Next thing you know, I'll be a football wife.

For someone who has deliberately removed ESPN, ESPN2 and any other sports networks from her pre-programmed TV scanning, I sure have watched a lot of sports entertainment this weekend.

I'm in the process of finishing up Sports Night.* I really don't understand why they cancelled this show, other than the observation that, as with most second seasons, this one's second season is slightly weak. They're busting out all this relationship crap, and someone's in therapy, and now the two co-anchors are fighting about salaries and status. I'm pretty sure that given another go, the third season would've come around and I'd still be watching the show on network TV. But then Peter Krause wouldn't have done Six Feet Under, and... Well, in the end, I guess the tradeoff was fair.

And then today I saw Tassafranga... Tallafrasca... That Will Ferrell Nascar movie. (I can never remember the real name of the place.) It was as good as "they" say. Kinda like Dodgeball, only kicked up a few notches with all the visible ad-libbing and Ferrell's stellar-yet-subtle parody of George Bush throughout the film.

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*I'm starting to think the networks have it in for Ron Howard. Both Sports Night and Arrested Development were cancelled after two seasons.

... I guess it takes more than two occurrences, and the same network responsible for both, to make it a true conspiracy though.

New slang.

The best part about being done with marathon training is that I don't have to bug other people to F5 the ticketbastard site at 10am every other Sunday to buy me tickets to a show.

And the best part about today is that I got a ticket for the Decemberists in October. This is turning out to be the year of good shows.

They're crumbelievable.

I have recently fallen in love with Stacy's Pita Chips and Morningstar Farms Chik'n Strips. (Though it still bugs me when meatless products call themselves "Chik'n.")

I'm now on a mission to find new favorite foods that ends in "ips."

They say I'm mental but I'm just confused.

Make that three times this past week I've run (if you assume a Sunday->Saturday week). The original plan was to run around the lake twice, just to get some distance in since I'm no longer running those long Sunday runs. But it was hot. And I forgot my iPod armband holder thingie so I had to hold it the whole time. And I didn't have any water with me. And it was hot. And I'd only eaten some yogurt and granola all day. And did I mention it was hot?

It's not that I couldn't have run around twice, easily. I hope I can get back into the mentality of running longer distances by myself. If not, or at least until the weather cools off, I hope running 3 miles 5 times a week burns as many calories as running 5 miles 3 times a week.

And I hope I can drag my ass out of bed 5 mornings a week.

Belated Friday five.

• 5 = days I actually had to work last week (oh the HORROR!!).
• 4 = songs they played last night that I really, really wanted to hear (my favorite song, my next misguided wedding song, that song that all the older folks in the crowd knew because they play it on KFOG and it's not their greatest song by far but it always puts me in a good mood, and the song I dedicate to work).
• 3 = I forget what 3 was for.
  
• 2 = times I ran last week (it was supposed to be 4, oh well).
  
• 1 = weekends in the past year I've slept past noon (today).
  

When I woke up tonight I said I'm gonna make somebody buy product.

I don't care that selling out isn't really selling out if you're a small(ish) band that is just trying to make some money. I don't care if it exposes you to new audiences and helps you pay for your tour expenses and hookers and drugs.

However!! It REALLY bugs me that I just heard a somewhat clever Franz Ferdinand song as the background to some hair product commercial. And the other oldie but goodie that soon followed - ""CRUMBELIEVABLE""??? The dumbest, yet catchiest, and best, (and only?) song EMF ever did is selling a goddamned Kraft product for people too lazy to shred cheese??

I know I'm repeating myself, but PEOPLE, PLEASE. This is even worse than no one making a decent, brand-new movie because all the movie makers are too lazy to create something new. Instead they just want to remake, sequel, remake, sequel, remake*.

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* Oh come on. It's been made in some shape or form already.

First rule of life: never call it "a case of the Mondays."

That's how my day was. From cover sheets on the TPS reports... to flair... to 'can I get that in cornflower blue?'...

Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam?

This is my life and it's ending one minute at a time.

43 lines about one woman.

> 1. FIRST NAME? jennifer
> 2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? i believe my name is informally carried on from the countless virginias of the family
> 3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? some bloody soup commercial, i'm sure
> 4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? not at all
> 5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? morningstar farms "chicken" patty
> 6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? most days, yes
> 7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? exhibit a.
> 8. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? who, me? neeeeeeeeverrrrrrrrrrrrr.
> 9. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? yes
> 10. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? no but i want to skydive someday soon
> 11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? grape nuts
> 12. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? yes - how else would I take them off?
> 13. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? most days, yes
> 14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? ben & jerrys peanut butter cup
> 15. WHAT SIZE SHOE? 7
> 16. RED OR PINK? neither
> 17. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? my temper
> 18. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? at the moment, riley
> 19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? raiders satin jammies (yeah baby) and no shoes
> 20. LAST THING YOU ATE? carrots and a piece of buttermilk oatmeal bread
> 21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? alton brown's new show
> 22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? cerulean - cool name, vibrant color
> 23. FAVORITE SMELL? fresh baked bread
> 24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? a friend from my unpaid job
> 25. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? left hand, ring finger
> 26. FAVORITE DRINK? a good merlot
> 27. FAVORITE SPORT? hockey
> 28. EYE COLOR? hazel
> 29. HAT SIZE? small
> 30. CONTACTS? sometimes
> 31. FAVORITE FOOD? pizza
> 32. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? scary movies
> 33. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIES? clerks 2
> 34. COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? white (with raiders logo... i am all about the coordinated jammies, my friend)
> 35. SUMMER OR WINTER? winter
> 36. HUGS OR KISSES? hugs
> 37. FAVORITE DESSERT? fruit... or a nice port
> 38. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? the brothers k
> 39. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? a ouija board
> 40. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? behind the scenes on good eats, then a bunch of sports night episodes on dvd (i forgot what a great show that was)
> 41. ROLLING STONE OR BEATLES? beatles
> 42. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? sydney
> 43. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? maryland

I wish my cousin would stop sending me these things. I just cannot resist no matter how hard I try. Or, I wish the questions were about things people might be interested in. Cupie doll for the person who asks the most bizarre question in the comments...

Of all the entries in The Office promo contest...

... and believe me, I just wasted a shitload of time watching a bunch of them ... I think this one is my favorite.

This one hit a little too close to home, though.

I am buying all their albums IMMEDIATELY.

Four guys + one fun song + six treadmills + one take = another GENIUS video from OK Go...

Technology at its finest.

I was doing a little shopping yesterday and overheard two teenage cashiers talking about the girl's failing relationship. The girl mentioned that she was going to have to end it, and joked that she might just put it on his MySpace page.

Now, I knew Kid Rock was lame, but I never thought he could be even lamer than a teenage girl's bad joke.

Why I am single ...

... exhibit #679.

Ever since I read this, it's been really hard to watch her show without wanting to throw things at the screen whenever his face appears. She adored him, clearly, and this is how he pays her back... Niiiiiice.

This is the life.

Woke up fairly early, spent an hour at the gym. Came home and enjoyed a leisurely breakfast before heading to the city for a facial. Did a little shopping, went to a volunteer meeting, then headed to ceramics class.

Oh yeah, I could be retired.

Breaking news!!

We interrupt this blog to bring you BREAKING NEWS!! We just had an earthquake... We don't know the magnitude, the damage or if there were any injuries. We just wanted to plant a little fear in your House-watching hearts!!

And now, back to your show.

Why I love Owen Wilson...

... exhibit #427.

(I dunno why but this really made me laugh.)

Damn Yankees.

And this was like Fight Club meets Bend It Like Beckham meets The Outsiders... Only a little more predictable.

However! At least I got my ironing done while I was watching it.

All I want for Christmas is...

... this guy. Or maybe these guys.

And suddenly, the plot thickens.

I got REALLY SICK of hearing about the Mel Gibson debacle REALLY QUICKLY... Especially being on vacation this week and doing lots of channel surfing during my extended breakfasts. Even CNN was covering the story, every hour on the hour, for pete's sake. It was all too stupid and attention-grabbing and "so what if Jesus was Jewish Mel made a lot of fucking money off that 'film'."

Then I heard that he had to halt plans for a miniseries about the Holocaust... and I just had to sigh at the irony. And hope for his swift demise. Or at least pray for a good South Park episode about the whole thing.

If there is a God in heaven, Tom will be next...

"Sir, this is the DMV, not a dating service."

It was like Fight Club meets Memento meets "Sloth" from Se7en... Only a little more predictable.

However! Never let it be said that Christian Bale will not go to extremes for a character role. {Yeeeeeesh.}

Can I call 'em or what...

I was pretty much right on the mark on this one, only I DID get the jokes - I just didn't think they were funny. Whatever keeps Jason Mewes sober, I guess. Kevin Smith does have a knack for creating believably intimate scenes* between characters, I will give him that. (And the Star Wars/LOTR scene did make me laugh out loud several times.)

On the other side of the genre spectrum was Shopgirl. I think I liked it. Mostly, it just made me sad. But I'm liking Jason Schwartzman more and more.

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* To clarify, I'm not referring to the donkey/Sexy Stud scene - I mean the ones between Becky and Dante. (Yeah, it was that kind of movie. Sigh.)