Today's lesson.

"Focus on conscious tranquility. No matter how stressful the day is, your intention is to remain centered and calm. Your goal: to learn that you can control your psychic energy."

OK, this is all starting to sound like bullshit. I concur! However... at some point today (I think it was while I was waiting for the bus after totally oversleeping) it occured to me. The fact that I've said things in mucky-muck meetings that have been outright ignored, that other people end up saying the next week or the next month, at which point everyone slaps their foreheads and says "oh my god you are so right!", was suddenly not demoralizing.

Maybe I was planting seeds, maybe that was my purpose. Maybe this is how things just happen in corporate life, and had I not said such things they never would've been said (again), and subsequently acknowledged and incorporated. Suddenly I wasn't so frustrated. And talking to several mucky-mucks and hearing that I WAS making a difference despite my daily beliefs otherwise, suddenly made a difference instead of sounding like token appreciation.

I dunno. I've also been reading this book on past lives, which I don't NOT believe in but don't totally believe in either, and the message throughout has been: your current life is an extension of your entire existence as a soul. The pains you suffer in this life can either linger to your next life, or be resolved in this life - the former of which means I shouldn't get so anxious about everything, the latter of which means you can rest in peace.

There's really something comforting to that.

I once had a psychic reading where she identified my past lives as always living near the sea, always working with my hands (sailmaker, farmer, winemaker), and being male in all but one past life. The one time I was a female I had several very difficult childbirths that ended up tragedies.

Fast forward to today (or this life, if you will): I can't imagine being landlocked; while I do love a good shoe sale I'm not a girlie-girl; and I don't want kids.

You do the math.