Will probably need more than nature to get over this one.

I did something really stupid recently, so to temporarily take my mind off that move I decided to seek solace in nature. (But just some quick solace - I had other shit to do today.)

I ran across some information about Carver Park. Close by, and where some of Twilight was filmed. The movie was wretched but the scenery did exemplify Oregon, so I decided to check it out.

Not much to it. Also, empty. I sat by this stream for about an hour and didn't see a soul:

Walking out I was still kicking myself, but despite that I was able to appreciate the beauty of lush, green Oregon.

I could live there. Right there. It's hard to do stupid things to trees.

HA-ha!

(Was that mean?)

Friday five.

Five things I am excited about as a result of recent events, in no particular order:

• Watching east coast hockey face-offs at 4:30pm.
• A temporary halt in screenplay idea additions, but actually having time and energy to work on the damned screenplay. (And/or novel. Whatever.)
• Fall in the PNW.
• Testing the limits of my frugality.
• Getting my priorities straight, my shit together and my act figured out. (And/or having lots of fun. Whatever.)

It's gonna be the BEST. FALL. EVER.

Astrology shmastrology.

Monday's horoscope: You might get carried away with your feelings now and announce them at work before you consider the consequences of such an emotional disclosure. It's not that there is anything inherently wrong with sharing your inner process; it's just that you cannot take back what you say once it's out there. Today is one of those days when saying fewer words is surely better than talking too much.

Tuesday's: Although you are quite focused on your professional development now, you can also step back to take a longer view of your goals as the Sun enters your 9th House of Future Vision. However, balancing the fantasy of your ideal situation with your current responsibilities may not be all that easy. Pushing anything too far today will only make it more complicated.

Today's: Others might see you as less stable than usual, but that's just because they don't understand what's driving your decisions. You have an unorthodox approach to life and you are able to rationalize your eccentric ideas. Unfortunately, your co-workers might not share your perspective and the more you try to convince them you are right, the less they understand. Don't push so hard today; letting some things ride for a day or two may be your smartest strategy at this time.

Why is everything telling me not to push and to be cautious? That's how I've been my entire life. I think it's time for change. Change I can believe in.

Things that are free.

The Multnomah County Library system. Most trails in the PNW. The MAX to downtown Portland, conveniently located 10 blocks from my abode. The Portland Art Museum on the last Friday each month. (Lots of museums, actually, dates/times vary.) The occasional show at Mississippi Studios. Samples at the farmer's market. The wiener dog races. Shows and movies and food via Yelp for us "elite" folk.

Teh intarwebs, given the right equipment and location, can be free. iTunes has a free download each week. And if the "right location" is Starbucks, that's another free weekly download.

Writing. Watching, observing. Listening. Volunteering for worthy organizations. All free.

I'm just saying. I could live a good long while on free stuff. Might come in handy soon. (Note to self - maintain that Yelp elite status... will be interesting to do without spending money but I bet I can find a way.)

In other news, I found a new blog to follow religiously.

MusicFestNW, Day 5.

The only option tonight was the Crystal Ballroom for three bands leading up to the end of Musicfest NW 2009, Modest Mouse. I love their recorded stuff but as of yet, hadn't seen them, and figured I should at some point. I really wasn't feeling it - especially given all the negative feedback I'd heard about Isaac Brock's performances (drunk, unintelligible, a waste of time) and the fact that I rate the Crystal Ballroom as the worst venue to see a show in Portland.

So in case I decided to opt out, but to keep with the "musicfest" theme, I saw a matinee of It Might Get Loud. WOW. Jimmy Page, The Edge and Jack White talking about making music and playing each others' songs together? With rarely seen old footage of Page and Edge's early years? Fans of any of these three, or even just of the guitar, or music in general, should see this. It was quite entertaining to watch Jack attempt to be so nonchalant about the meetup even though it was clear when they were all talking and playing, that he was pretty stoked.

And so I was inspired, and the Crystal show would essentially be free (what with the pre-paid wristband, which had already paid for itself). I killed some time in a local record store, got a quick dinner and headed in.

OK. I'm a little concerned that all my MySpace links have left some kind of "virus disguised as an anti-virus" on my computer (how annoyingly clever!), so I will just say without links that Morning Teleportation was probably the most surprisingly entertaining band I saw all weekend. You can find them on YouTube. I think they hit almost every genre in their set, and they definitely had such a great time doing it all. Best set of the night, hands down.

This was followed by Mimicking Birds, who, in another venue after not following the aforementioned energetic-bordering-on-Riddlin-requiring band, might have been pretty enjoyable. They were quiet, and the sound at the Crystal is awful so I couldn't hear a single word he said, and it just seemed like an inappropriate booking given the other three acts of the evening. I need to give them a second chance at a more appropriate venue though.

Next up was Love As Laughter. If they were opening for another band I wanted to see, that would be OK, but I wouldn't seek them out specifically. Which is not to say that they were bad. I just wouldn't pay money to see only them again.

And finally, Modest Mouse. It was everything I hoped for... a couple of random songs followed by a brief, unintelligible rant by Brock, followed by several more songs...

Followed by a longer unintelligible Brock rant having to do with wanting to be paid in jet skis because then he could visit places he really wanted to visit, only they would have to flood first because that's the only way he could use his jet ski there... This went on for about 4 minutes and when someone(s) shouted "just play a song!" (I was not one of them but I was definitely in agreement) Brock then went on a 5 minute tirade about how he never felt comfortable talking in front of large groups of people and everyone should just respect the fact that he was talking because he felt like he should be talking even though he didn't really have anything to say... and so on and so forth and finally, the inevitable "Oh, fuck it, let's just play a song."

(At least I think this is what happened - between his mumbling, his possible/probable drunkeness, and the terrible sound at the Crystal, he could've been telling us a story about imaginary butterflies in the Amazon who led the ghost of a medicine man to the cure for cancer, and no one would've known what the hell he was talking about either.)

ANYWAY! At that point I was thinking, "just play Float On so I can go home, OK already?" and two songs later they did, and I felt fulfilled, and I went home. I'm sure I missed a great cover of a New Order song or something equally random, but I got what I needed out of that and won't need to pay to see that again.

Only regret this year: I didn't see Sunny Day Real Estate. But I saw Jeremy Enigk last summer, and seeing them Friday would've meant I didn't see Nurses at the Doug Fir, and that would've been sad. Otherwise, I'm OK with how this all went down. And now the wristband has been severed and I sleep. Back to real life tomorrow. Must work on that.

MusicFestNW, Day 4.

Tonight I opted to stay put at Mississippi Studios and see what happened. All the bands appealed to me for one reason or another, and Mississippi is not within walking distance of pretty much anything other than food and shopping (unlike the other venues from prior nights, all within a max 10 minute walk of each other) so staying put made sense. Besides, I'd never been and everyone raved about it, so I figured what the heck.

I liked it all. Other than the venue being a great place to see music, here's why.

All Smiles was just the singer/guitar guy, not the whole band, but other members of the band were there and he never explained why they weren't onstage with him. Good, I don't care, just keep playing those wonderfully lovely depressing songs.

The Lonely Forest were four spunky kids who chatted with the crowd and looked happy to be there. The main guy was clearly the alpha, but later I looked at the CD I'd purchased and saw that all the songs were pretty much his creation so I understood why. The drummer was a joy to watch - very concentrated (tongue sticking out in concentration at certain points), very intent on getting some limelight by rocking out. While the lyrics were youthful, they were also thoughtful - not just words strung together to rhyme, but words that told stories - and at one point it occurred to me that perhaps that was what Ben Gibbard's first set of songs had sounded like. Musically they were completely together... until the energetic alpha knocked his keyboard off the stage, anyway, which pretty much ended the show. (How exciting! I've never seen THAT happen before!) I'm listening to the CD as I type, and they sound much older than they actually appear to be.

Point Juncture, WA were fun to watch. I wasn't as into their music, but I want to give the recorded stuff a try because people seem to think I would dig it. The reason I liked them tonight was because every band member played at least two instruments. The bass player and drummer switched up throughout, the keyboard player also played a trumpet, and the guitarist banged out a few notes on the xylophone at one point, and a few beats on the drum at another point. (Not as impressive as the others, perhaps, but when you also consider that he played that six-string like Animal would've played a guitar... VERY fun to watch.) Also? Two of them played two instruments (drums/tambourine, keyboard/horn) at the same time! Also? It was quite clear that they liked each other a lot, and had a lot of fun playing together. And instead of being happy they got to play longer because the next band was going to be late they basically asked us all to cross our fingers that they arrived safely. And there's much to be said for all of that, so I will give them the old college try.

Cotton Jones was the band that was late. Their bus almost caught on fire, they said, but it didn't. Because of their shortened time, they opted for a very stripped down version of their songs - one acoustic and four voices, which takes a lot less time to set up and break down, and which, if you listen to their MySpace stuff, was quite different but still just as amazing. They're from Cumberland, MD, near my hometown. Buy their CD.

And finally, local faves Loch Lomond. Heard some new stuff and familiar old stuff. I just love these guys and gals. Um... that's a lame review. OK, "lead singer/multi-instrumentalist Ritchie" announced that he'd bought some new argyle socks today but one "had blown out" (it kept falling down). He had rolled up his pant legs to show off his new socks, and at one point he rolled his pant leg down - just the one - to hide the rumpled argyle because it was clearly distressing him so. It is this type of quirkiness that makes this band phenomenal. See them live. You won't regret it.

Today - well, at this point, yesterday - I slept until noon. I'm guessing my Sunday will fare similarly, but I'm old and OK with that. The biggest question: do I bother standing in line five hours early for Modest Mouse playing at the venue with the crappiest sound in Portland, or do I quit while I'm ahead and pay for a ticket next time they go to the Edgefield? Inquiring minds want to know.

And on it goes...

Click here for a cheap laugh.

(Source here.)

Well, duh.

You Belong in Fall

Intelligent, introspective, and quite expressive at times... You appreciate the changes in color, climate, and mood that fall brings. Whether you're carving wacky pumpkins or taking long drives, autumn is a favorite time of year for you.

What Season Are You?

(OK, but this one was pretty funny...

You Are Cilantro

The bad news is that there are some people who can't stand you. The good news is that most people love you more than anything else in the world. You are distinct, unusual, fresh, and very controversial. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

What Spice Are You?)

MusicFestNW, Day 3.

Most of it was quite a bust. I sat through three bands @ Berbati's that seemed interesting this morning, but by the time the night rolled around... well, perhaps I was just ready for something a little more interesting.

I left halfway through the third act, after mentally composing a Facebook status having to do with instating a new rule: people who actually came to see the band, inside - people who came to talk (rather loudly and drunkenly), or Facebook/Tweet/play games*/otherwise wave their glowing neon device in my face, outside. One step ahead of you - NOW GET OFF MY LAWN.

Anyway, I wandered over to Backspace to see what was happening there. Last year I'd seen a plucky punk band from Dallas (which cheered me up) after just missing Matt and Kim (which bummed me out). Apparently, this gal and some friends were what was happening around 10:15 tonight. Lovely stuff, really - but not at all what I was in the mood for, and oh my god people were even talking loudly during THAT quiet set, so I headed back across Burnside to Dante's for a bit of The Soft Pack (good clean loud garage punk So Cal fun), and then over the river to the Doug Fir for one last show.

(No, Dante's, I am not staying for the Mudhoney show, for the same reason I am skipping the Chairlift show at the Holocene - I only know one of their songs and I don't really like it all that much. I suspect I will come to regret the Mudhoney decision, but... eh, whatever.)

But first, a digression. On the way to Doug Fir, I passed an interesting scene involving about five people dressed in colonial garb and one guy with a very large, convincing insect puppet over the upper half of his body. All told the guy + puppet may have reached 12' in height and the guy was maneuvering the insect puppet quite adeptly. I didn't see any video cameras or lights, which would've indicated a typical Portland scene of film school students working on a project.

Naturally, all I could think of this strange debacle in front of me was, "great, he'll probably be at the Doug Fir standing right in front of me for the next show." (Haha, actually, all I could think was "*&^% of all the days I leave my camera at home!!") End of digression.

Why do I doubt the Doug Fir? Why? It's such a silly notion to think they will ever let me down. It was crowded, sure, and after the set it took heroic efforts to procure a CD of the band I had just seen because the seller insisted on exact change of $12, but...

Oh, the set? By a trio of Nurses. It was great. They are unique, interesting, like nothing I've seen since maybe Xavier Rudd last year at MFNW. And from Portland - FTW!

________________
* Before the second act, a girl sat down next to me, pulled out her glowing neon device, and proceeded to play some sort of video game through the second act's entire set. Never looked up once. REALLY? That's just rude.

MusicFestNW, Day 2.

Because at least one person will care about this... Maybe two, if I remind her that this blog exists... Maybe even three, if I can use it as a sample for my music/concert reviewer dream job.

As mentioned, I skipped Day 1 in favor of zombies, so I was very excited to plan tonight's agenda between work projects today. First up was The Helio Sequence (from Portland? I thought they were Seattle!), free at the Wonder Ballroom. I really, really like this band, but I have to say... I was not impressed with the live show. It was neat to see them live, because I never have, but the music and format is not exactly conducive to a great live show. When I can get the same exact thing on my comfy couch, I probably won't be paying money to see anyone in the future. I caught a few minutes of the set of the prior act, Dr. Dog, and I'm glad I did. It's interesting and while I'm not sure I could listen to it regularly on headphones, I would really like to see a full set of theirs live. The energy was definitely there.

Next up: downtown. But first, a digression. I alternated back and forth four times between the Ash Street Saloon and Dante's, which are a mere four blocks apart (thank you, damn small town) but in a sketchy part of damn small town. So this required some serious maneuvering amongst the actual homeless and the hipster "homeless," and I got an offer (twice) from an Emile Hirsch-looking hipster homeless boy offering his services as a "houseboy" and/or "foot massager." I declined both politely, but at 11pm after four hours on my feet I started to reconsider the latter. He said he cleaned up nice, after all, how bad could he be? End of digression.

ANYWAY. Band three (technically speaking, if you count three seconds of Dr. Dog) at Ash Street was Hey Marseilles. I was somewhat interested from their MySpace playlist, and somewhat disappointed initially because the first three songs sounded exactly the same, and they had seven people in the band, and I kept wondering why three of those people didn't just go off and write a different sounding song instead of contributing to the same sound. And then they suddenly pulled some sea shanty/Celtic-type stuff out, and it reminded me vaguely of a very early Decemberists type of music, and I had a whole new respect for this band. Natch, they were out of CDs. And they're not from Portland. Meh. But check them out if you ever can.

Next up at Dante's was Archeology. Portland representing, again! I don't mind their (MySpace) recorded stuff, but it's not something I would listen to on a regular basis and I wouldn't pay to see them again. There was just something off in their show tonight. Maybe it was because they were being videotaped for the MFNW and they were nervous? Maybe it was because they were opening for the greatest band I saw tonight and they were nervous?

Then back to Ash Street, for the Black Whales, who I was really excited about from the MySpace listens. In reality it was just loud (although to be fair, Ash Street is not really set up for loud, but this band wasn't supposed to be loud from the samples I'd heard), and even though they had two drum sets (which I'm growing more and more to love), and one of the drummers had a tambourine in the shape of a moon, and the bass player looked exactly like Will Ferrell, and two of them wore deck shoes with rolled up jeans (the antithesis of hipster), I just couldn't get into it. Very disappointing. All that said, please do check out their free recorded stuff. It's ear-worthy.

Then back to Dante's, where I was surprised by We Were Promised Jetpacks. I must've heard a song or two on the radio because they sounded familiar when I was screening the candidates today. And the band name was instantly appealing - sure to produce some angst and/or melancholy. And that they did. (Apparently, the band name brings "constant disappointment" to the singer, who regrets naming the band such a name. Having recently skydived I can attest to the helpless feeling such a name might project.) But oh my, were they amazing. I'm not sure how they would feel about such a comparison but it felt like I was watching Arcade Fire, Coldplay (albums 1,2 or 4) and Interpol in a glorious musical blender. To me, this is a good thing. As mentioned elsewhere, their recorded stuff is definitely good on the ears but the live show is amazing. They are the only band I've seen lately (excluding The Decemberists, of course) who really seemed to click and who really seemed to want to be doing what they're doing. The drummer was constantly looking at each bandmate for whatever reason - keeping everyone on pace, watching for queues for unanticipated song changes - it really doesn't matter because I've never seen a drummer do that. Good for them.

The band I really wanted to see, I was too tired for, but now I'm kicking myself because it's 1am and I could've squeezed them in had I skipped the review. Initial concerns about eardrums, the ability to fall into bed for an early day tomorrow, and the need to have energy for three more days of this got in the way. Damn this responsibility and getting old shit.

Sooooooooo not Friday five.

Five photos I submitted today for the Oregon Wild photo contest, in no particular order... I have no aspirations of winning but it was fun to sort through the ridiculous mass of photos and pick just five.

There were all these crazy restrictions on where the photos were taken, so I hope I complied. You've probably seen these here or elsewhere already.

Metlako Falls on the Eagle Creek/Tunnel Falls hike - Columbia River Gorge

"Oregon sunshine" flowers on the Steins Pillar hike ~ Prineville, OR

Steelhead Falls - Terrebonne, OR

Silver Star Mountain hike - Columbia River Gorge

Saddle Mountain hike - Clatsop County, OR

Employing callousness to deal with ordinary, yet profound, grief since 1994.

In case you missed the 967 status updates from your friends on Facebook... OMG Patrick Swayze died! I was actually JUST at the grocery store, waiting in line, perusing a National Enquirer-ish magazine which had an article about how he was heading home to die. (I might have to start paying more attention to those National Enquirer-ish magazines. They seem to be on to more than one would think.)

Until this year, the last celebrity passing I was truly saddened about was Kurt Cobain. (Don't ask - it was a grungy, angsty time in my life. Did not help that I went to a Pearl Jam show the night his death was publicized. The band and the ten-thousand-ish crowd were all a mess. It was the most intense show I have ever experienced.) Before that, it was Jim Henson in 1990. But otherwise...

Which is not to say that I don't always shed a tear during the Oscar obituary slideshow every year. But those folks have always been less familiar, less personal, less "my generation." Bea Arthur, David Carradine, Dom Deluise, Ed McMahon, John Updike, Karl Malden, Ricardo Montalbán, Ron Silver? Yeah, those were sad 2009 losses. Billy Mays, Oscar Mayer Jr? Well... I'm sure their parents were proud.

This year? First MJ, then John Hughes, then Jim Carroll, now Johnny Castle?? My adolescence can't stop crying. And Ted Kennedy, Les Paul and Walter Kronkite? Hell yes, those were losses to my generation.

(OK, my adolescence can't stop crying because it's realizing that this probably means I AM NOW OFFICIALLY OLD. Shit.)

Like I said, employing callousness since 1994.

________________
But if you really want to see callous, google "celebrity deaths 2009" and see just how many web sites are dedicated to this. My callousness is in the interest of self-preservation and sanity. Theirs? Just gross. (But surprisingly helpful in my old age!)

If Andrew takes a personal call, we'll ALL take personal calls...

... it'll be anarchy!

 

Meh.

And that's a wrap.

Today consisted of me waking up around 12:30am (yay, insomnia!), watching Roseanne reruns until about 4am, taking a slight nap until 8am, and watching crap on TV. (Um - Toni Collette doesn't count as crap, right - even if she is paired with Cameron Diaz? Right? Shirley Maclaine was there too! But I won't even mention what was visually consumed after that.)

Wait, here's where it gets good.

I decided to see Dead Snow at the Hollywood Theater because... well, because it's a Norwegian movie about Nazi zombies, and that sounded like awesome redemption for my morning o'Lifetime. The movie started slow, but just when I was about to agree with the Rotten Tomato haters it kicked into full gear, mocking and/or referencing every zombie movie ever made, matching Shaun of the Dead's pop culture references and the Evil Dead series' consumption of fake blood.

After the movie I turned my phone back on to find that a friend texted me the following message: "Did I mention wiener dog races @ Grant Park today @ 5pm?" Never mind that my cell phone ate my other friend's message (who I was meeting later) and phone number (which precluded me from calling her back with the meet-up plan). Sure, I'd have to go home before the big show tonight to log in to various web-based services and find her number, but Grant Park was on the way between the Hollywood Theater and my place, and more importantly, THE HELL if I was going to miss a wiener dog race. I mean, come on.

I laughed. A lot. And that was just during the warm up races. I had to leave after the first race but I am soooooo keeping an eye out, and planning accordingly, if this happens again next year.

And then my other friend called again, thereby precluding my need to stop at home, and I met up with her at the Newmark for the Patton Oswalt show, and yes he mocked religion and politics and KFC's latest creations and himself and an unfortunate hipster seated in the front row, and my cheeks and abs still hurt from all the laughing. How can such hilarity just roll off his tongue like butter? (Um, OK, probably a bad analogy but still... funny.)

And now, a final glass of funny before tomorrow starts Day One of Operation Focus. OF will likely require many days, days which do not involve alcohol or spending money or various other deadly sins/debaucheries. I'm so serious about OF (and about OF taking a long time) that I've even stockpiled a bunch of advance-purchase birthday gifts... sorry if your present is no longer relevant by the time your birthday rolls around.

So yeah, I'm about to get pretty boring for a little while. Go read a book until further notice.

Need advice.

OK, so Dexter had me with Season 1. I got it, I got him, I was recommending and enjoying and even Debra's character didn't irritate me. In fact, I kinda felt bad for her in the end.

Season 2 was meh, because although I could watch Michael C. Hall read the dictionary any day of the week and be entertained, all the Rita/Lila crap and Doakes drama left me slightly bored. But I watched and endured. And in the end, it was meh.

But Season 3? I plowed through it today in a sick coughing sniffling couch binge, and overall, it was a disappointment. Jimmy Smits' character was interesting and he's always fun to watch - but otherwise, a big fat fail to the writers of all those promising characters. Rita's drama was unbearable, I just could not believe Dexter would let anyone in on any of his secrets, and the love matches with Debra are always so contrived - really? after two meetings you're gonna go sleep with that guy which could totally eff up your case and then suddenly you LOVE him? REALLY? - but maybe as a purposely single person I suppose I should not judge...? Anyway, Angel, Vince and Mr. Quinn were the only redeeming characters in this season and they were all annoyingly normal. That doesn't bode well for season 4.

(And yet I watched the entire season 3 in a lousy day and couldn't get through each episode fast enough to see what happened, so in the end, who is the joke really on? But. Ahem.)

BUT. The best part about Season 3? It left with me two episodes of The United States of Tara, featuring two of my favorite people (Toni Collette and John Corbett), directed by Diablo Cody and produced by Steven Spielberg, with guest appearances by a very familiar-to-me band called The Eels (and/or A Man Called E, I can never keep up with that guy) and a fantastic comedian that I'm seeing tomorrow night. I'd heard about this show and then forgotten about it, and after two episodes I'm hooked for at least a few more episodes. Or seasons. Whatevs.

Damn you, Showtime. Damn you and the horse you rode in on. Eating up more of my life and what not what.

But the real question is... does this mean I would like Californication? I've been shunning it, what with the DD marriage issues and all, because I don't want to support those issues but I do love watching that man. And I have loved most Showtime shows, especially over HBO shows. (The only recent exception is Flight of the Conchords... which is AMAZING and if you are not a Bret/Jemaine fan I might have to send Dexter to your house immediately. But I'm not crazy like Mel or anything.)

Any Californication experience to report? I'm all ears. Eyes. Whatevs.

Oh, sweet pants of fire, WHY IS EVERYTHING STUPID?

Which I totally stole from this...  but come on, it's widely applicable these days.

If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.

No one should die because their stupid younger sister was made by monks, and the stupid blood of aforementioned stupid sister opened the stupid portal, and the stupid Dagon Sphere and Olaf's stupid hammer don't do what they're supposed to do, and some stupid spirit guide told them that "death is [their] gift."

(Guess what I've been watching again.)

Oh yeah, so about that skydiving adventure.

My friend and I had been talking about going skydiving for years. This is my traveling adventuresome friend, who went to Australia/Belize/Costa Rica with me, who did a 30-minute intro scuba dive despite fears of hyperventilating, who walked across perilous hanging suspension bridges in another (tiny) country with me, who wants to visit every continent soon and has almost done so, and while she won't be joining me for my 20-day Antarctica journey she has her own plan to get there...

So anyway, I knew she was serious. The original plan was the class-5 rafting trip with some other friends but she had to postpone. I replied, "No worries, we'll make our own adventure - how about skydiving?" (I think I got the reply in record time. It was something along the lines of "YES!!!!")

We opted to do this on her actual birthday a few Sundays ago. I made the reservations well in advance, but because the day was so foggy in the a.m. they had to make up for the weather with the earlier groups and we ended up waiting a really long time.

In that really long time, where we were able to wait on the field and watch the take-offs and landings, I went through the following thought process:

• Hour One: Holy bloody hell. We are going up THAT HIGH?? I can barely see the jumpers! They look like stars in the sky!! What the hell have I gotten myself into?!...

• Hour Two: Hmm... overall it doesn't look so bad. People are taking off and landing just fine. Lots of people.
  

• Hour Three: Our safety instructions, which literally lasted THREE MINUTES and consisted of "don't walk into the plane propeller" and five other safety tips that basically culminated to "just effing do what your tandem guide tells you to do and enjoy the ride." I walked out thinking, "Um, I think I need another three hours of safety training," but since I'd signed a liability agreement hours earlier which specifically stated that I understood that "sport parachuting is not a public or essential service and is not of great importance or practical necessity"* and also that "parachutes do not always open," I figured that would be a moot point.
  
• Hour Four: More watching of the take-offs and landings. Oddly calming, despite the group of gals who landed and wouldn't leave the bathroom area because they were convinced they would puke from the adrenaline rush. (They didn't. But suddenly I was convinced that I would.)
  
• Hour Five: OMG really I am ready can we just do this already? At which point I get geared up by a great tandem guide named Terry, who senses my apprehension but also picks up on my exhilaration. He managed to address both adequately in the 15 minute ride up.
  

And from there, it was a 15 minute plane ride up to 13,000 feet complete with instructions and peripheral guidance to the mountain ranges from Terry, followed by an "are you ready?" question as I was sitting on the edge of the plane about to jump (I mean really, what other answer could there be?) and then a minute of intense 125 mph free-fall followed by 8 minutes of 25mph floating and viewing lots of mountains in a 360 degree radius.

So, basically, it was awesome and I hope to do it again soon if an interested friend comes to visit during skydiving season. I went to cross it off my "list" but it's not there. Maybe because I knew it was a done deal?

________________
* I disagree wholeheartedly, BTW.

I need to re-prioritize "learn Spanish."

If I get irritated at someone who has just picked up and moved here to "scope it out" to see if they want to stay, when I basically did the same thing 18 months ago, does that make me acclimated, or just rude?

Or both?

Or maybe just jealous. This Texas-born person had just come from somewhere in South America, and from the sound of it (because boy, was she chatty, which was not exactly well received after I'd spent the day on an airplane) she'd been traveling worldwide for quite some time. Apparently she got by as a "spiritual healer" - although I have never seen a spiritual healer wear so much makeup and tight clothing before, nor have I ever met such a person from the state of Texas.

My friend's sister has almost convinced me that after Antarctica I need to hang out in Argentina and Chile for a while. It's incredibly tempting...

Really. Not in Kansas anymore.

Bush bumper stickers everywhere.  (Really?  Still?) 

 

Mosquitos and humidity (though just a bit of both, so I shouldn't complain too much).  A family reunion of sorts where everyone my age is on their third husband and/or fourth kid (and everyone except me is drinking a lot), where my mom actually said to someone I'd never met before, "Well Jen(n) never got married" - as though I was a 95-year-old spinstress pining away for lost love instead of a 34-year-old independent woman not remotely interested in that nonsense.  THANKS, Mom.

 

Dad's started in on the guilt about moving back east after reminding me to brush my teeth and explaining to me who Jay Leno was - he hosted the Tonight Show for a decade or so, in case you weren't aware.  This is before he turns the water back on after we've been gone all day, and after he unlocks the 19 locks to the house.  Fort Knox has nothing on this place.  If I had a car here he would offer to wash it.

 

Dial-up internet, 5 TV channels, Peets in the freezer from Christmas '07 because I forgot to bring any fresh grinds with me this time.  My second oldest friend has a kid.  (The oldest friend?  Not so strange that she's a mom.  This one kinda freaked me out though.) 

 

And the pool hall I loved as a kid is now a 7-Eleven.

 

Five days is plenty, me thinks.

Not in Kansas anymore.

How is it possible that my parents' house gets smaller every time I visit?  How on earth did I ever live in that tiny bedroom as a teenager?  We drove the route home from my old (also now tiny) elementary school after dinner and I remember it feeling like such a long walk 25 years ago...  A block with three houses felt like a mile.  Tonight it was a couple strides.

 

More interestingly, were my parents always this entertaining, or am I just appreciating them more with time and distance?  They have been married for 47 years.  Perhaps they are just appreciating each other more with time.  It comes across in their interactions with each other, with me, even with perfect strangers like the highly amused server at the restaurant who laughed at them mocking each other as they themselves laughed.

 

The moon in the cloudless eastern sky was amazing tonight.  I saw stars, I hear crickets.  I smell autumn.  It's not quite here yet, but it's close. 

 

Blue crabs and Old Bay seasoning are in my future.  This is a good thing.

 

I'm starting to think that five days is perhaps too short of a visit this time.

 

Wednesday three.

Three things I'm looking forward to over the next five days, in no particular order:

• A mini-middle/high school reunion (thanks, Facebook!). Lots of people will be out of town but the RSVPs are such a mixed bag that it's sure to be amusing.
  
• Meeting my dear friend's newborn, and, more importantly, wine with her and her sister. They're a good sanity check for me.
• Seeing family I haven't seen in ten years.

Over and out. Have a nice long weekend!

Public service announcement.

Pumpkin tempura reheats in the toaster oven quite nicely. I would not have expected that.

Now you know.

Question o' the day.

Should I be concerned that an internal training document refers me to Wikipedia "for more information"?