On being "simply" a writer.

A few months ago I joined several writing groups on LinkedIn. I did this mostly out of curiosity - some groups are travel-related, others are generally aimed at independent writers - and many of my favorite travel writers are members of these groups.

I've made a few new connections and discovered a handful of good resources from these groups but otherwise it seems to be a lot of self-promoting noise. (Like everything else on the internet?)

Recently someone posed this question in a discussion group: "Are you an author, a screenwriter, or simply a writer?" He included a link to his self-promoting blog in which he offered his self-promoting blah blah blah answer for himself and of course, a self-promoting link to his latest book.

When I read the question, I did a double-take. "Simply" a writer? Did he really type the word "simply"? Any writer reading this is probably cringing right now.

So I posted a reply: "I am a writer, but there is nothing 'simple' about it." (Since then a few people - total strangers to me in this new community - have liked my comment and another few have posted a similar retort. Zing!)

For better or worse, though, his question hung around in my head for about a week and I started to give some serious thought to why I write.

Well, not why I write - I know why. It's fun, it's creative, it's something I can truly call my own (those things are few and far between these days), it allows me to express myself without having to do that awkward social talking-to-others thing.

So I don't question why but I do question the purpose - my intended goal or outcome - of writing.

I don't write off the cuff. It doesn't matter what I'm writing about, nor does my intended audience matter - writing is a tedious, detailed process for me. Always has been. I draft, then I edit, then I edit some more, then I sleep on it, then I edit some more, then I edit one last time before "publishing". (Case in point: I've sat on this post for weeks now.) There's a bit of obsessive perfectionism to my method, but I also liken it to the athlete who studies the playback reel so that he can improve in the next game.

But why the perfectionist approach if only ten non-judging dear readers will ever see it? For whom am I trying to improve?

And how will I know if I have improved? I really like feedback, even the hard-to-hear constructive kind of feedback. I kinda need it to feel successful, actually. Would I learn guitar only to hole up in the basement and play to myself? Unlikely. Was cooking fun when it was just for me? Not really. Hell, I even looked forward to annual reviews at work, as bureaucratic and ridiculous as they were at times.  (Also known as "always".)

So apply all that to writing. You ten people are reading this blog because you want to, and that makes me want to keep doing it. But you're a pretty quiet bunch.  To get the feedback fix do I need a bigger audience? Even scarier, do I want that kind of feedback?

Everyone says I should write a book about our year-plus on the road but honestly, I can't imagine who would read it (other than me and maybe you, dear reader... unfortunately that won't pay my bills). Besides, what I have to say is already available in hundreds of blogs by like-minded travelers.

A published article here or there about a specific destination or topic would be an accomplishment, but when I consider the amount of effort it took to give my Canadian national parks road trip story away for free, I most certainly don't have time to look for paid outlets right now.

And while I have great respect for those (except for maybe that "just a writer" guy mentioned above!) who attempt novels, screenplays, television scripts - fiction writing does not appeal to me. I barely have the patience to read made-up stories anymore, let alone write one.

If you were expecting a tidy wrap up, I'm afraid this is going to be a little anticlimactic. After all this self-promoting blah blah blah I am still purposeless. Sigh.

But I will keep at it. Maybe the answer will come to me someday.

A lot of you (ten) dear readers write. Why do you do it?