Laughing to keep from crying.

Me and You and Everyone We Know will probably not like this movie very much. Unless you liked this movie a lot, in which case you will probably like it quite a bit.

And speaking of Tom Solondz, I didn't care for the film itself but I liked what he did with Palindromes - switching out the main character with multiple different actresses throughout the film made it seem like this situation could apply to anyone, anywhere. It also upped the "depressing" factor by about 12 because of that, though.

"You lie there and be ironical."

If I'd only gotten to episode five in the series, I would've been SO VERY hooked before the movie was even a concept in Joss's geeky brain. I got the emotion, the characters, the everything he was trying to convey. And yeah, now I'm SO VERY hooked.

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And um, can you believe this is a Wikipedia entry? I'm not sure if I should be appalled, or amused... or indifferent...

Funk not only moves, it can re-move, dig?

I am so very tired of this funk I've been in for the past two weeks. I don't even know the cause of it - usual suspects of Paid Job and Unpaid Job and Lack Of Overall Life are no more prevalent than usual. Although it has been an odd few weeks at Paid Job. And Unpaid Job, now that I think about it. Not unbearable, just odd.

Lately all I've wanted to do is come home, watch TV, hang out with Her Majesty, eat crappy food, not go to the gym and feel guilty about not going to the gym. And it's getting old.

So I beg of you. If I must have the funk, make my funk the P. Funk. It's got a much better beat than the funk I'm in now.

Thought o' the day.

It's far less depressing to get an email saying "we've decided to fill this position with an internal candidate" than it is to get an email saying "you suck."

I'm not crazy, I'm a scientologist.

Oh dear GOD. If I ever push a 5 to 9 pound tiny squirming person out of my body you had better believe there will be mass amounts of drugs and screaming, and probably an iPod playing at full blast, involved.

At least Tom doesn't have to worry about Tony calling him. (Check out comment #3. My sentiments exactly.)

Where is that damn t-shirt, anyway??

But... they give me free tickets.

Leave it to Moby to spoil a good thing. At least he redeemed himself with this other post.

"In other news... *the dead walk the earth*!"

What's that? Well, of course I loved Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. What a silly question.

"Gun control means using both hands."

A while back, a friend sent me a link to this site. I've been thinking about it off and on since hoping to have an intelligent response... Haven't gotten very far with that, other than to say that the "eye for an eye" theory doesn't resound with me, I wish guns didn't exist, I don't see the fun in hunting animals just so you can stuff them and display them proudly in your den, I'm so very tired of our country being reactive to problems instead of proactive... but I don't think it's realistic to make guns illegal in our current (figurative and literal) state.

In my efforts to come up with an intelligent response, I ran across a site where stats come alive! I don't know about you, but being 8th on this list doesn't make me too happy. Nor does being 9th on this list. Other fun stats:

• I wonder what Liechtenstein's secret is?
• Hey, look, we're not #1!
  
• If I lived in Yemen, I'd be having my mid-life crisis right about now.
• Forget Canada. I'm heading to Denmark...
  

90 degrees to the rest of the world.

Today this song and this song are particularly relevant. I am hoping it's just a phase.

"I’ve been making shows of trading blows...

just hoping no one knows... that I've been going through the motions ... walking through the part ... nothing seems to penetrate my heart ...."

Today I learned (is this getting old yet?) that there is a local theater group performing Once More With Feeling. I'm really not sure how I feel about that. But I have inquired about tickets.

I also discovered that it's pretty easy to give constructive feedback when you are emotionally detached from a situation. And finally, it's next to impossible to have a thoughtful reaction to something when you are presented with the fact that two entities are moving in polar opposite directions and both directions directly impact you.

Less vague, more Buffy: "Where’s there’s life, there’s hope. Everyday’s a gift. Wishes can come true. Whistle while you work. So hard. All day. To be like other girls. To fit in in this glittering world. Don’t give me songs... Give me something to sing about. I need something to sing about."

Extraordinary machine... ?

Today I learned that I do not like Fiona Apple's new album.

Kudos to the Sally O'Malleys of the world.

Not that she reads this blog, or that she knows about this blog, or that she NEEDS to know about this blog... but today is my mom's 65th birthday. Happy birthday, Mom.

I talked with her today. As usual the conversation went all over the place*, but she did spend some time telling me about her navy blue shoe shopping success and how she wants to get a similar pair of black ones to wear when she's dead. Apparently, they're quite comfy.

(Mom has always been rather aware of, and rather blatant about, her mortality. Ever since I can remember she's reminded us that she wants to be cremated and her ashes sprinkled over her parents' grave sites, despite the fact that my father wants her to be buried next to him and it's illegal to sprinkle ashes... Hey - maybe that could be my felony!)

I called upon those hours upon hours of watching Six Feet Under and reminded her that you can't see shoes in a coffin. She stated (again) that she wants to be cremated. I said, "then what the hell do you need 'dying' shoes for?" And she laughed. And I laughed.

This type of conversation with one's own parental unit probably sounds awful. Morbid. Disrespectful. But really, it's just honest. Recently I have been blatantly aware of how little time I have left with my parents. I want to know about all their medical situations. I want to advise them on how to make the best of their situation with their crappy doctor. I want to honor their requests around ceremonies and services and burials, and have therefore had to ask a lot of weird questions, and use a lot of weird humor while doing so. And them sending a copy of their wills was just eerie.

I have seen my friends go through parental losses and have tried to be a better daughter as a result. I have realized how much I care about them and how much they have sacrificed for me. I have also been painfully aware of the fact that I'm 3000 miles away and don't talk to them nearly enough.

But not enough to move BACK THERE. They are more than welcome to move out here, but I am not going BACK THERE.

Dammit.

I'm not.

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* She's not on the verge of Alzheimers or anything... she's just old. And retired. And has a lot to say about it. And a lot of free time with which to do so.

"We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings."

Today I learned several things:

• the remake of "Masters of War" by Pearl Jam is a surprisingly good workout song
• Beverages & More is doing it's periodic "buy one the second one is $0.05" sale (woohoo!)
  
• clarifying the "die!" that you scream at the asshole who keeps cutting you off on the road with "...someday!" really lessens the guilt that follows
• Fiona Apple has a new album
• I can do the elliptical for 40 minutes, burn 350 calories, and still walk afterward
  

By sharing, am I leveraging? Scott Adams wants to know.

Happy days indeed.

Arrested Development is back. Scott Baio is now a character. If they bring Joanie Cunningham in as a guest love interest I might have to protest, but for now... Happy happy joy joy.

Snot rockets.

Yeah, it's that kind of post.

I've been doing this thing lately where I reflect upon what I learned during the day. So, for example, yesterday I learned that weddings can be fun.

Today I learned (saw it firsthand, in fact) that there really are people who shoot snot out of their noses instead of using tissues. This particular guy was in a friend's car at the time, and nicely opened the car door before shooting his snot rocket, but missed the ground and hit the car door instead. So he wiped it with his hand and wiped his hand on his jeans. It seemed to defeat the whole purpose of the activity.

... I'm starting to rethink this whole "learn something new every day" concept.

"Violence is going to ensue!"

Surely I am not the only one amongst us Joss fans (well, that wasn't with me tonight) who has seen Serenity. Surely I'm not.

Oh. My. God.

I haven't been this into a movie since the first installment of Lord of the Rings. Not that it remotely reached that caliber or anything, but man, was I into it. It started out kind of slow, then picked up and didn't slow down. Not once. It had its holes* and flaws** but overall just exemplified the vision of someone*** who's watched The Empire Strikes Back, the Matrix and Cowboy Bebop one too many times... but not in a bad way... and then finally gets ample funding to have a really good time making a really good movie.

This is all in my humble opinion. Of course. Oh, and Nathan Fillion? HOT. Have I mentioned that lately?

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* The most pointed, to me, being that if River is really psychic she should've been able to see all the bad stuff (not just the Reaver sitches) before it happened and prevent it. I'm hoping that the DVD series, which I am just delving into, explains the limitations around her psychic abilities.

** Is Mal's wardrobe any suggestion of how the boys will be dressing in 500 years? Yeesh. And um, Inara, where did all your clothing changes come from? Did you really bring them with you when you fled? Or were those the "sundries" you left behind on the ship?

*** I really have to wonder. Is the strong female character so common across his work a direct result of his mom dying when he was younger? I'm sure there are web sites and geek conferences and water cooler conversations devoted to this topic.

Spam spam spam spam.

Latest favorite spam subject: "cattle, will it work out?"

I don't know about you, but I think that's a perfectly reasonable question.

File under: recently viewed.

Saw: one of the best thrillers I have seen in a long time. Kind of a mix of Silence of the Lambs plus Scream plus... um... Vulgar. I don't know - I made all that up - but it held my attention and caught me off guard at the end. Attentive viewers will get it right away.

And movies I wish I hadn't bothered with, because I only made it through about 30 minutes before I gave up:

• L.I.E.
• Cry Happy Funny
• The Tao of Steve
• National Treasure
• Mystery Science Theater 3000: Mitchell
  

Value add.

Over the past few days I have really begun to question the value I am bringing to my job. Jobs. Paid and unpaid.

If I left, would I be missed? Would they replace me, or would they restructure the work I was doing to better fit into the overall strategy (as well as the line-towing mentality) and hire accordingly? Would they remember the questions I raised and see them as valid issues to address going forward?

These are all rhetorical questions. I think I partly know the answers though. And I think I partly agree with the answers... which really bugs me... but it's a direct result of having a bloody forehead from all the headbanging.

So for now I'll fantasize re-enacting the scene from that commercial where the guy walks into a meeting and says "Sorry I'm late - had a job interview. NAILED IT!"

And I'll keep raising the questions.

Those crazy Amish.

Watched Devil's Playground recently, a documentary on Amish teens going though rumspringa (apparently the equivalent of MTV's spring break for college students). This documentary stated that despite what, to the English eye, might seem to be downsides to the Amish way of life (patriarchal societies, horses and buggies, no health care) 90% of kids who go off on rumspringa return to the Amish way of life.

I'm all for shunning technology, working in the fields and/or with your hands - all that jazz. But, aside from the overall sadness I felt for the kids with 8th grade educations who thought that Wal-Mart and alcohol were "the real world"... I couldn't get over the fact that those damn bonnets would just drive me batty.