Catching up on people I don't know personally.

After flipping his car on Jan. 26, Walk the Line star Joaquin Phoenix, 31, reached out to Lindsay Lohan, 19. "She was one of the first people Joaquin says he called. She was in tears with him on the phone as he explained how shaken up he was," a source close to Joaquin — who's rumored to have dated Lindsay — says. "Lindsay offered to fly back to L.A. to be by his side, but Joaquin said he was going to be a big boy about it. But I think this incident has made him and Lindsay closer than either of them expected to be." Reps for both say the call never happened.

Regardless of whether the call happened, GAG #1. Dude. I'M 31 - CALL ME.

Gwyneth Paltrow loves living in UK and feels Brits are more intelligent than Americans. The sexy starlet loves the parks in Britain and enjoys exploring her new area. The mother-of-one told Britain's Star magazine: "Brits are far more intelligent and civilised than Americans. I love the fact that you can hail a taxi and just pick up your pram and put in the back of the cab without having to collape it. I love the parks and places I go for dinner and my friends. It's a pretty city, you know." Meanwhile, Paltrow's daughter Apple has both a British and an American passport but doesn't mind her English accent. The blonde star said: "She says 'Mummy' instead of 'Mommy', I don't mind that. I will if she starts saying 'basil' and 'pasta' the English way, as that really drives me nuts."

Yet, WITNESS. GAG #2.

In other non-gaggy news, YAY!

Back to our regularly scheduled program.

Dear. God. Why.

GAG.

That is all.