Running to stand still.

I think I've changed my mind. I think I prefer to run outside, versus running on the treadmill. I can keep my pace better on the treadmill, but there is something to be said for fresh air and actually GOING SOMEWHERE when you run.

Almost half a half marathon!

Today I ran 6 miles - the longest I've ever run in my life. And I feel fine. (OK, I needed a nap this afternoon - but otherwise I feel fine.)

I'm a bit alarmed that pain and/or insanity hasn't really kicked in yet. My knees are holding up well, my muscles don't ache and I am still showing up at the training site every Sunday at 8am. Maybe paranoia is working to my benefit this time.

The BEST thing about training for a marathon is that I can eat ALL THE CARBS I WANT. Usually I would make sure to only eat one meal a day that revolved mostly around bread. Not any more! Today I had an english muffin for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch and I'm having pizza for dinner. And last night I had pasta and bread.

YAY MARATHON TRAINING!!

Ehhhhh...

What's up, doc?

I had no idea a catnip carrot had just as much appeal as a fuzzy mouse. I can't wait to see what she does to the catnip frog.

THE ONLY reason to watch American Idol...

... (for now anyway) is to see Simon and Seacrest battle it out. Who cares about the contestants?? This is way more entertaining and Simon WILL ALWAYS WIN. Seacrest needs to SIT THE FUCK DOWN.

That is all. AKA, Seacrest out.

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This post inspired by a recent viewing of Kathy Griffin's old HBO special where she talks about how UTTERLY TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLY LAME Seacrest is. Like we didn't already suspect... Kathy Griffin, by the way, is my new hero.

"I have nothing to say...

... I hope you have a nice day. "

And I hope you buy this 15-year old album which is where the quotations come from. It's one of my faves. So sad that the band is now defunct.

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Actually I have a lot to say but I am fearful of what I will actually write since I had two Manhattans within the last hour or so. After which I sat on the bus next to a very talkative older man who was anti-Bush and anti-war-on-Iraq and anti-social-security-BS and pro-me-working-for-the-next-30-years-to-support-him. He was really nice. And he didn't mind that I breathed bourbon every time I said "I KNOW!!" or "YEAH!!"

I will say this though - WHEN IS THE NEXT WHISKEY EXPO??? I want to goooooooo.

A not-so-Friday-5 compilation.

Since I'm off until next Wednesday, I have a little time to catch up on things. Including This Book, which includes a checklist of things you're supposed to acknowledge having no intention of ever doing (to lessen the guilt when you don't ever do them). So I bring you the Top 5 Things I Will Never Do Before I Die:

1. Grow a tail
2. Become world chess champion
3. Understand Einstein
4. Learn the Periodic Table by heart
5. Eradicate hepititis C
   

Unrelated, but not really - Top 5 Things I NEED TO DO BEFORE I DIE - from the same list I had to choose from above:

1. Drink myself silly in New Zealand
2. Acquire a hard-ass nickname
3. Come out of a black hole alive
4. Jump bail
5. Start a revolution
   

And also unrelated - Top 5 Things I've Already Done That Are On This List:

1. Call my father 'pa'
2. Shovel manure
3. Give birth to a goatboy (just seeing if you are paying attention)
4. Blame God for everything
5. Smoke a Cuban cigar (hey - does that count as a felony??)
   

So what will YOU never do?

Morale has improved!

Five miles today and only minor aches in the knees, which the aspercreme is taking care of. AND!! A big breakfast of french toast afterward, because right now I can eat all the carbs I want! AND!! A new version of iTunes which enabled me to update my iPod (which I'd had to totally reset in trying to get it to upload a week ago). AND!! No work tomorrow!

End of exclamation point overuse!!

But really, it's the little things.

Keepin' it real.

I was doing a little cleaning today (read: procrastination of taxes and a little bit of work I need to catch up on) and ran across a birthday card from 5 years ago, from some friends at work. One of the comments was "I hope you maintain your youthful exhuberance and idealism even as you creep (or is that 'creak') toward my age."

Needless to say, it's not looking good.

Everybody was kung fu soccering...

Hilarious. HI-LARIOUS. Steven Chow is my new hero.

Word on the street is that they're doing a Kung Fu Hustle 2. Not much detail around it as of yet. Can I just say - more dancing please??

If only I had a little stuffed monkey...

... this picture would be so much funnier.

Committed. Or, commit me.

One or the other applies. I've sent the emails out about my marathon training. Click here to sponsor me for this absolutely ridiculous endeavor I'll be undertaking.

Or, seriously, commit me to some formal institution who can help with my insanity.

Either way, at least I'll have a milestone to work toward.

And shit.

This is sooooooooo tempting. But I think I will have to ultimately pass. Only because of a previous engagement though.

Not that I wish harm upon anyone but...

Could this story POSSIBLY GET ANY MORE POETIC????

Netflix probably thinks I died.

For the longest time, I was turning movies/TV series around faster than Netflix could send them to me. The last three I received have been sitting next to my TV since 1/11 (one) and 1/20 (the other two).

It's not that I haven't wanted to see these movies. I have. It's just that between out-of-town guests, birthdays, Curb Your Enthusiasm lendings, etc I just haven't gotten around to it. Even my recent bouts of procrastination have not helped the cause.

Finally, last night, I watched Millions. If you want to see THE CUTEST KID EVER say "brilliant" in that way those Brits are fond of doing, watch this movie. (And overall it was quite good. Sorta kinda Amelie-ish, in a sense. Sorta. Kinda.)

One down, two to go. Last night I also started Shaolin Soccer (but didn't finish it - but know I will love it just as I loved Kung Fu Hustle). And someday soon I will watch Batman Begins (I hear it's all dark and creepy - oh and also Christian Bale all muscled up, how could that possibly go wrong?).

End of pop culture hyperlinks for now.

Public service announcement.

Hot Topic is not punk rock.

I don't know who this guy is, but I agree with this lady about that particular song.

No really, everything is fine.

I called three old friends today out of the blue, mainly because I was procrastinating looking for a job. Each had the same overall reaction - "Um... hi! What's wrong? Are you okay? Are you SURE you're okay?"

I think I need to call these people more often.

Lemon juice on ye olde wound.

Now I can't update my iPod. Everything is fine. EVERYTHING IS FINE.

Catching up on people I don't know personally.

After flipping his car on Jan. 26, Walk the Line star Joaquin Phoenix, 31, reached out to Lindsay Lohan, 19. "She was one of the first people Joaquin says he called. She was in tears with him on the phone as he explained how shaken up he was," a source close to Joaquin — who's rumored to have dated Lindsay — says. "Lindsay offered to fly back to L.A. to be by his side, but Joaquin said he was going to be a big boy about it. But I think this incident has made him and Lindsay closer than either of them expected to be." Reps for both say the call never happened.

Regardless of whether the call happened, GAG #1. Dude. I'M 31 - CALL ME.

Gwyneth Paltrow loves living in UK and feels Brits are more intelligent than Americans. The sexy starlet loves the parks in Britain and enjoys exploring her new area. The mother-of-one told Britain's Star magazine: "Brits are far more intelligent and civilised than Americans. I love the fact that you can hail a taxi and just pick up your pram and put in the back of the cab without having to collape it. I love the parks and places I go for dinner and my friends. It's a pretty city, you know." Meanwhile, Paltrow's daughter Apple has both a British and an American passport but doesn't mind her English accent. The blonde star said: "She says 'Mummy' instead of 'Mommy', I don't mind that. I will if she starts saying 'basil' and 'pasta' the English way, as that really drives me nuts."

Yet, WITNESS. GAG #2.

In other non-gaggy news, YAY!

Back to our regularly scheduled program.

Dear. God. Why.

GAG.

That is all.

Sorry, Book That Will Change My Life.

Today was Barter Day, where I was supposed to find as many great barters as possible. Instead, I made an executive decision to make today "DO NOTHING DAY." Or at least, "DO NOTHING I PLANNED TO DO TODAY DAY." I have blown off anything I intended to do*, I'm still in my pj's at 3:30pm, and I'm okay with that.

I think yesterday just sucked the life out of me and I needed a day to recover. At least I have a job. And at least it's not Apron Scratcher, or Mud Boss, or Skull Grinder.

At least I have that going for me.

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* One planned activity was to attend Kevin Smith's panel at the WonderCon. I just couldn't bear the thought of driving/parking in the city (I wanted to go shopping at a non-BART-friendly store afterward), hundreds of people, the unbearable Q&A session where people inevitably asked the stupidest questions... it was all just too much. Maybe I'll watch An Evening with Kevin Smith to make up for it.

I did something equally geeky in place of it though - cleaned up my hard drive and backed the shit up out of everything I possibly could. Yay me.

Mmmmm coffee.

Today is the first day in a week that I've been able to get up and immediately enjoy a cup of coffee. All week I've been going straight to the gym so the coffee intake was delayed by at least 2 hours.

I also slept until 9:30, which is probably going to screw up my whole sleep cycle but I REALLY DON'T CARE. It was truly lovely.

This marathon training is for the birds. Actually, the birds are probably smarter than us crazy humans.

Attention Bloc Party/Lovemakers fans.

You might want to check out the Infadels. I think iTunes actually recommended this to me, and I blindly purchased the album (after sampling a few songs), and I can't say I am disappointed.

The verdict.

Tonight I sampled Little Star Pizza, hailed as San Francisco's version of Zachary's.

Whatever.

Don't get me wrong. It was damn fine pizza. I liked the crust better than Zachary's - more cornmeal, less flaky olive oil dough. And the sauce had more basil. But overall I have to say that I would still kill for one of Zachary's spinach/mushroom deep dish pies. Literally KILL. Their fillings are meatier (so to speak), they use cheese more wisely, and sometimes there is much to be said for a flaky olive oil crust. I have never been disappointed.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Randy told Stephan about shimmy!

Oh, the humanity.

And in other news, Jermaine says curry.

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This post brought to you by SPAM. And speaking of spam-like activities, the fax machine calls continue.

What's cooler than being cool?

I'd have to say an all-guy Go-Go's punk rock cover band.

BUT what's even cooler than that? It would have to be an all-girl Kinks punk rock cover band.

Check them out. I know the drummer for the Minks, so last night I got be all like "yeah whatever I'm with the BAND."

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I'd written something last night about this, and 924 Gilman Street, and how weird that place was, but just weird for us adults, and that it was a good concept that we should support, conceptually... And how they clearly hadn't heard Have Another Drink... But that post disappeared. It was a good post too. Damn.

Belated Friday five.

I know these five things are true:

• I will never, ever again eat at a Chipotle. Even for convenience's sake. Any restaurant that puts instructions for how to eat their food on their napkins is a NO GO in my book.
• I like Nine Inch Nails' remake of Dead Souls much better than Joy Division's original.
• I did not know until today that Joy Division did this song originally.
• If this morning was any indication, the 26-mile run will not be half as difficult as dealing with a bunch of chatty Cathys at 8am every weekend.
• If this afternoon was any indication, Luna is going to need to learn how to actually TALK so that I don't get SEVERELY PISSED at her for waking me from my nap (by sitting on the bed meowing meowing meowing) just because it's her dinnertime. If she could just say "hey I'm hungry" it would make things much more amicable between the two of us.
  

February funnies and some civic obligation stuff. And other local news.

From the Book that Will Change My Life... Yesterday was the day of compliments, where I was supposed to flatter someone and see if it got me anywhere. Examples included "You're not the boss for nothing!", "This is the best memo I've ever read," and "That toupee really suits you!" I am not sure I gave anyone compliments but I know I recently complained about being complimented. Not the same thing.

And then today was "Be Gay For A Day" day, which I TOTALLY didn't take advantage of... Damn.

I should leave this book at work to remind myself to keep up with the daily schedule. Tomorrow shouldn't be a problem because it's "Discretely Give The Finger To People All Day Today" day. As it is, I do that on a regular basis. Surely I can fit some more in tomorrow.

And in other news... From my America: The Calendar 2/1 entry - What Type of Government Best Suits You? Category: Democracy.

• Your typical day - counting your money and deciding which fast food to eat.
• Your pet peeves - voting.
• Your favorite kinds of war - a glorious battle for liberty, preferably fought by proxy army.

And in other news... Speaking of voting. The Oakland Mayoral campaign is in full force. Don't forget to vote! If you want to meet the candidates, there's a local event coming up that I will be sharing with fellow Oaktowners. Please attend!!

And in other local news... I heard a rumor today that Merritt Bakery burned down. Uncomfirmed. But if confirmed, how truly sad. The food is overpriced and not that great, but their cakes are truly awesome. And it's a local monument.

And speaking of local monuments... No!!!! I wrote to request an update and haven't heard anything. If we ALL write he will be guilt-induced into writing back or giving an update. WRITE HIM!!

Do you know how to get your home phone number off someone's fax machine?

If so - do tell. Google was useless on this. And it's DRIVING ME CRAZY... I feel like Elaine.

The race is on and it looks like kneeaches.

Today I ran 3.2 miles (well, ran/walked in a 4 to 1 minute ratio) for the first time in a looooooong time, in prep for the marathon training kickoff this Saturday. I have to complete 3 miles, at my own pace, after which they will tell me my run/walk ratio and match me up with a group of random crazy people who are also running a marathon for the first time.

Stock-savvy folks would be wise to invest in aspercreme, Ryka footwear and Burt's Bees Pedicure Kits. I plan to corner the market on those items in the next six months.

(Did I use that phrase correctly?)