Getting my groove back.

Most people who know me know that I've had my share of therapy. Probably not enough, in fact, but I've found that pretty much everyone is in need of a little therapy now and then.

This past winter was pretty rough for many reasons. One of these reasons had to do with not knowing what I wanted to be when I grew up. Okay, I know we never ever really know what we want to be when we grow up, but I'd gotten to the point (again) where I felt like there should be more to life than pushing paper in cubeland, no matter how worthwhile cubeland professed to be. This, along with several other reasons that I won't go into here, encouraged me to get some help moving past the winter "meh."

So I went back and did some soul-searching. Part of my work this time involved an incredibly tedious and annoying but informative exercise where for every hour of every day I wrote down what I was doing, who I was with, and how I felt.

Every. Hour. Of. The. Day. I did this for three weeks straight. Did I mention that it was tedious?

What I knew was reinforced - I am happier during creative endeavors, I like community and camaraderie (and yet, like Randall, I hate people, how ironic), I like closure and I don't like spending days on end updating spreadsheets or having my time wasted. So that's helped shape my recent work and life pursuits.

The best side effect of the tedium was learning how to be in tune with my mood at any given moment. It sounds so simple, right? I'm happy/not happy RIGHT NOW because... But instantly recognizing where you're at (and how you got there, and how to redirect the negative energy into something positive) is not always easy, or pleasant, for that matter. Sometimes things build up in your subconscious and your pencil point breaking during a meeting can be the cause of your meltdown, and that's just the way it goes.

It's still a work in progress (and I suspect this will be true for the rest of my life) but I've definitely enjoyed the power of tuning in and then turning off or redirecting as appropriate. On top of this, yoga has helped with reminders to be present and put things into perspective. Will anyone die because the client gets a deliverable that's 90% instead of 100%. Um, no... and it's pretty likely they won't even notice the 10% of diminished return.

Unless they are a crazy perfectionist like you. In which case, you both need a vacation already.

________________
This post brought to you by the top five regrets of people on their deathbeds. I'm taking #2 and #5 to heart.