Mind melding.

In an eerie series of pop culture-related events, I have recently had the following experiences.

Experience #1: For the last three weeks, I've been composing a post in my head titled "We didn't start the fire." The gist was a summary of the literal dumpster fire of our current world and country, my admiration for Sarah Marshall committing to learning every word to the Billy Joel song, and some sort of summary of how we all must persevere because what else is there...?

I thought the concept of the post was kinda clever. I was actually pretty excited about writing it. But I went down too many internet rabbit holes looking for a link to prove that I had once heard Sarah Marshall say she had committed to learning every word to "We Didn't Start the Fire." I never actually found internet proof, but by the time I resurfaced, I had given up on persevering because holy shit, y'all looked around lately? So thank you, kind person, for doing my job for me. I only wish I'd seen this three weeks ago - I could've saved myself a lot of time. 

Experience #2: One of my favorite podcasts is NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour. Approximately 95% of the time, I have no idea what or who they are talking about (I'm old, we don't have a TV, our local movie theater leans toward Jesus movies, etc., etc.), but this is one of my favorite podcasts for a few reasons:

• The podcasts are short enough that I can listen to an entire episode on one leg of my commute. 
• There is always so much camaraderie, laughter, and casual, friendly banter amongst the hosts. 
• They occasionally introduce me to new pop culture or validate my thoughts on pop culture things I am familiar with and did not really enjoy.
• But really, it's the first bullet that lands them as one of my favorite podcasts. A 33 minute commute isn't a joke, folks. 

My ride home tonight featured a pop culture "Hill You Will Die On" theme. Candice presented a verrrrrry complicated and amusing hill involving Timothée Chalamet, Tom Cruise, and the road to success. Stephen and Glen presented hills about certain songs needing to be retired forever (agree) and boss battles in video games adding nothing (no comment). And then Aisha presented her hill, and dear lord did it speak to me.

For over twenty years, I have theorized that music venues need to section off areas for the following:

• Short people. (They get the front. I'd honestly pay a dollar or two more for this, much like tall people have to pay for extra leg room on airplanes.)
• Tall people. (They get the middle.)
• People who don't care about the band and are just there because their friend/partner/spouse dragged them along. (They get the back.)
• People who want to talk to their friends the whole time. (They get the waaaaay back.)

This is due, in large part, to the PROVEN FACT that 95% of the time I go to a concert, the tallest person in the room makes their way across the floor to stand directly in front of me. It's laughable how predictable it is, at this point. 

So anyway, I'm driving home thinking this would be a cool thing to think about for a blog post to meet my writing goals (ahem don't look at me like that), and all that kept popping into my head as my "hill" was my theory above. And then Aisha nailed. So, thank you Aisha, for doing my job for me.

The winter of our discontent, week nine.

Two weeks to go in this goal. Doing things is easy. Remembering to write them down is not so easy.

SUNDAY: sent the weekly round-up of activism-related activities to our local Dems group.

MONDAY: looooong work day. My jobs count as "something active" but I'm sure I squeezed something else in, too.

TUESDAY: city council meeting - as usual, part informative, part Parks and Recreation.

WEDNESDAY: attended a meeting to brainstorm ideas on homeless solutions around the county. It was an interesting group who had lots of energy, especially around a planned city effort to clean out various camps around town. I'm frustrated with the city's reactive approach but not sure what to do about it at this point. This group can help.

THURSDAY: attended a Women in Politics panel discussion where questions ranged from "how do you start a campaign?" to "what gender issues have you faced in local office?" OK, honestly I was co-host of the event, and I was petrified that turnout would be dismal like the last event, but we had a packed house and six amazing speakers. And? I got to put a Buffy quote on the whiteboard. Can't beat that with a stick.

pretty sure none of the panelists knew what this was about...

thanks, notorious RBG

FRIDAY: rested up for a very busy Saturday. Self-care totally counts, people.

SATURDAY: along with a handful of others, handed out trash bags to homeless folks who were being forced to relocate so that they could move their things easily and keep them dry in the process. Also helped salvage 26 bags of clothing and sleeping bags that would otherwise be tossed into the landfill during the city cleanup the following week. Later, attended a celebration of Cesar Chavez's birthday where my 80-year old friend and mentor spoke about her time helping Chavez on the picket line. Very inspiring! Ended the day with a private screening of Iron Jawed Angels at a local theater.

I continue to be impressed with the progressive actions that take place on a daily basis here in Coos County. Can't say I expected this at all.

Onward...

The winter of our discontent, week eight.

This time, only a week-late weekly wrap-up of "something actives"... Really need to start documenting this daily! My brain ain't what it used to be.

SUNDAY: coordinated a poster for an upcoming Dems event and other Dems-related stuff.

MONDAY: probably got mad several times throughout the day. Staying enraged counts, right? Also put in a full day on my second job which definitely counts as "something active."

TUESDAY: did some Dems stuff, then decorated postcards for the Ides of Trump.

best part: writing "SOB"

on Mitch McConnell's address

WEDNESDAY: attended an early-morning teleforum with local legislators, did some outreach for my non-profit organization on my day off, then mailed Ides of Trump postcards and went to Science Pub night at the local brewery. BECAUSE SCIENCE.

THURSDAY: attended my first "Huddle" meeting. "Huddles" come from the Women's March - they've suggested 10 actions in 100 days through local "huddles." Learned about some cool, thought-provoking articles and movies at this meeting.

FRIDAY: self-care night! Wine, homemade pizza, cats, and HBOGO with my partner in crime. A very necessary "something active" in these trying times.

SATURDAY: Donated to Kids Helping Kids, where three rock bands with members aged 5-16 played a benefit show to help homeless kids around Coos County. How awesome are they?!

I mean, seriously - 

what were YOU doing when you were 11?

Onward...

The winter of our discontent, week seven.

Here's a verrrrrrrry belated weekly wrap-up of "something actives"... Man, am I glad this is only a three-month goal.

SUNDAY: did some work for the Dems including emailing a list of upcoming activities to our mailing list. Small effort, but it counts.

MONDAY: I have no idea. I probably got really mad about all the weekend hubbub, signed some online petitions (for whatever that's worth), and then took a break. I really need a break right now.

TUESDAY: caught up on Daily Show episodes during my gym run. That totally counts. Also, attended a local non-profit roundup to see what other folks in the area are doing. These are really helpful because even though I'm not particularly interested in volunteering with, for example, the South Coast Preppers or the Bandon bus line (which, yes, is a nonprofit!), I can refer other people who may be interested.

WEDNESDAY: did not participate in the Day Without a Woman rally. I decided that it was geared toward the privileged and the unintended consequences were too great. (And also, I had to work. Oh, the irony.) But I did make a conscious effort to put my rallying efforts into tangible activities with actual goals. Time is too precious and standing on a corner every day/week/month loses its impact after a while. I think deciding how to focus your activism actions counts as activism. Don't you?

THURSDAY: attended our local seed community meeting (no big ag!) where the founders of Adaptive Seeds gave a presentation. So cool to hear their travel stories as well as their vision for bringing seed saving back!

FRIDAY: called my senators to remind them that amidst everything else they are fighting for, Planned Parenthood is a critical resource for women all across the country, particularly women of color. I shared my experience last year (it was the most comfortable, empathetic exam I've had in 20+ years of exams). I had to leave messages for both but at least I left my voice.

SATURDAY: attended a local Indivisible meeting and signed up to help with voter registration drives. Then, went to a tree-grafting workshop sponsored by our local seed community (no big ag!). And, ended the day supporting the arts at our local non-profit movie theater who hosted a Grease sing-a-long prefaced by a 40-minute live re-enactment from our local drag queens.

cleft graft technique - who knew?

"Beauty School Dropout" -
best Frenchie EVER

(Actually, to be honest, I ended *my* day deciding that I would never, ever watch that movie again because it's such a misogynistic horror show... Catchy songs, but totally shitty terrible message at the end. I am sure others would argue that she takes the power. But must she take the power in high heels, tight pants, and fuzzy hair? Why can't she take the power in her comfy poodle skirt? There were so many young girls in the audience that night who may have gotten the wrong impression. I've known this forever, and still I have gone to sing-a-longs, but this will be my last Grease sing-a-long.)

Onward...

The winter of our discontent, week EIGHTY BAZILLION.

What's that, you say? It's week six, not week EIGHTY BAZILLION? It sure does feel like week EIGHTY BAZILLION.

Here's a belated weekly wrap-up of "something actives"...

SUNDAY: finished Snowden. (Team: Patriot.)

MONDAY: apparently agreed to a Board position with a local homeless non-profit. (Wasn't there a note to self somewhere to stop agreeing to stuff?)

TUESDAY: signed various online petitions, for whatever those are worth, and attended our local Democratic party meeting.

WEDNESDAY: encouraged my friend's young daughters to travel as much as they can. Travel promotes cultural competence, compassion and empathy towards others, and general appreciation of diversity. This country needs those things now more than ever.

THURSDAY: attended an advocacy day at the Capitol for affordable housing bills. It was a fascinating learning experience. I cannot fathom how our local legislators get anything done, and I'm sure it's a thousand times more crazy for national legislators.

 the calm between the chaos

FRIDAY: encouraged a few dissatisfied people to contact their appropriate elected officials to voice their concerns and gave them a starting point.

SATURDAY: mailed "thank you" postcards to Representative Blumenauer (for his "Resist." statement), Governor Brown (because she is awesome), and Florida Representative Val Demings (who I heard speak out against Trump on NPR).

Onward...

The winter of our discontent, week 5.

Here is this week's weekly wrap-up of "something actives"...

SUNDAY: attended town hall with Senator Wyden. Some rah rah political talk, but good to hear the actions he's taking, especially with regards to Russia. A surprisingly good turnout too, and lots of young folks asking thoughtful questions.

good show, Coos County

MONDAY: attended the county Democrats fundraiser and sold lots of buttons.

I also modeled hats for sale

TUESDAY: attended the city council meeting. (Parks & Rec, people, Parks & Rec.)

WEDNESDAY: I don't remember. But I've been on a petition signing kick lately - pretty much anything that comes into my inbox gets a signature. I know it's useless but sometimes it makes me feel better. So I'm sure I did some of that on Wednesday.

THURSDAY: attended a Board meeting for a local homeless non-profit and agreed to donate a few bookkeeping hours a month. Also gave a presentation at the library on WWOOFing, and ended with encouraging folks to support the local food movement. (No big ag!)

FRIDAY: bought a lot of Oregon Coast postcards to be mailed over the next few weeks. Our local Walgreens has them discounted for $0.09 each!

I thought they'd be crap for the price, but they're so pretty!

SATURDAY: attended a non-profit volunteer fair (for networking, not because I need anything else to do right now) and recruited someone's help for a "women in politics" talk that's coming up in March.

Onward...

The winter of our discontent, Week 4.

Here is this week's weekly wrap-up of "something actives"...

And an aside. The less news I read, and the less I call national senators and representatives who already agree with my protests on larger scale issues, and the more small concrete local actions I take, the less depressed I am. Go figure.

SUNDAY: supported art and local business by attending a screening of the Oscar nominated animated shorts at our local independent movie theater, then eating delicious Thai food at a small independent restaurant. Also (finally) planted garden seeds - no big ag!

growth after just one week!
gardening is cool

MONDAY: finally closed my Chase account, woohoo! Next up is ING. Wondering if your bank is supporting DAPL? The short answer: yes, all the big banks are supporting DAPL. The longer answer: this is the full list. Look. I know it's hard to think about pulling money out of interest-bearing accounts and putting it into credit unions instead. (Well, it's not really hard for me to think about that, given that I see about $50 in interest a year.) But if you must keep your money in big banks, at least donate your interest earned. It's free money that other people need more than you do.

Another aside: I was kind of bummed that the Chase dude didn't ask why I wanted to close my account. It probably had something to do with the paltry amount I was withdrawing, but I still made a point of asking him whether many people were closing accounts these days. He said, rather indifferently, "Nope," and when I mentioned the movement to pull out of big banks in favor of credit unions, he glanced at me and said, "Nope, haven't heard of that." I really couldn't tell if he just didn't give a shit about his job, or if he was advised not to comment on that from the higher-ups.

While I was there I also cancelled my Amazon Visa under Chase. I had to do this over the phone, and when the guy asked me why I was closing my account I was happy to tell him. He didn't care either. Meh.

TUESDAY: attended training for a new temporary job which will aid advocacy efforts for intellectually and developmentally disabled folks in my local community. Very excited to start this project and hear what these folks have to say!

WEDNESDAY: attended local speaker event on the impact of the Trump administration on health care (prognosis: unknown but terrifying). Also sent my monthly donation to the Wyoming-Casper chapter of Planned Parenthood, chosen because it's the only PP in Wyoming and because Wyoming was one of the reddest states during the election.

THURSDAY: volunteered to help with a Women in Politics panel discussion next month...

Final aside: Must. Stop. Volunteering. For. Shit.

FRIDAY: supported more local art - The Vagina Monologues at the local playhouse! Not something I would expect to see in Coos Bay. This town just keeps surprising me.

SATURDAY: assembled buttons for the upcoming Dems fundraiser, then worked on my WWOOF presentation for several hours - no big ag!

I take no credit for the designs -

I was just the manual labor

Onward...

The winter of our discontent, Week 3.

Better late than never, here is this week's weekly wrap-up of "something actives"...

SUNDAY: more Dems stuff. Much more to come.

MONDAY: called Senators Merkley and Wyden to say thanks. Actually got through to a real person at Senator Wyden's office - how nice to talk to a human being!

TUESDAY: attended our local city council meeting. (In case you're wondering, yes, Parks & Recreation is pretty spot on.)

WEDNESDAY: set up some volunteer recruitment methods for my nonprofit job. (Yes, I got paid to do that. Still counts.)

THURSDAY: attended a local seed swap meeting - no big ag! no farms, no food! Also, wrote letter to REI about their US Bank connection and reached out to my local community college staff about ESL tutoring.

FRIDAY: stopped myself from punching someone in the face at the gym when he insisted that FOX news was "the only real news out there." (That counts, right?)

SATURDAY: worked on the WWOOFing presentation I'll be giving for the local community (no big ag!).

Onward...

The winter of our discontent, Week 2.

Here is this week's weekly wrap-up of "something actives"... I also got really mad a lot, but that's not really an action.

SUNDAY: attended a coordination lunch with some local activists and then headed straight to a "living room conversations" meeting with some locals, including three people very closely tied to politics here on the southern coast. I am constantly grateful that this community is so easy to insert yourself into, and I am often so honored to be in the company of such inspiring women.

MONDAY: called Senator Patty Murray (our closest senator on the Education Committee) to urge her not to approve DeVos for Secretary of Education, left a love note on Governor Kate Brown's Facebook page in response to all the haters, then did lots more coordination with the local Dems.

TUESDAY: signed up to attend an a day of activism in Salem on behalf of affordable housing. Listened to this amazing podcast on poverty in the US during my run. (And lots more coordination with the local Dems - this should probably go without saying at this point.)

WEDNESDAY: called Senators Merkley and Wyden to thank them for being on our side (but to keep fighting the good fight and delay Sessions/Price/Mnuchin and oppose Gorsuch). Then unplugged and went here...

the end

THURSDAY: called the Senate Committee on Homeland Security to voice my concerns about Bannon's appointment to the National Security Council. I had to leave a message, which I'm sure will never get heard, but it was still kind of fun to say "I oppose the existence of this man, let alone his existence in the White House in any kind of appointed position" into an official voice mailbox.

(I also egged on Patrick in his quest to calm the Facebook hate directed at Governor Brown for expanding protection for immigrants and refugees in Oregon. That counts, right?)

FRIDAY: attended the weekly long-time activists lunch meeting and brainstormed button-making ideas with one of them afterward.

SATURDAY: the very, very beginning of Dems web site updates. Also? FILED MY TAXES. Ahem.

I stayed away from the Muslim ban action this week, other than suggesting that our local activist group contact the only mosque within 150 miles to see if they need anything from us. Obviously, I was horrified by this EO, and I was glad to see the outpouring of support for this community, but I'm really starting to think that some of 45's actions are smoke and mirrors that distract us from something even more horrific going on under the surface.

(And also? Where were all these people for Black Lives Matter? For Standing Rock? I have grave concerns about the message this is sending to US citizens who have been fighting for equality for decades now, without the help of white folks.)

Onward...

The winter of our discontent: 1Q goals.

I am officially reinstating quarterly goals. Yes, yes, 1Q2017 is starting a little late, and yes, I'm easing back into it so these aren't particularly challenging goals, but here we go:

• Write more. Of anything. (But hopefully, write more of this alleged book I keep talking about.)
• Run more. We are training for the Avenue of the Giants half marathon in May, so we've joined a gym and I'm enjoying the routine. 
• Do something active in response to this horrific administration every day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
• Subgoal. I totally agree with this, so these actions will be small, concrete, focused, and whenever possible, fun.

I'm going to post a weekly wrap-up of "something actives" to keep myself honest. Here is the first installment...

Sunday: Listened in on an Indivisible conference call with 25K other people around the country and posted a summary to our local activist group. Also, explained to my brother that I didn't need a t-shirt from the Women's March on Washington to prove I was there - my daily actions from here out would prove that I was there.

Monday: sent postcards to all my local reps from all three airports where I had layovers. Here are two of my favorites.

Chicago: My Kind of Town, Kate Brown: Our Kind of GOVERNOR!

and Earl Blumenauer's in honor of this

Tuesday: attended a local Democrats meet & greet.

Wednesday: wrote two blog posts about my DC trip, which included reading dozens of hilarious "best protest sign" blogs from around the country and the world - I haven't laughed that much since 5pm PST on November 8, 2016.

 I stole these...

... from the internet

Thursday: caught up on emails from progressives around the area.

Friday: updated our local Democratic party Facebook page. Also attended a weekly lunch meeting of long-time activists. These folks are a bit jaded, having been through this with the farm workers' movement, and Vietnam, and Reagan, and Bush/Bush Jr., and Occupy (see: "I can't believe we still have to protest this shit"), but they are rallying once again. Just sitting with them for an hour, I learn so much local context and anecdotal history for the fight that is to come for the next four years.

Saturday: more updates to the Dems Facebook page and coordination on some upcoming events sponsored by the Dems. Then I interviewed a guy who's planning a really interesting sustainability project here in town. BECAUSE SCIENCE.

Onward...

On hitting The Wall.

It's a long-distance runner's worst enemy: The Wall. The point where you are mentally and physically spent, where you cannot possibly continue, where you feel like you might puke and all you want is a warm bath and a soft bed.

And maybe a pizza.

And a kitty. Definitely a kitty.

During my marathon training eight years ago, I hit The Wall at 16 miles. I think that was the week our training run was 24 miles; somehow I pushed on for 8 more miles and finished the run. I had no issues while training after that training run, but interestingly (perhaps only to me), when I was actually running the marathon I hit The Wall at 24 miles. I never ran a full marathon again.

The Wall isn't specific to running. It rears its ugly head in any endurance activity.

Like, for example, editing 700 vacation photos. Or attending a five-day work conference. Or my most recent encounter with The Wall: hiking the Annapurna Circuit.

We had been trekking every day, at least 4 hours a day (and usually more like 6-7), for 10 days straight. We started at 840m/2756f*; each day we gained hundreds of meters in altitude. The air got thinner, the trees became sparse, our packs seemed to get heavier with each step. It was beautiful and exhilarating and exhausting. We were working toward a culminating ascent of 5416m/17,769f (also known as 3.4 miles above sea level) on Day 11.

Somewhere around Day 8 (4076m/13,372f/2.5mi**) as we got closer to Thorong La High Camp, I started to freak out.

Just mildly at first, so I kept it to myself - but really, 3.4 miles above sea level? Was that safe? Was it sane? Were we prepared - physically and mentally - for this? Were human beings really supposed to climb that high?

On Day 9 we skipped a side trek to Tilicho Lake because my old leg injury (from aforementioned marathon) had kicked in and I didn't want to risk the rest of the trek or WWOOFing through the last six months of our adventure. Was my *leg* prepared for an ascent of 5416m/17,769f/3.4mi?

The last hiking hour of Day 9 was the hardest hour we'd seen yet. It wasn't even hard hiking. It just sucked. We moved at a turtle's pace and stopped every few minutes to rest. At the frontier-like guesthouse (4200m/13,780f/2.6mi) we skipped cold bucket showers and laid around all afternoon in prep for Day 10 - a 725m/2379f climb - and the inevitable Day 11 pass crossing.

Day 10's ascent went surprisingly well but for whatever reason, at High Camp (4925m/16,158f/3.1mi) above sea level, all my emotions culminated into a gigantic wig out. I was terribly agitated all afternoon; I couldn't concentrate on conversations or crosswords or my book; I wasn't hungry.

I started to wonder if I had altitude sickness.

(I SO did not have altitude sickness.)

I actually sat under the blankets in the cold, damp guesthouse room for an hour, "what-iffing" and trying not to cry, while Patrick went around camp exploring. He was loving the physical and mental challenge of this trek... I usually love a challenge but I most certainly did not love this challenge. That didn't help my mood.

That night we attempted an early sleep for our 5am wake up but all I could do was freak out whenever his breathing was slightly irregular. "If either of us has a heart attack, how will they get us off this mountain?!" He barely slept; I barely slept. "What if our lack of sleep causes us to fall off a mile high cliff?" We didn't have down jackets. "What if we are hit with hypothermia or frostbite?"

We didn't have heart attacks. We didn't fall off cliffs. We were plenty warm the whole climb.

We climbed to the pass without issue and took celebratory photos. It was awesome.

I wrote most of this post two days after we summited Thorung La Pass but never finished it - I couldn't get past the whiny tone and I kind of wanted to forget that I had been so silly about the whole thing.

Today we learned of the lives that were just claimed on that same pass during freak blizzards. Those people didn't get their celebratory photos. Five weeks ago that could've been us.

So even though I still can't get past the whiny tone and I really want to forget that I was so silly about the whole thing, I am posting this to remind myself to be grateful.

Even when the moment sucks - even when the whole damn day or the entire week sucks - I am here. I am taking the sucky celebratory photo. And I am grateful for that.

----------------
* Isn't the metric system fun?
** Isn't this obnoxious? Just giving you a small taste of my world over the last 18 months.

On being "simply" a writer.

A few months ago I joined several writing groups on LinkedIn. I did this mostly out of curiosity - some groups are travel-related, others are generally aimed at independent writers - and many of my favorite travel writers are members of these groups.

I've made a few new connections and discovered a handful of good resources from these groups but otherwise it seems to be a lot of self-promoting noise. (Like everything else on the internet?)

Recently someone posed this question in a discussion group: "Are you an author, a screenwriter, or simply a writer?" He included a link to his self-promoting blog in which he offered his self-promoting blah blah blah answer for himself and of course, a self-promoting link to his latest book.

When I read the question, I did a double-take. "Simply" a writer? Did he really type the word "simply"? Any writer reading this is probably cringing right now.

So I posted a reply: "I am a writer, but there is nothing 'simple' about it." (Since then a few people - total strangers to me in this new community - have liked my comment and another few have posted a similar retort. Zing!)

For better or worse, though, his question hung around in my head for about a week and I started to give some serious thought to why I write.

Well, not why I write - I know why. It's fun, it's creative, it's something I can truly call my own (those things are few and far between these days), it allows me to express myself without having to do that awkward social talking-to-others thing.

So I don't question why but I do question the purpose - my intended goal or outcome - of writing.

I don't write off the cuff. It doesn't matter what I'm writing about, nor does my intended audience matter - writing is a tedious, detailed process for me. Always has been. I draft, then I edit, then I edit some more, then I sleep on it, then I edit some more, then I edit one last time before "publishing". (Case in point: I've sat on this post for weeks now.) There's a bit of obsessive perfectionism to my method, but I also liken it to the athlete who studies the playback reel so that he can improve in the next game.

But why the perfectionist approach if only ten non-judging dear readers will ever see it? For whom am I trying to improve?

And how will I know if I have improved? I really like feedback, even the hard-to-hear constructive kind of feedback. I kinda need it to feel successful, actually. Would I learn guitar only to hole up in the basement and play to myself? Unlikely. Was cooking fun when it was just for me? Not really. Hell, I even looked forward to annual reviews at work, as bureaucratic and ridiculous as they were at times.  (Also known as "always".)

So apply all that to writing. You ten people are reading this blog because you want to, and that makes me want to keep doing it. But you're a pretty quiet bunch.  To get the feedback fix do I need a bigger audience? Even scarier, do I want that kind of feedback?

Everyone says I should write a book about our year-plus on the road but honestly, I can't imagine who would read it (other than me and maybe you, dear reader... unfortunately that won't pay my bills). Besides, what I have to say is already available in hundreds of blogs by like-minded travelers.

A published article here or there about a specific destination or topic would be an accomplishment, but when I consider the amount of effort it took to give my Canadian national parks road trip story away for free, I most certainly don't have time to look for paid outlets right now.

And while I have great respect for those (except for maybe that "just a writer" guy mentioned above!) who attempt novels, screenplays, television scripts - fiction writing does not appeal to me. I barely have the patience to read made-up stories anymore, let alone write one.

If you were expecting a tidy wrap up, I'm afraid this is going to be a little anticlimactic. After all this self-promoting blah blah blah I am still purposeless. Sigh.

But I will keep at it. Maybe the answer will come to me someday.

A lot of you (ten) dear readers write. Why do you do it?

I look how *I* feel.

To the three people who might actually ever read this blog... I have an announcement. Next week I will turn one-year-from-the-new-thirty.

While it might not be the-big-four-oh just yet, OH MY GOSH. Never before have I felt so very one-year-from-the-new-thirty...

My back and neck persistently ache. My hands are getting wrinkles. The silver stands out in my hair more every day. I really will need those dreaded progressive lenses at some point. The TV is ALWAYS too loud. I refuse to pay full price for anything.  Overspiced food and bad coffee give me heartburn. I go to bed early and get up early. And I absolutely do not understand today's youth.

None of this is a result of nine months of travel. It's a result of being one-year-from-the-new-thirty.

Friends my age are still having babies. I don't know how they do it. Finding the energy is one thing. Patience is a whole other story. Some days I barely have enough of that for myself, let alone my partner in crime, and heaven help anyone else around me (including those of the vertically-challenged, non-communicative, poopy-diapered variety).

Lack of patience isn't due to nine months of travel. I can only hope that my lack of patience is due to being one-year-from-the-new-thirty. Right? The whole "life is too short to waste on nonsense" thing that makes it okay for your grandma to do whatever she damn well pleases after eighty years on this earth thank you very much? (If not, I am just a jerk.  I hope it's the former.)

Friends older than me are having babies and I don't even have an address right now. This IS a result of nine months of travel. Once in a rare while, this makes me feel irresponsible and makes me wonder if I am missing something. Perspective comes in the form of a screaming kid on a plane, or the thought of sending someone to college when I'm almost 60... or the fact that I while I generally enjoy their presence I have actually never wanted to have children.  (Perhaps all I am missing is that nagging biological clock that other women seem to have?  I'm okay with that.)

Most of the time, though, this makes me really happy - mentally picturing where I am on the globe, tasting authentic foods, constantly being outside of my comfort zone, seeing things no one I know has seen or even heard of in some cases, knowing that at any given moment only one other person knows exactly where I am (whether we know exactly where we are or not). My friends have their priorities and I have mine.  And that's how life should be.

So I will ignore my aching back, and I will shush my quiet-but-ever-present fear of lack of steady income, and I will put off wondering what the hell I am going to do with myself when I do get home, and I will enjoy kid pictures on Facebook from across the globe.

And I will have a kick-ass one-year-from-the-new-thirty birthday somewhere in Spain.  Or maybe Portugal.

Almost ten years of blogging later, we're still not there yet.  But we're definitely enjoying the ride...

park güell

barcelona, spain

january 2014

“Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.”

So yeah, I watched Julie and Julia a few weeks ago.  Mostly for Meryl - god bless that woman, she is amazing - but also because of all this homemade DIY cooking I've been doing lately, and also because I've been on a "books about writing" kick so I thought I would change it up a little and watch a movie about writing (among other things)... And also because it just happened to be at the library one day a few weeks ago.  God bless the Multnomah County Library too, while I'm at it.

As expected, Amy Adams got on my nerves (I can never tell, is it her, her characters or a little of both?) but like Julia, "Julie" had some gusto.  Some real drive.  Over 500 recipes in just one year?  That trumps my 90-haikus-in-a-quarter project by a long shot.  (But who's counting?)  I was happy when she finished her last recipe.  And I wondered if, after that endeavor, she went back to life as usual - or did she embark upon a whole new crazy adventure?

I'm sure Wikipedia would have an answer but I honestly don't like her enough to look it up.  I do, however, associate with the soul-killing office job and the need to create and achieve and feel fulfilled outside of office hours.

I'm not sure how to best manifest this in my own personal life right now.  DIY food, cardmaking, reading, writing are all fun but time-consuming (and sometimes expensive).  By the time I get home, do some sort of exercise and eat, it's 9pm.  My spring chicken days of staying up past midnight and getting up at 6am are long gone.  And right now we are housesitting in suburbia, which means a much longer commute and housesitting duties like watering the beautiful garden that provides our dinner each night and spending hours and hours petting the adorable kitteh.

 

beautiful garden that provides our dinner each night

 

adorable kitteh

Rough life, I know, but I have even less time for time-consuming activities.  So for now, I bide my cubeland hours and work on Plan B.

And while I'm doing that, I watch the sunset.

Can you see the sunset real good on the West side?
You can see it on the East side too.

"You are very likely thinking I’ve lost my mind by now and you may not be terribly far off."

I decided to try these as a reward for some people working really hard this week. It was quite the production, indeed, and I wasn't totally pleased with the results (in my opinion, they were good but not the WOW I had hoped for - but I expected that since I let the dough sit in the refrigerator longer than I'd wanted to).

But, they were gone in 60 seconds and several people requested the recipe. I'd call that a success.

a world of yum

Purchased!

It made my day.

File under: people I would like to be friends with.

Spent way too much time today trolling the internet. Waaaaaay too much time. Most of the people I read about were not people I would like to call friends.

But a handful were creatively inspiring and made me wish I could hang out with them on a regular basis so that we could inspire each other. Examples:

• Ran across this creation via a mommy/designer blog I follow. (I am neither mommy nor designer; however, I enjoy her stories and storytelling method... However, I would not like to be friends with her. Just the musician.)
  
• Was reminded of this, which I got to through a very circuitous internet route starting with Facebook and meandering through sites I hardly ever read (Elle, Us Magazine) and sites I do read occasionally (Salon, Gawker). I used to keep up with his site years ago, before it turned into such an interesting collaborative artistic effort. What a brilliant idea. I hope to contribute someday... but it's kind of intimidating.
• Everything is amazing right now, and nobody's happy.
  
• And finally, this oldie but goodie. I love this lady.
  

iAm a PC.

Yesterday on the drive back to LAX after a work meeting, a coworker was checking her iThing and announced that Steve Jobs had died.

"Oh." That was all iCould muster. iFelt a little bad about that, so iAdded what iThought was an appropriate follow-up comment: "Wow."

And then iWent back to decompressing after the all-day meeting.

iKnow this is monumental - epic, in fact. Like most people my age, iLearned simple commands on a Mac at summer computer camp (um, you went to computer camp as a kid, right? it wasn't just me, right?). iWatched most people my age move into the Mac world at one point or another over the past decade and rave about the products. iUsed to live in the Bay Area where the annual Macworld was a mecca for geeks worldwide. When iNeeded a new computer iAsked for advice and all iGot was "OMG YOU MUST BUY AN APPLE." A flight attendant asked everyone to turn off "everything that starts with an 'i'" before we took off the other day.

But iAm a late adopter who just wants to be able to send an email now and then, preferably from the comfort of my couch, and listen to music on something portable, and edit photos occasionally. iHave not followed Apple. Like, at all. iBought an early version of the iPod several years after the first was released, mostly on a whim. iAppreciate my hand-me-down iTouch and Nano but really, iWould never have purchased them if left to my own devices. There are so many other products that do all iNeed for a much cheaper price. And iHate typing on those tiny keypads.

And then it occurred to me (and thus ends the snippy i's). Without Mr. Jobs, I would not have access to all these other, cheaper products. And then I saw this quote: "We’re born, we live for a brief instant, and we die. It’s been happening for a long time. Technology is not changing it much — if at all."

[Ed. note: you know what? Never mind. I still like the quotes and I still hope he has free wifi though.] I've seen many similar humble posts on Facebook and elsewhere, and I now realize he was just a regular, stand up guy... who happened to be a genius billionaire.

So thank you, Steve. I hope you are comfortable and happy in your new home, wherever that may be. I'm sure there's free wifi. If there's not, there will be soon. iJust know it.

________________
Another fave: "I think it’s brought the world a lot closer together, and will continue to do that. There are downsides to everything; there are unintended consequences to everything. The most corrosive piece of technology that I’ve ever seen is called television — but then, again, television, at its best, is magnificent."

Also, I have 23 songs about ghosts.

I'm supposed to be working this afternoon, so naturally I decided to see who would win in a vampire/zombie song title-off in my iTunes collection.

I mean, really, which would YOU rather do?

It was a pretty close call but if you count anything with "Dracula" in the title, the vampires eeked past the zombies. Just barely. As it should be. However, if the contest was based on the song title, Sufjan Stephens would win for the brain eaters with his marvelous song, "They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back From the Dead!! Ahhhhh!"

I might finally tackle that Decemberists pie chart too. Every new album they release makes it a bigger and more arduous project... Wait - someone already did it for me! I LOVE YOU, INTERNET!

I laughed out loud when she said it tonight at the end of yoga class.

the best magnet I've seen all year