Idea #59: worst roommate ever.

(I love living alone. You always wanna know why? Well, take it in.)

This one is a tie.

First there was the guy who had no sense of smell, order, cleanliness, manners, common sense... the list goes on and on. Technically he was my boyfriend's illegal roommate but I was technically my boyfriend's illegal roommate too, so it felt like I lived with this guy. My boyfriend's cats hated him and would pee in his shoes, but since he couldn't smell anything he never knew... The best part was that he worked in a school and all the kids would laugh at him for this. You might wonder why we never said anything to him. See first sentence, then consider the time when he was convinced my boyfriend had stolen his REM tickets. He didn't like me, he knew I liked REM, ergo my boyfriend must have stolen his REM tickets. Right? Of course! After a month of the most dedicated silent treatment I've ever seen demonstrated on two people (which actually would've been quite blissful if he hadn't been living in their living room, which just made it all very awkward), and about 3 days before the concert, he made his bed and found the tickets underneath. I don't think he ever apologized.

Then there was my freshman roommate during my sophomore year in college. She was a Beevis & Butthead fan. I mean, FAN. She had a LARGER THAN LIFE picture of B&B which she hung above her bed, which was the first thing I saw every morning when I woke up. She laughed like them (on purpose). She didn't seem to know that there were channels other than MTV, and didn't seem to care if I was sleeping, or studying, or talking on the phone - we were always watching some God-awful MTV program and falling asleep at night to B&B. If I need a hearing aid in 30 years, it's not because of all the concerts I've been to - it's because in college Eddie Vedder and Billy Corgan were constantly screaming in my ears in order to drown out The Grind, MTV Jams, Top 20 Video Countdown, B&B... I knew she was troubled, in the Britney Spears kind of way (minus any talent and/or fame), and I tried really hard to be nice to her but after about a month neither of us had the patience and I ended up spending most of my time in the study hall or with friends. On the plus side, she gave me all my phone messages and she went home a lot so weekends were nice... And we both transferred after a semester so it was only four months of hell.

The fact that these two situations were worlds worse than living with my boyfriend for an additional 2 months after we went through a terrible breakup is kind of interesting to me.

Do the President and VEEP both live at the White House? I bet those combinations of folks would have some fascinating roommate stories from years past...