"Good evening, godless sodomites."

As he so blatantly pointed out during an award intro with Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert lost to BARRY MANILOW. That was the only time I laughed out loud during the show. There's still 47 minutes to go, but I'm pretty confident that my statement will hold out. (And still I watch. Every fucking awards show, I watch. MTV Video awards this Thursday! Have I seen a music video in the last 12 months? Nope! Will I watch? Hell yeah!)

Not coindendentally, all the Arrested Development (read: genius) actors lost. To? WHO THE HELL CARES? has-beens. Or who-the-hell-are-they? shows.

The Emmys are sooooo last year... Even Her Majesty agrees.