Early Friday five. And some psychoanalysis.

Five things I learned from my "managing conflict" class this past week, in no particular order:

• I have a tendency to avoid conflict at all costs (using humor, bargaining, accommodation... basically not having the cojones to look someone in the eye and say "let me show you where I have trouble following your reasoning" or "do you have a suggestion to move us forward?" as the class materials suggest).
  
• I might consider myself a people person but really, I'm all about the facts.
  
• I'm too nice.
• Yet, I have no patience for people who have something to say about every single thing the instructor says.
• I don't think I'm cut out for upper management.

We were doing a case study/role play when the "too nice" comment came up. It's something I've known about myself forever - I want everyone else to be happy at my own expense, "no really, you enjoy the party, I'll do your dishes" might ring true for many dear readers - but to hear an almost-perfect stranger say that about me was kind of awakening.

Of course, I don't think my recent work behavior of being a total bitch in large cross-departmental meetings is so indicative of Ms Nice Guy. Incidents include pointedly stating that there are actually three stages to each project and the fact that mine is the last stage does not mean that I am the late one, how about let's look at some of the earlier stages and did they meet their deadlines? no? well, how about that... Or that time today when I suggested a new way to organize meetings without first talking to the original meeting organizer who wasn't even in the room during the discussion.

I'm not convinced that people can change their ways. I think if we take the time to be conscious about approaching a situation, we can temporarily adapt our ways to fit the situation. I would love to be a "conceptualizer" rather than an "analyzer," believe me. It sounds more fun, for one thing. But deep down, I will always need a spreadsheet of cold hard data before I can make a decision. And I will probably always be passive-aggressive and I will probably always want to make sure everyone is happy at my own expense.

There's gotta be a support group for people like me... Or at least a talk show that does not involve Dr Phil.

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But sometimes, when I'm doing the dishes at your party, it's really because I just need a break from all the socializing so leave me alone about it and just enjoy the fact that I'm doing them and you won't have to, already. Savvy?