Top five reasons I need a boyfriend, in no particular order:
- To be another lap for Her Majesty to sit on, so that I can move now and then while watching TV.
- To keep me from drinking nine gallons of wine at the next wedding.
- To be on call 24/7 to reassure me that the politics behind the new job will go away soon (or be replaced by other politics) and in the end, all will be just fine - so that I don't wear out my welcome asking my friends to do this 24/7.
- To drag me out on Saturday nights so that I'm not sitting at home doing laundry and watching documentaries about mammals.
- To encourage me to cook more often.
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