Sunday dish.

Another fine insult to my friends with REAL PhDs.

But, Jennifer Love Hewitt, I thought the whole point was... Oh, never mind.

HA-ha!!

Just when you thought hip-hop rivalry was dead, Jay-Z blasts... wha? Oasis? In England? Sigh.

More proof that Anderson Cooper wants to be Jon Stewart sooooooooo badly...

Quite possibly the only thing I will ever enjoy that involves Paris Hilton.

And finally, why I still read Best Week Ever. (Viewer discretion advised.)

"Try to behave, be happy that they made you a celebrity."

So my favorite Barenaked Lady got arrested for what appears to be snorting coke in his own apartment using a rolled up Canadian dollar (as an extra-special "F-U" to America, I guess), and now my favorite Batman is being charged with assault on his own family members.

My not so favorite Lindsay is gay, Amy Winehouse was surprised to learn she wasn't already dead, Eva Longoria was so desperate for a haircut that she had her husband do it, and Pete Doherty is in the news. AGAIN. (And again, and again.)

Yawn.

What I really want to know: why wasn't I told before now that Bob Geldof's daughter was named Peaches??

Just don't achy breaky my camera...

Forget Miley's risque photo shoot. Check out Annie Leibovitz chatting with Billy Ray Cyrus (2nd picture from bottom).

He seems to be making her laugh.

THIS is news, people.

________________
Hey, it was a slow day, OK? The movers aren't coming until next Monday so I opted to abandon the packing frenzy and "last" quests for one day, and instead succumbed to god-awful daytime TV while prepping Mom's Mom Day gift. It was either this post or something about "all I learned from Oprah." Be happy it's not the latter.

Celebreality.

Oh, sigh. Sigh. SIGH.

See? Gene Simmons gets it. Even crazy Mariah Carey gets it. The rest of the world - WTF?

Observations.

Lucky is the new Albertsons. When I first moved here all the stores were Lucky. Then they turned into Albertsons. Now they're turning back into Lucky. This is even worse than the annual re-corporatization of our beloved sports arenas. It disgusts me to think about all the money that has changed hands over this debacle.

Another small step for mankind...

I was quite disturbed at the report that Owen Wilson attempted suicide this past weekend. He's my favorite Duke brother. I can only hope that the Dish is wrong this time.

Speaking of... Perhaps Amy Winehouse should say "yes, yes, yes" to rehab once and for all.

Perhaps this cat also caught the nine millionth rerun of Jaws this weekend on TNT. It's really annoying but much like with the Princess Bride, I can't not watch this whenever I run across it. Maybe because the TV version is so similar to the original, except with commercials (unlike with movies like the Breakfast Club where they have to delete entire scenes which ends up totally detracting from the movie). I know the movie Jaws from start to finish. I sing the "show me the way to go home" song after a long day at work. I flip to another channel right before Dreyfuss's character sees the dead body while he's diving (that scene still freaks me out). Like with Poltergeist, my feet can't touch the floor while I'm watching any part of the movie. Overall though, I blame Quint. He's just a fascinating character. Very pirate-like.

And still, I would love to go in a shark cage someday.

I love Scrubs. It's a fairly recent obsession. It's witty and engaging without all the Gray's Anatomy/ER drama. (Which I also love, but can only take so much of.) The soundtrack for each Scrubs episode is particularly endearing. Right now a Toad the Wet Sprocket song is playing in the background...

If you offer me a product I like as two-for one, or more likely as two-for-less-than-the-price-of-two, I will buy two of them even if I only need one. Curse you, marketing world. Curse you.

Poetic justice, or sumthin'.

This made me laugh out loud. You go, girl!

"It's a free ride when you've already paid..."

"Jolie and Pitt, who have been raising awareness about poverty during their stay, have been residing in the luxury Four Seasons hotel on the Papagayo peninsula with their three children Maddox, 5; Zahara, 23 months; and Shiloh, 6 months, nanny and personal chef since last Friday."

I don't use the term "douchebag " often, but...

Why would anyone serenade their new wife with the tune, "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling"? What a douchebag.

HOLD THE PHONE!!

The Queery Eye guys are GAY?? GET THE HELL OUT!!! Other shockers - are you sitting down?? - include RuPaul, Bruce Vilanch, John Waters, Alan Cumming and kd lang.

I can't believe WCBSTV.com actually put together a slide show of gay celebrities. I can't believe they actually called it "it's in to be out." Tell that to all the people who are constantly harrassed, discriminated against, bludgeoned to death because of who they date. What people do in their own lives is their own damn business. (Well... except Reese and Ryan, of course. And those creepy 80-year old men who marry twenty-somethings... and vice versa... yeesh.)

Curse you, Alex Blagg. Curse you and the horse you rode in on.

Signed,
Your most loyal fan

Insert sound of cartoon character doing a double take.

Is it Jessica, or is it Ashlee?

Is it Casper, or is it Gwenyth?

Is it Castaway, or is it Matthew? (And OH MY GOD. Here I just thought his abs were big!)

(Oh COME ON, it had to be said.)

Is it Skeletor, or is it Katie?

And finally, I never thought I would say this, but I would KILL to be Jamie Lee Curtis for a day...

Technology at its finest.

I was doing a little shopping yesterday and overheard two teenage cashiers talking about the girl's failing relationship. The girl mentioned that she was going to have to end it, and joked that she might just put it on his MySpace page.

Now, I knew Kid Rock was lame, but I never thought he could be even lamer than a teenage girl's bad joke.

Why I am single ...

... exhibit #679.

Ever since I read this, it's been really hard to watch her show without wanting to throw things at the screen whenever his face appears. She adored him, clearly, and this is how he pays her back... Niiiiiice.

Why I love Owen Wilson...

... exhibit #427.

(I dunno why but this really made me laugh.)

And suddenly, the plot thickens.

I got REALLY SICK of hearing about the Mel Gibson debacle REALLY QUICKLY... Especially being on vacation this week and doing lots of channel surfing during my extended breakfasts. Even CNN was covering the story, every hour on the hour, for pete's sake. It was all too stupid and attention-grabbing and "so what if Jesus was Jewish Mel made a lot of fucking money off that 'film'."

Then I heard that he had to halt plans for a miniseries about the Holocaust... and I just had to sigh at the irony. And hope for his swift demise. Or at least pray for a good South Park episode about the whole thing.

If there is a God in heaven, Tom will be next...

There comes a time...

... when this is no longer news.

Yunno...

I try not to buy into celebrity fuss unless it's confirmed and/or remotely interesting... But I find the whole concept of baby Suri being a farce ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS.

Say what you will, I loved Serendipity.

It's true. I did. But this wasn't me.

In other movie-related news... I wonder exactly how much of the Princess Bride I can recite from memory, having watched it nineteen times on video plus every time I run across it on TV?

Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

Dishing.

I lost my arms and legs and all I got was this lousy iPod.

100% stolen from BWE: "He’ll need at least that many if he wants to fulfill his dream to start his very own cult."

One thing about living in California I never could stomach, all the damn Coreys.

May I maintain my youthful look and appearance for years to come.

Anderson Cooper's iTunes playlist bugged me... I mean, Smashing Pumpkins? The Clash? New Order? Come ON.

And then I read this. And it all made sense.

And in other news....

WHY. WON'T. SHE. JUST. DIE.