"Float. Just float."

This year was truly Home for the Holidays. Normally I watch that movie every Thanksgiving and Christmas to remind myself that other people's families are just as nuts as mine. This year I didn't have to watch the movie - I LIVED THE MOVIE.

My parents are getting crazier by the minute, what with all the spending time together nonstop and not ever leaving the house. My uncles and aunts are apparently also insane, my brother is ever the wisecracker.

The best part was that my own personal "Russell Terziak"* actually called me on Friday. I was sitting in the living room watching TV, the phone rang, my dad got up to answer it, and came in holding the phone out to me, saying "it's Russell Terziak." Stomach dropping. Last person on earth I want to talk to. SIGH. "Um. Yeah, Russell. I'll call you tomorrow. We'll have lunch. It'll be greeeaaaat."

(OOPS! I didn't call. Oh well.)

The strangest part is that every time I go home, everything shrinks. It seems impossible to me that I could actually walk, live, function in my old room - even with the suitcase moved out of the way I was still tripping over furniture. My street seemed smaller, my elementary school looked visibly smaller, even the backyard and the strip mall on the corner were teeny.

It's not like I hadn't been there since I was 7 years old. I lived there through college, same size as I am now, more or less, and I didn't have these issues.

It's the opposite of this. Only without the elephant.

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* Check the quotes on IMDB if you haven't seen the movie... Yeah. It was like that.