Get bent, TAX MAN!

It's a good thing my old company sent me a bonus check today, which I wasn't supposed to get since I didn't work through March of this year, because now I can afford to pay for the extra money the IRS claims I owe.

Except that I don't. Whoever entered my withholdings for 2006 reversed two of the numbers, making it look like a difference of $261 is still owed. Naturally there is no clear way to appeal the revised "amount due by 4/26" letter I received today with this information.

The process that is about to ensue, to get this all cleared up, is almost enough of a freaking headache that I want to just pay the damn $261 and be done with it. It took me 5 years to get a fraudulent credit card charge cleared up and I'm sure this will be a very similar drawn out debacle, which will take several years of credit report monitoring to ensure that things get cleared up as they should be.

But I'm having too much fun writing the condescending reply letter (oh and also it's 261 freaking dollars) to give in that easily:

Dear Franchise Tax Board,
It is my great pleasure to inform you that I DID NOT, in fact, INCORRECTLY COMPUTE the tax amount on my return as you so blatantly accused in your 4/11/07 letter. Please review the enclosed copies of my W2 (see item #17 "State income tax"), tax return (line 32 total payments and credits) and personal check in the amount of X (the amount of which, by the way, barely covers the payroll for the time it took your unfortunately dyslexic clerk to mistype some information, and send me this bloody letter).

Etc., etc... You get the gist.

I do fully intend to be condescending and I'm sure that will have some negative impact on some record of my existence somewhere in the country. But in the words of the great Billy Bragg, "if you've got a blacklist, I wanna be on it."

Especially if it's a Franchise Tax Board blacklist. I fucking hate taxes.

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No offense to the dyslexics, of course. I have been known to be one, myself, when it comes to numbers. I just think that if you do have dyslexia, perhaps accounting is not the profession for you.

I'm also debating whether to even let my old company know I got a bonus check. It's not my fault they forgot to terminate me on the correct date. I was good and returned THAT 2-week paycheck immediately. Maybe this recent windfall is my come-uppance for putting up with so much crap for nine years?