Friday five: time suckage

While you were wondering how to pass the time on Friday, I was wasting mine on these items, in no particular order:

• But it looks like www.psychotic_celebrities_everyone_hates.com is still available. Whew!
• Jared? Clay?
  
• Unrelated, but not really, Jared? Clay?
• OK seriously, who's the REAL douche bag here, I ask you?
• How much time will pass before it's absolutely impossible to create a brand-spanking-new melody, and more importantly, why does Tom Petty care?