Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Random sightings.
My standards have lowered significantly since hitting 20-10.
Anyway, I saw him this weekend at Target... He was perusing the "food" department.
He didn't even need to meet up with his girlfriend a few minutes later. Perusing the Target "food" department did him in for me. The girlfriend was the nail in the coffin.
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* In addition to the aforementioned late-for-jury-duty person, there's also Crazy Cat Lady, who for all intents and purposes is harmless, she just likes to show you a picture of her cat (who looks an awful lot like dearly departed Riley) and tell you the SAME CAT STORY OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. You tolerate it because you know that's going to be you someday.
And then there's Jesus Freak, who tries to get you to come to her church but also tells you fun stories about her and her boyfriend who only wants her for sex (mind you she's, like, SIXTY, no offense to any older readers but, EEEEEW) and who she gets into the occasional all-out fistfight with.
Gotta love public transportation.
Attention, members of society.
1. Do not blame the public transportation system for the fact that you overslept and now you're going to be late for jury duty. (The bus isn't late, you are. How dare you interrupt my morning listen of Bright Eyes to complain to me about it... I wear headphones at the bus stop for a reason. Tell it to the judge, haha.)
2. Do not blame the American Red Cross for making you read the "what you should know about giving blood" sheets every time you give blood. (So many things wrong here, not the least of which is that you could read the sheets fourteen THOUSAND times over before you are actually called even though you scheduled an appointment, so it's not like it's delaying you in the slightest. You still got in ahead of me, so shut your piehole already.)
3. Do not waste airtime voicing these complaints around me because it will only reinforce the fact that I genuinely dislike people as a whole.
Thank you!
Monday, May 30, 2005
Damn you, Murphy, damn you.
Also this weekend...
In Good Company: I stand corrected. If Dennis Quaid sticks to middle-aged washed up sales guys, he will do just fine in what remains of his career. About the movie though... It was cute and endearing and all that shit. But it reminded me too much of my job and left me wishing I had Garden State readily available. So, thumbs hovering midway on that one.
The Sea Inside: OK. I didn't dislike this movie, exactly - in fact I was engaged throughout, but I really didn't see what all the fanfare was about. Oscar worthy? Not that I've seen any of the others, but... really? Again, midway thumbs - but closer to up than down for sure.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Don Cheadle mania.
Hotel Rwanda: I don't even know what to say. Other than, that Cheadle was robbed at the Oscars. ROBBED... And also, I cried my eyes out and temporarily felt bad for living in a nice apartment in a free country. Sadly, the bad feeling didn't last. That truly bothers me immensely - but hey, look, I have wine and pizza and a brand new fancy schmancy cookie sheet! Mission distraction-from-real-life accomplished.
90 minutes well spent.
But there it is, in all its glory! I also ditched the stupid template profile in exchange for my own scaled down version. Minor things, aesthetic- and content-wise, but achievements none the less.
Yay me!
Friday, May 27, 2005
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Because we needed more proof that Tom Cruise was a moron.
Tom Cruise has criticized Hollywood pal Brooke Shields' "misguided" use of the anti-depressant Paxil, while declaring the actress' career as over.
In an interview with Billy Bush on TV's "Access Hollywood" to be screened on Thursday, Cruise speaks of his disappointment to learn Shields used Paxil to fight post-natal depression following the birth of her daughter Rowan.
Shields is currently weaning herself off her medication so she and husband Chris Henchy can have another child.
Cruise says actress should have used vitamins to help her feelings of despair.
Cruise says, "Here is a woman, and I care about Brooke Shields because I think she is an incredibly talented woman. You look at, where has her career gone?"
Cruise maintains, "These drugs are dangerous. I have actually helped people come off.
"When you talk about postpartum, you can take people today, women, and what you do is you use vitamins. There is a hormonal thing that is going on, scientifically, you can prove that. But when you talk about emotional, chemical imbalances in people, there is no science behind that.
"You can use vitamins to help a woman through those things."
I don't even care if he's correct (not that I really think he is). He's a MAN. Therefore he has no right to speak on this topic. Oh, and for the record, coming back from absolutely nothing for many years, and having a successful TV show for several years, and then dropping fame to have a baby and be a responsible parent, is where her career has gone.
Bloody moron.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
All work and no play...
In other news, recently viewed (though not tonight, because I was doing a little of my paid and a LOT of my unpaid job tonight, not that I'm COMPLAINING or anything, um, haha):*
The Best Years of Our Lives: another oldie but goodie. Fredric March put in a(nother) fine performance as the town drunk, and the film itself was a timeless tale of what happens when soldiers return from the war. This is just going to suck by comparison.
Miracle: OK, confession time. I am a hockey fan. A big hockey fan. There, I admit it. I have been for years and years - though, being on the west coast without easy access to viewing the games of all the tremendously talented east coast teams (ahem Sharks suck ahem) has left me lagging in my attention to the game. Lucky for me, it didn't really matter this season...
Anyway! I knew of the story behind this movie, but was too young to experience the thrill when it happened. The film was a pretty excellent re-enactment (once you got past the Disney angle... yeah, sure, he never swore at them... riiiiiiight). The director put a lot of effort into making the movie as close to real life as he possibly could, down to choosing hockey players/actors who looked like the original teammates and choreographing the moves of the players during the games to match those in the original games. So, in summary, I liked this movie a lot. And I need hockey season this fall DAMMIT. Do you hear me, you greedy bastards?? (Kidding. Sorta.)
In yet other news, I love the Shins.
And to all, a good night.
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* For those of you wondering, yes, I have nothing better to do in my spare time than watch movies, because that's usually about all I have the brainpower to handle. It's a tough job but someone's gotta do it!
Monday, May 23, 2005
What to do with your spare time in 80 years.
Also noted:
- The snows of Kilimanjaro are rapidy vanishing.
- Arctic sea ice is up to 40% thinner than it was in the 1960s.
- The first recorded South Atlantic hurricane was in March 2004.
- Lake Chad* covered 9650 square miles in 1963. Today it covers less than 500.
- A melting glacier in the Yukon revealed an 8-foot-tall, half-mile-long pile of ancient caribou dung.
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* Lake Chad is in Africa. Footnote provided for those of you who might not know where that lake was, because you did not hear a 6th grade geography report read by a girl who was obsessed with the country of Chad on the continent of Africa ... chosen specifically because the boy she liked was named Chad.
My report was on Peru. All I remember about Peru is that their capital is Lima (pronounced leeeema not lyma). I did not like a boy named Peru. I chose Peru because there wasn't a country named "Chris" at the time. Still don't think there is. They should do something about that. Get those kids involved in their educations, I say!
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Why I don't own a house.
And THAT, my friends, is why I don't own a house.
Fast as lightning.
Runaway Jury, which could've been subtitled Runaway With Any Ounce of Hope Or Faith I Ever Had In Our Justice System: up until the end I was interested (and mortified and disgusted). But then the end came and I felt betrayed by Hollywood... as I am wont to do. And then I found myself distracted with wondering how different the movie would've been had Gene Hackman and Dustin Hoffman been playing each others' roles instead of the ones they were cast for... He who can do no wrong* was his usual fine self though.
Kung Fu Hustle: worth every penny of my $3 Parkway matinee admission. And then some.
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* Say what you will about Serendipity, America's Sweethearts, Pushing Tin, Conair, etc. Go ahead. I will stick my fingers in my ears and sing LALALALALALALALALA until you are done.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Kinda makes you want a seven-course meal, followed by a siesta.
It makes me tired.
And... um... hungry.
In related news, my oven is broken. Guess that means no Banquet Homestyle Bake for me tonight.
Parental advisory: explicit content.
Haha.
I don't have an opinion, as I probably won't buy the album regardless of where it's sold. I do have a suggestion for DMB though - if it is indeed the money you're concerned about, and not the "artistic integrity of the album," stop giving free concerts. The Stones and U2 can charge up to $400 for their concert tickets, and so can you. You'll still make some money and all those charities will benefit a hundred times over.
Of course, you'll have to project the sound via loudspeaker to the parking lot where all the financially challenged hippies are hanging out...
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Wise guy, eh?
"what is the process of check into flights?"
"www.united.com, www.southwest.com, www.jetblue.com, www.expedia.com, www.orbitz.com or call a AAA travel agent (if you still have AAA) and see what kind of price they can get you."
"...but I'm not an alcoholic."
I lived with this comedian for roughly 22 years... Explains a lot, doesn't it?
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Skills to pay the bills.
Not that any one test says anything, of course - it's just interesting that I pretended to be these things when I was young and this is what came up tonight, and also interesting that I've lately been pondering going back to school to become a vet.* ("Interesting" along the lines of how my psychic reading of my past lives was "interesting.") Coincidence? You be the judge.
And shockingly, according to this test, I should avoid careers in sales and financial services. Well, golly gosh darn it all to heck!!
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* Pondering. Only pondering. I mean, biology classes - YEESH.
Oldies but goodies.
I did enjoy A Star Is Born (the very first original old school one) though. There was just enough cynicism and underlying depression to really engage me, and the acting was terrific... And hey, any Hitchcock movie is okay in my book. If Fredric March's "Star..." performance was any indication, I am betting I will enjoy the third loan as well...
Not an oldie and also not a goodie - The Day after Tomorrow. Never again will I utter, "Jake Gyllenhaal, how bad could it be?" I do have a few questions though... Has our government seen this movie*? Who still thinks that Dennis Quaid can act? And why couldn't the wolves prevail, just ONCE?? Poor wolves.
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* And I mean, in the "detriment to the environment" sense, not in the "let's invade Mexico!" sense. Lord knows they don't need any more bright ideas in that department.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Closed captioning provided by the... impaired.
Hell. If all else fails, I could get a job as a typist for the closed captioning folks.
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* People. It's RUGBY. I don't care if it's male or female rugby, it's RUGBY. What do you expect?
You only get what you give, and how to get free stuff.
So on the last day of my vacation I ventured into the makeup section of the multi-tiered Nordstroms in the city. At first it was overwhelming - the colors! the lights! the makeup girls! the scents! the price tags! - and I almost turned back, but a surge of bravery overcame me and I plodded on. I kept my iPod earplugs plugged to appear as though I was merely browsing, which seemed to kind of work on the sales girls upstairs a few minutes before. But then SHE appeared. After hearing that I was looking for moisturizing foundation, she happily obliged... and then some. And for some strange reason, I succumbed.
Fifteen minutes later, I was decked out in a ratty t-shirt, ratty jeans, ratty Chuck Taylors, and plum eye shadow, eggplant mascara, pink lip gloss and lipliner, "bronzer" (I still don't really know what that is), blush and - yep - moisturizing foundation. It took a lot of effort not to burst out laughing when I saw myself in the mirror.* The foundation felt like just what the doctor ordered, though, not surprising at A LOT OF MONEY A JAR (you only get what you give), so I asked for a bottle and subtly mentioned that I don't normally wear all that other goop. Information which she took rather well. I imagine they're used to it. If I ever get married, hell, I'm going there before the ceremony. Free makeover!
Anyway, of course they were out of the "tone" of foundation I needed (and how to get free stuff) so she gave me 2 little vials of free foundation and took my phone number. A week later, I returned to the store where a flamboyantly gay man called me "little lady" and finally handed over my purchase. And now I still have most of the 2 vials plus what appears to be a six-month supply of really, really good shit. Um, makeup, that is. Lest the DEA gets confused.
And the moral of this long girlie story is... I dunno. Pay a lot of money and your skin will no longer look like that of a desert rat? Frankly, I'm still hung up on the "little lady" reference.
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* A few hours later I went for a run, and forgot that I had all that goop on my face, and wiped my face with my sleeve... which is now purple for life.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
File under: recently viewed
Fahrenheit 451: This probably doesn't even count because I watched about 15 minutes of it, fell asleep and returned it the next day. There must be something about those older movies based on old books I absolutely love, that I can't stand. It seems that a new version has also been announced. Woohoo.
Kill Bill, Vol. 2: I get it now. I really get it now. I completely appreciate them both so much more now. It helped to watch the "making of" extra which almost convinced me that Quentin didn't just split them up into two volumes to make twice as much money, that there was method to his madness. Almost.
An Ideal Husband: Snorefest 2005, circa 1999. So much for Netflix recommendations.
And finally, something I've been pondering off and on since I saw it, and have been meaning to write about but haven't quite known what to say... Crash. I still don't know what to say. I guess I liken it, in a sense, to a morph of Magnolia set in L.A. I guess I can see how some people might think it's over the top, exaggerated, overrated. And I guess if you don't feel uncomfortable after having watched it, or if it doesn't at least get you thinking, then I probably don't understand you. And that's okay... it's just an observation.
And in case YOU don't read the Dish...
Stone claimed his epic was unpopular with American audiences because of the subtle homosexual content.
He said, "They didn't even read the reviews in the South because the media was using the words: 'Alex is Gay.' As a result you can bet that they thought, 'We're not going to see a film about a military leader that has got something wrong with him.'"
In the DVD version, the relationship between Colin Farrell's Alexander the Great character and Hephaistion -- played by Jared Leto -- will be portrayed as simply a friendship.
However, fans of Rosario Dawson will be pleased to know more angles of her character Roxanne's naked exposure will be included in the DVD."
I'll leave you to your own comments about the overall idiocy of Oliver Stone's mentality.* I will add my two cents to the last paragraph though: but of course.________________
* Okay, no I won't (but add your own!): Um, yeah, it's not that the movie SUCKED, it's because of the gay references. RIIIIIGHT. And yes, heaven forbid we watch ANYTHING having to do with military leaders having something wrong with them. Because we aren't inundated with that EVERY SINGLE DAY OF OUR LIVES right now.
Proud as a peacock.
In that 30 minutes I saw at least 4 plot lines from various Friends episodes. And tonight's episode was 60 minutes long. You do the math.
I can't believe that chick from the Sopranos opted for this career move.
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* Now, the Daily Dish, on the other hand... OH NO!! "Comedian Dave Chappelle has been forced to put his top-rated Comedy Central show on hold after checking into a South African psychiatric hospital.
Entertainment Weekly reports the cult funnyman checked into the mental health facility on April 28.
The upcoming third season premiere of "Chappelle's Show" has been postponed indefinitely. The comic recently signed a $50 million deal with Comedy Central for two more seasons of his show."
Saturday, May 07, 2005
On manner mode.
Today I was driving around and it occured to me that it would be great to have a "people remote control" - not only for the "mute" button potential, but also for "manner mode." Cross the street right in front of me even though my light is green? Manner mode! Don't want to hold the door for me when both my hands are completely full? Manner mode! Taste an olive from the olive bar using your hands instead of the toothpick? Manner mode!
Sigh. I am really starting to think I am headed straight for hermitville.
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* Yeah, I have the user's manual. Your point is ... ??? Haha. I did finally pull it out and now I know the magic trick.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
SLOW DOWN.
Jim: "Pssst. What does the yellow light mean?"
Bobby: "Slow down."
Jim: "Whaaat doooess the yelllllow liiiiight mean?"
Bobby: "SLOW DOWN."
Jim: "WHHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTT DOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS THE YELLLLLLOOOOOOOOWWWW LIIIIIIIIIIGH MEEEEEEEANNNN?"
(Ridiculous giggling fits ensued. It's a miracle we didn't get kicked out, or suspended, or something equally offensive.)
Why that's relevant: I am currently watching VH1's "I Love the 70s: 1979" and they just showed that particular scene. All the celebrity commentators said that's their most memorable scene from Taxi. Validation. :)
Seriously though, sometimes I'm really amazed at the things I remember. I can remember that we were in the library for something French-related, but after five years of French schooling I can't remember more than five words of the French language itself. (One of the five that I can remember is "pamplemousse" - which means grapefruit - which is my least favorite citris fruit. Go figure.)
Aww! And now they're talking about the Muppet Movie, my favorite movie EVER (or, sometimes tied with Hair, also made in 1979 but surprisingly without a mention on the show).
... I love the 70's.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Mayhem on eBay.
They already took her match.com profile down. Rats. Suffice to say, it contained the phrase, "more baggage than a cruise ship."
Haha. But seriously, what a nice perspective when you start to think that YOU'VE got issues.
I've got the fever...
Haha. Just kidding. Actually, the only cure is MORE JIMMY FALLON! who was rather adorable in Fever Pitch. Yes sports fans, it's still in theaters ... for about 10 more minutes. See it while you can.
In other movie news, I have tried to make it through Catch 22 a few times this week. I dunno, I totally loved the book and I guess I just don't think the movie is doing it justice. Besides, I can't really get past Jon Voight's character in Midnight Cowboy to enjoy him in this flick. (And have you noticed how much Angelina looks like him in his much younger days? It's freaky.) I'll keep trying though ... what else am I going to do - after all, I'm on vacation, and it's raining! And I'm not bitter about that! Because I'm not at work!! WOOHOO!!
Monday, May 02, 2005
Office Space on crack, and then some sap.
And then, because I am on vacation and refuse to do anything remotely intellectual, I watched the WB. I have a friend who is fascinated by the horrifically bad shows on the WB (e.g. Seventh Heaven and Everwood). I get the Seventh Heaven revulsion (I mean really dear God really what family really lives like that really?!?!) but I have to say, tonight I was rooting for Amy on Everwood. And now I am officially roped in for three more weeks till the season finale.
Damn you, WB. Damn you.
More on shopping (sorry).
(If you know me, you might know that I'm not too fond of shopping, especially given my "low people tolerance" factor. Except for shoes. I loooooooove shoe shopping. This is odd, because I have far fewer pairs of shoes than the normal woman. I think I just like the fact that, unlike with clothes, the size is pretty much guaranteed to fit, and so the experience overall is much more gratifying.)
Digressions: I have often wondered this when I work from home and run errands during lunchtime, and today I really wondered it. Why are all these people milling about in a shopping center on a Monday? Do they not work? How can I get that deal? Are they rich and therefore don't have to work? (This was definitely the case with some of the gussied-up women. Me, I was in overalls and flip flops... Clearly not the case for me.) Are they retired? Are they SAHMs in need of adult interaction? Are they taking a day off, like me?
I also wonder, when I go to Walnut Creek to shop, why people get dressed up to go shopping. A phenomenon I really don't get. It just seems like an utter waste of time, energy and makeup. End of digressions.
I've found that overalls and flip flops tend to keep the psycho salespeople away from you when you're browsing at Nordstroms. Clearly you are not worthy of their attention... and that's the way you like it. Today was an exception. I was browsing the shoes (see above) and I noticed a salesperson stalking me. I mean, really stalking me. She was hovering about ten feet away, and anytime I'd pick up a shoe (or look remotely interested in a shoe) she would start to head over. Then I'd put the shoe down or move on to the next display, and she'd divert her path slightly and hover some more. After five minutes I started to just mess with her. I couldn't help myself. "Oooh, this hot pink sequened stiletto looks soooooo me! Let me pick it up and examine it closely... Hmm, naaah maybe not. How about this leopard skin clog? Hey, it's my size, let me try it on real quick. Hmm, naaah. Perhaps this strappy little number I wouldn't be caught dead in?"
What can I say, it was fun. And it worked - she got the message and left me alone to browse.
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Note to self - mass quantities of vacation days : spending WAY TOO MUCH money :: Gap mucky mucks : spending WAY TOO MUCH money on the Governator's campaigns
How now, brown sweater.
Today at the Gap I found the perfect brown summer sweater that will go very nicely with my skirt. I was so excited about my purchase... until I got in the car. The first radio commerical I heard was about how terrible it was to shop at the Gap because (among other reasons) all the mucky mucks there financially support the Governator, who, as we all know, is a horrible, horrible person and politician.
Hmm. Sorry, California teachers, children, nurses, environmentalists and everyone else with an ounce of humanity in their sad little souls. I am NOT returning that sweater. Goddammit.