I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy.

This week's Onion horoscope is: "A tall, dark stranger will leave you embarrassed this week after claiming to be a tall, dark acquaintance of yours from college."

Somewhat coincidentally, I googled an old crush from high school the other day. I met him in the early stages of my emo phase, during which time I was a total mess and he was a total mess. So naturally I fell in love with him. Like all my crushes in high school, he knew I adored him and fed me carrots every so often to keep me doing so (in his case, artsy love poems that weren't about me - I pretended they were, he knew this but never corrected me... bastard).

But all of that is an insecure story for another day. As I said, we were both total messes at the time so when I found his name online, I fully expected him to be a heroin addict, or a tattoo artist (he did his own body art and was quite talented), or both. Or in a band, addicted to heroin and fully tattooed. (I don't know where I got the heroin addict part from, it just seemed like a road he was likely to go down.)

Turns out he's happily married, he's been a "big brother" for almost 10 years and he's very active in his church. Who knew! Not sure why I'm surprised though. Ten years ago I wasn't so sure I wanted to live to see 30, and I passed that mark 18 months ago. With flying colors.

I wonder if he ever thinks about me. It's so funny how certain people can mean the world to you and stay in your memory forever, when they've probably long since forgotten about you.

I wonder if seeing a community theater musical will always remind me of high school, painting sets and wearing black turtlenecks, and the beginning of those messy years of my life.

Probably.