace: the star of my favorite holiday movie as an Oklahoma City police detective? Really, really good.

NCIS: any show that doesn't have characters vomiting when they enter a tomb where two bodies decomposed and subsequently blew up? Really, really bad. Maybe they need a gal to step into charge there.

"It's like my mom says, 'The weak are always trying to sabatoge the strong.'"

"Dear Voter:
You are receiving this notice because you are not registered with a qualified party... State law provides that voters not affiliated with a qualified political party may request the ballot of a political party in a Primary Election, if the party has provided for this in their rules... Not all political parties have chosen to participate..."

Options: American Independent, Democratic

Hmm. So is it a good thing or a bad thing that Republican is not an option? Or does it not matter anyway because Republicans are so adamant about their political party that HOW DARE ANYONE ASSUME they would not register with a qualified party? Maybe it's just us danged wishy-washy liberals who can't commit - and surely the elephants don't want us in their camp.

[Digression. How the hell did the "collective we," which I won't commit to, get stuck with a donkey as our mascot? Seriously? A DONKEY? End of digression.]

"Requesting a party ballot for the Primary election does not change your registration... However, your voting history will show which party you chose."

Um... EH?? Have I been naive in assuming that my vote really was anonymous to some degree? Did I know that and just suppress it all these years? I mean, I know they have to track the party I'm affiliated with so they know what to send me ahead of time, and they have to track the fact that I've voted so that I can't vote again, but... EH??

I am sooooooo moving to Canada. Or France. Yeah, France! That'll show 'em.

Animal crackers in my soup.

First up on my "background movie watch while I make Christmas cards" was Steal Me. I got what she was trying to do, but... Eh. I am glad to see that one of the kids has gone on to star in lots of other things, though. And I made a lot of Christmas cards while it was on in the background.

And then I popped in Zodiac, and HOLY GUACAMOLE. Between an all-star cast that did not disappoint (I {heart} Jake... and Mark... and Robert), a relevant and real plot, and excellent direction, I damn near caught the glue gun on fire.

OK, not really, but I did get awfully distracted for 2.5 hours. Watch this one.

My luck runneth over.

For my birthday about four years ago, a friend at work got me a "lucky bamboo" which flourished over the years due in most part to utter neglect (may I direct you to the snake plant challenge?), and now bears the honor of housing several barrels of monkeys. I added the monkeys as a Christmas decoration gag several years ago and they never left the tree.

For my birthday last January, my oldest friend sent me three stalks of "lucky bamboo" in a special vase in honor of my new job and my new start in life. I've maintained it as the instructions required, but two of the stalks have died and the other is on its last legs.

I think this is quite telling in sooooooooo many ways.

I'm considering a third tattoo for my 33rd birthday, but I now officially doubt that it will involve bamboo. Possibly a creatively drawn "33" in an ocean or wave motive (I must live near the ocean no matter what else, and I'm an Aquarius, so it all seems to make sense). Drawings and tattoo parlor recommendations now being accepted. I do love Zebra already, but I'm open to other options.

I think other people call them "damn I'm old" moments, but whatever.

I'm watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special extravaganza on ABC (or is it CBS? I can never remember) and I had a nostalgia moment.

I had a sudden wish to be eight years old, eagerly anticipating Christmas morning where I could open my presents and play with my new toys and forget about real life (which would've consisted of brother issues, friend issues and homework, I suppose) for a whole day. Eagerly anticipating candlelight services at my church the night before. Eagerly anticipating the warning of snow and our fireplace all lit up and cozy and me taking dictation while my dad narrated a holiday greetings letter to my cousins in New Jersey - our tradition for a few years there. Eagerly anticipating the trek to my grandmother's house to watch her make homemade rolls and watch everyone gorge on dinner and pumpkin pie.

At times like these, I realize the value of family, and I start to crave one of my own. I start to think that maybe I should be within three hours driving distance of my parents (but no closer than three hours!). I wish I'd gone home for Thanksgiving.

Then I change the channel and watch a disgruntled doctor barking orders at his peons, and all is right with my world again.

Public service announcement.

Misto sprayers should only be used by trained professionals. This morning I somehow managed to slice open my thumb and ring finger while I was pumping air pressure into the canister... And they think it's a good idea to mix Mistos with alcohol? Yikes.

Add to this morning's events the coffee mug I broke (one of my faves), the handmade Christmas ornaments I dropped on the floor (several casualties, not good), and the two wine glasses I broke yesterday at a friend's house ("no really, stop doing the dishes already"), and I think it's safe to say I should not leave the apartment for the rest of the year.

"I carried a watermelon?"

The 80's child in me was quite impressed with this recreation of the infamous "nobody puts Baby in the corner" scene. They totally nailed it.

And if you must do something unique for your wedding, I guess it's a little more appropriate than singing and dancing to this little ditty at the reception... Which is what I would do.

I prefer the other Dan.

I took today off and to prevent myself from being tempted to check work email, I left the house at 10:30, hit the gym, hit the Public Market for lunch and then paid way too much money to see Steve Carell's latest endeavor.

Commentary in my head throughout the movie:

"I don't know any 14 year old who acts like that... wouldn't it make sense just to TELL people that she's the one from the bookstore?... why does that actress look so familiar?... man, I REALLY don't know any 14 year old who acts like that... this is getting painful to watch... how is no one else noticing their googly eyes at each other?... hey dumbass dad, you forgot to see what your adorable daughter made you... OMG just effing tell everyone already... but not THAT way you dumbasses... who the heck IS THAT WOMAN??"

There were moments where I appreciated Steve. He actually did a really good job with a really crappy story.

OK, it wasn't a crappy story. It had a beginning, a middle, and a happy end. Maybe that was my issue with it. I suppose it would be a good date night movie.

Me, I should've opted for The Mist instead. Roger Ebert called it "a competently made Horrible Things Pouncing on People Movie." Sounds good. Maybe Sunday.

I did see a preview for Alvin & the Chipmunks featuring Jason Lee as the human. I have a soft spot in my heart, both for Jason who has worked magic in many Kevin Smith films and as Earl, and also for Alvin. I must've listened to Chipmunk Punk a thousand times as a kid. (I don't think any of the songs covered on this album were appropriate for kids' ears, but hey, neither was REO Speedwagon and I listened to that a thousand times as a kid too.) Point being, it didn't look terrible and I might have to check this out with my parents over the holiday.

And that was my day off. Could've been better, but it was a million times better than a day at the office.

(The familiar woman was Susan from Friends. Whew, thank goodness for IMDB. I can sleep tonight.)

Friday five.

Top five reasons I politely declined a second interview at a really cool company, in no particular order:

• I have enough road rage driving from home to Emeryville, can you imagine how bad it would be with a 2-hour commute each day?
• There were typos in the job description. (Seriously. To a normal person this wouldn't be a factor, but to me? Nix.)
  
• The position didn't really seemed like it belonged anywhere specific; it wasn't assigned to a particular project.
  
• My friend kinda wants the job.
  
• I hate technology.

I suppose one of my answers should've been, "I still have hope for my current job," but at the moment I can't honestly say that is true. Upper management is nothing to write home about, nor is the specific job I have ended up doing. It's been a tough week, but I could say the same about at least one week a month since I started, and it's not fixing to get much better. At least, not anytime soon.

So in the words of the great Billy Joel, "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than die with the saints - the sinners are much more fun."

Oh, wait, I meant, "momma, if that's moving up, then IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'm moving out."

Belated Friday five.

OK, it's time for the obligatory "what I'm thankful for" Friday five. (Actually, I guess it's past the time. Whatever.) So here we go, in no particular order:

• I'm thankful that I have cabinets and a refrigerator/freezer full of food even if I don't always want to eat any of it, and that the food I AM eating has caused me to put on a few pounds so that my clothes aren't falling off me anymore.
• I'm thankful that I have money to spend on movies even if they sometimes suck, and on crafty gadgets like this one even if this card making thing is just a passing phase, and on books even if I've had them for three years and haven't cracked them open yet.
• I'm thankful that my building manager let me hang a bird feeder on my balcony so that I could spend an hour or so each day watching the teeny little sparrows flit and fleet about, and the big pigeons waddle around on the railing getting the scraps, and the squirrel leaping from the balcony to the tree whenever Her Majesty runs to the window. (Her Majesty is also thankful for that. It's the only fun she has these days.)
• I'm thankful that the weather seems to finally be turning, and that the leaves are crunchy under my feet and the air is crisp and clean.
  
• And of course, I'm thankful for my family and friends and that they are healthy and (generally speaking) happy.

I think that's more than five, but what the heck.

"It's bad enough that the movie is about uninteresting people's problems...."

"... what's worse is that it's about snobs..."

You would think that by now, I would know to read Stephanie Zacharek's movie reviews in advance.

"Is that a true story?" "It's true that it's a story."

Instead of the character film about "a mess of thrashed relationships and exposed family secrets" (saving that for tomorrow, it was too close to Thanksgiving to see such a thing), I took in the Coen brothers' latest endeavor, a masterful, beautiful tale of pure evil in search of $2 million and a sheriff in search of the good old days when being evil made sense.

I think I will be thinking about this film for days to come. It's stories like this that make me wish I still had that part of my brain that could write a five-page paper on foreshadowing through lofty prose and the symbolism behind the cattle stun gun. (Did you know that Simon from Lord of the Flies symbolized Jesus? ... Well, everyone knows that NOW, but did you know it in tenth grade?)

Then I hit BBV for my frakberry fix of disc 2, season 2.5. Because there is no way in hell I can wait until Tuesday's Netflix delivery to see what happens next, and the local indie video store only had disc 1, season 2.5, which I demolished yesterday when I got home from dinner.

DAMN YOU, CONNIE. I will never, ever listen to another one of your infotainment recommendations. You have stolen YEARS of my life from me. YEARS!! (OK, probably just weeks, but still. You made me resort to BBV. For shame, for shame!)

Moral dilemma.

On this lovely Black Friday, do I pay round-trip BART fare and full price for a movie ticket to see What Would Jesus Buy, or do I walk to the Piedmont and pay 1/2 price for a matinée of Margot at the Wedding?

I'm thinking the latter.

Would Jesus have bought paper towels today? (I really needed them.)

Courtesy of my aunt...

Happy Thanksgiving!