Oh, Hal. It's like a car wreck. But how can I NOT watch??
[Editor's note: This f'ing thing is TWO HOURS LONG??? Holy hell. Oh and despite the pain of the other "performers," Hal did remarkably well given that I only know of his love of KISS.
If only it was actually for charity. Or maybe if Michael Bolton or Randy Travis wasn't involved.]
Next time I decide to take a sick day, remind me not to do it on the anniversary of a major natural disaster and subsequent national debacle. Sooooo not helping the mood.
Usually I don't consider buying a magazine based solely on a cover caption. But today at the grocery store I resisted the urge to buy this. It was hard, but I resisted.
So sexy it hurts!
As he so blatantly pointed out during an award intro with Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert lost to BARRY MANILOW. That was the only time I laughed out loud during the show. There's still 47 minutes to go, but I'm pretty confident that my statement will hold out. (And still I watch. Every fucking awards show, I watch. MTV Video awards this Thursday! Have I seen a music video in the last 12 months? Nope! Will I watch? Hell yeah!)
Not coindendentally, all the Arrested Development (read: genius) actors lost. To? WHO THE HELL CARES? has-beens. Or who-the-hell-are-they? shows.
The Emmys are sooooo last year... Even Her Majesty agrees.
There's now a DVD that recounts some of the more famous performances in the history of Coachella. Since I am officially proclaiming myself "too old" to attend a festival like that (3 days sleeping in a tent then standing and sweating in the dirt amongst thousands of young hippie types all day), I got to live vicariously for an hour and a half. Three observations:
You know, about 10 minutes after it starts, how it's going to end. It's the in-between that is worth the price of admission.
Five things that made me tired this week, in no particular order:
(But when has that ever stopped me before?)
I went in search of specific photos tonight. I have so many of them, I just know I do. Sadly, it seems that I left all my bershon photos in Maryland. Here in my California apartment, I do have lots of photos of me + alcohol! Go figure.
But in the true spirit of bershon, I bring you the shark gingerbread house. Created by me and another clearly-single person, upon completion it sat in a coworker's office until I noticed bugs crawling on it about a year later. Note the attention to detail! The gummy heads on stakes! The food coloring running down the fangs at the front door! What bitter creativity! Low sodium! No calories!
Email from a friend:
> Subject: Snakes on a Plane Soundtrack
>
> This is the first time I've looked at an album on iTunes and seen the
> little "Explicit" label on EVERY SINGLE SONG.
My reply:
> That's because it's SNAKES... ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!!!
I can't wait to see this movie.
Last week I did an exercise in which I had to state where I fell on the "relationship/task" continuum. You'll be shocked to learn that I was practically falling off the edge of "relationship."
Later that day I did another exercise in which I had to state what drains me, what re-energizes me, and something else. I thought the answer I gave to "what re-energizes me" was pretty lame at the time - I said I liked being alone and watching lots of TV. Lame ... but true. I also like to hike and write and be artsy and do charitable work, but under the pressure to answer the question those replies didn't occur to me. (Or maybe I was just thinking about what I'd rather be doing at the moment the question was posed.)
Today I was thinking about my answer, and I decided it's actually not lame. I was a sociology major in college - I was taught to observe. With TV, with most media actually, I don't care much about the plot. I just enjoy observing how people interact with each other. It's fairly easy to skip past the Hollywood spin of "how people are supposed to act" and find the real world of "how people do act."
And the best part is that I don't have to be personally involved with any of them.
This is the third month in a row I've forgotten to pay a bill. It's been a different bill every time, but this month I got dinged because it was a credit card bill.
Considering my wall calendar is still on July, and my America: the Calendar daily calendar hasn't progressed past August 1, I'm doubting one of these on my desk at home would do me any good. If I keep forgetting to pay my credit card bill, I won't be able to afford it anyway...
________________
Really now. $88? Who actually buys those things??
Five memorable things about my Half Dome hike this weekend, in no particular order:
... today I spent a good portion of the day looking around in admiration at these really smart people I have the privilege to work with. (Well, most of them are really smart, anyway.) It occurred to me that instead of bitching and moaning about my self-imposed weaknesses, I should be grateful and honored that I was asked to participate, and participate to whatever extent I am comfortable and confident.
Then I got a little sad about the thought of leaving because I wouldn't be working with these people anymore.
Then I thought about day-to-day life at work and remembered that I could always meet these people for happy hour after I start a job I actually enjoy ...
Exhibit A. (I can't stop laughing.)
Exhibit B. (Although I'd venture to say that she looks more like a Garbage Pail Kid, or that scary little girl in Finding Nemo... or an Eels album cover... than anything Tim Burton could come up with. But I have to agree with the "looks like something a emo girl would have tattooed on her lower back and then publish a picture of on her MySpace page" sentiment.)
This makes me very sad.
But not nearly as sad (and disgusted) as this. (Don't click on it. Just don't. I seriously hope this dude is completely mentally incapacitated. Otherwise... I know people who have guns that I can borrow. And I know how to use them.)
And now for some cute animal cruelty! (Click on this link. Please. Click. Now. It's nauseatingly cute. The 2 min 10 second mark brings you this exasperated beratement from the owner: "Tsk... He just doesn't care.") Well, um, yeah. Because he's a TURTLE. A damn cute turtle.
Yunno... If I had any kind of sophisticated videocam ability, I would soooo be YouTubing Her Majesty's recent fondness for "swimming" (where she lies on her back and waves her arms in the air when I rub her tummy).
Thank GOD I do not have any kind of sophisticated videocam ability.
Somewhat related... I was reading a New Yorker article on the evolution of Wikipedia today, and the founder basically said one of the few checks and balances about posting on the site - content must have been published previously - was developed to ensure that the site didn't turn into people paying homage to their pets.
Appropos of nothing, today's featured Wikipedia article is about cane toads. "Sometimes I call him Greeny, sometimes I call him Red, sometimes I call him Cane..."
For someone who has deliberately removed ESPN, ESPN2 and any other sports networks from her pre-programmed TV scanning, I sure have watched a lot of sports entertainment this weekend.
I'm in the process of finishing up Sports Night.* I really don't understand why they cancelled this show, other than the observation that, as with most second seasons, this one's second season is slightly weak. They're busting out all this relationship crap, and someone's in therapy, and now the two co-anchors are fighting about salaries and status. I'm pretty sure that given another go, the third season would've come around and I'd still be watching the show on network TV. But then Peter Krause wouldn't have done Six Feet Under, and... Well, in the end, I guess the tradeoff was fair.
And then today I saw Tassafranga... Tallafrasca... That Will Ferrell Nascar movie. (I can never remember the real name of the place.) It was as good as "they" say. Kinda like Dodgeball, only kicked up a few notches with all the visible ad-libbing and Ferrell's stellar-yet-subtle parody of George Bush throughout the film.
________________
*I'm starting to think the networks have it in for Ron Howard. Both Sports Night and Arrested Development were cancelled after two seasons.
... I guess it takes more than two occurrences, and the same network responsible for both, to make it a true conspiracy though.
The best part about being done with marathon training is that I don't have to bug other people to F5 the ticketbastard site at 10am every other Sunday to buy me tickets to a show.
And the best part about today is that I got a ticket for the Decemberists in October. This is turning out to be the year of good shows.
I have recently fallen in love with Stacy's Pita Chips and Morningstar Farms Chik'n Strips. (Though it still bugs me when meatless products call themselves "Chik'n.")
I'm now on a mission to find new favorite foods that ends in "ips."
Make that three times this past week I've run (if you assume a Sunday->Saturday week). The original plan was to run around the lake twice, just to get some distance in since I'm no longer running those long Sunday runs. But it was hot. And I forgot my iPod armband holder thingie so I had to hold it the whole time. And I didn't have any water with me. And it was hot. And I'd only eaten some yogurt and granola all day. And did I mention it was hot?
It's not that I couldn't have run around twice, easily. I hope I can get back into the mentality of running longer distances by myself. If not, or at least until the weather cools off, I hope running 3 miles 5 times a week burns as many calories as running 5 miles 3 times a week.
And I hope I can drag my ass out of bed 5 mornings a week.
